Practicing Love: Have the Best Love and Sex of Your Life After 40

Why do so many ambitious, successful couples end up feeling more like roommates than romantic partners? It's rarely because they stopped loving each other. Most people assume intimacy begins in the bedroom. Andrew and Kiana Joyner believe it begins at the kitchen table... in the everyday moments where partners feel heard, understood, appreciated, and emotionally safe. When those moments disappear,...

Many people enter dating determined to avoid conflict. They smile through uncomfortable conversations, overlook comments that don't sit right, or convince themselves they're being "easygoing." Especially for those dating after 40 or dating after divorce, staying agreeable can feel like the safest way to protect themselves from rejection or disappointment. But according to relationship and dating c...

What happens when the person you love feels more like a roommate than a romantic partner? A dead bedroom isn't just about sex. For many people, it feels like rejection, loneliness, and the slow loss of emotional connection. It can leave partners wondering: "What's wrong with me?" "Why doesn't my partner want me?" "Can we ever get back what we had?" In this episode of Practicing Love, I sit down wi...

If you've ever left a date replaying every moment in your head, analyzing every text message, or wondering whether you said the wrong thing, you're not alone. For many people, especially those dating after 40 or dating after divorce, first dates aren't actually about getting to know someone. They're about trying to figure out whether you're being liked. In this solo episode of Practicing Love , da...

What does it take to create a relationship that survives life's challenges and? My guest, Geoff Laughton, has been married for 44 years. He and his wife have been through experiences that would have ended many relationships, but their marriage has continued to deepen and evolve. In this conversation Geoff shares why conflict isn't something to avoid, but one of the greatest opportunities for growt...

Most men were never taught how to navigate a woman's desires. In fact, many were taught to fear them. In this candid and sometimes provocative conversation, intimacy expert Susan Bratton and I explore what becomes possible when women stop hiding what they want and men stop seeing desire as something they have to control, manage, or perform around. Susan has spent decades helping people create what...

Dating after 40, especially dating after divorce,  is supposed to get easier. You know yourself better. You're done with the games. You're clear on what you want. But somehow, the dates still feel like performances. The apps still feel like a chore. And getting ghosted still stings just as much as it did decades ago. That's exactly where this episode begins. In this solo episode of Practicing Love...

Most people dating after 40s have a theory about why love hasn't happened yet. The age. The baggage. The kids. The schedule. Relationship and dating coach  Shana James says every one of those theories is wrong, not because the challenges aren't real, but because they're symptoms, not the cause. In this episode of Practicing Love, Shana explains that the real obstacle is almost never circumstantial...

Betrayal can feel like it shatters everything. Trust, safety, identity can be gone in an instant. But betrayal is also more complex than we've been led to believe. In this episode of  Practicing Love , I'm joined by The Therapy Brothers, Brannon and Tyler Patrick, who specialize in helping individuals and couples navigate betrayal, addiction, and the painful path of rebuilding trust. We explore wh...

What if dating could be enjoyable, and you could let go of the stress of performing, proving, and wanting to be chosen... especially when dating in midlife and wanting real love? In this special episode, I'm joined by my partner, Marc Hopkins, for a real and honest conversation about how we  actually found love — and what we did differently than in our past relationships. We didn't fall in love by...

What if love could actually get easier over time? And could deepen instead of fade?  In this episode, I'm joined by Ben and Kerena Saltzman — partners who don't just  talk  about conscious relationship, but live it. They share what they do to keep love alive, not by avoiding conflict, but by learning to love each other well.  They talk about how it can be intentional, even when things feel messy....

Why do so many relationships feel frustrating, confusing, or disappointing, even when there's real love?  What if the biggest source of conflict in your relationship isn't your partner, but your expectations of them? In this episode, I talk with psychologist and author of  Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex . We explore how quickly we create stories about who ou...

In this episode of  Practicing Love , I talk with tech modern mystic Renée Blodgett,   about where science and spirituality meet in love and relationship. We explore real-life relationship dynamics, like how awareness, vulnerability, and presence directly impact and deepen intimacy, from Renee's spiritual perspectives. We talk about what's beyond traditional conditioning around love and sex, how o...

Most men want to please the women they love. But many don't understand what actually helps a woman open, relax, and experience truly satisfying sex. In this episode, I talk with Certified Sexologist Kevin Anthony, host of the  Love Lab Podcast , about what men often miss about what women need to make sex great for them. For many women, great sex doesn't start in the bedroom. It begins with  safety...

What if calling in "the one" who is a soul-aligned partner isn't about doing more, but about coming home to who you truly are? In this episode, Shana James sits down with Self-Love & Relationship Coach  Risa Gaull , who reminds us of a powerful truth:  you are the love you seek. If you've read  Calling in "The One"  by Kathryn Woodward Thomas and wondered how to truly become and attract a soul-ali...

Money can feel even more vulnerable than sex. In this episode of  Practicing Love , I sit down with money coach and  Gentle Money  author Adam Koren to explore why finances carry so much emotional weight — and why so many couples struggle to talk about them without tension, shame, or defensiveness. Most of us were never actually taught how to manage money in a grounded, relational way. And yet we...

Menopause isn't just a women's issue. It's creates a relationship struggle for both partners. And for many couples, it's the moment things fall apart. In this episode of  Practicing Love , I talk with men's guide Mark J. Platten about why relationships during menopause and midlife feel so challenging, and what men are rarely taught about how to show up. Most men enter relationships with what Mark...

What happens when desire fades, sex feels effortful, or intimacy keeps getting interrupted by resentment, pressure, or exhaustion? In this episode of  Practicing Love , I'm joined by Elana Auerbach, author of  The Sure Thing: A Pleasure Practice to Revive the Spark , for a refreshing and deeply human conversation about desire differences, sensual connection, and what actually helps when intimacy t...

Reclaiming eros can impact every area of your life!  In this episode of  Practicing Love , Shana James is joined by Erotic Wholeness Guide Darshana Avila, whose work has been featured on Netflix's  Sex, Love & goop ,  The Guardian ,  The New Yorker , and more. Together, they explore an expanded understanding of eroticism — not as performance or sexuality alone, but as the life force energy of Eros...

A Conversation on Real Connection & Ecstatic Intimacy What do we actually long for in love? In this episode, Shana James is joined by  Joanna Shakti , founder and facilitator of  Ecstatic Intimacy , for a rich conversation about authentic connection, emotional depth, and intimacy that doesn't require shrinking, over-giving, or shape-shifting to be loved. Joanna introduces the concept of  ecstatic...

On today's Practicing Love podcast, Shana James is joined by divorce coach and NLP practitioner Rachael Sloan for a powerful conversation about how relationships break down — and how they can be repaired before it's too late. Rachael works primarily with men navigating separation and divorce and is the creator of the Better Beyond Divorce program. Together, Shana and Rachael explore emotional regu...

Why does connection and communication break down in long-term relationships, even when love is still there? In this episode of  Practicing Love , Shana James and Hannah Chapman explore the hidden dynamics that cause couples to talk past each other, shut down, or feel chronically misunderstood. Drawing from vulnerable relationship experiences and decades of coaching, this conversation illuminates h...

Dating feels brutal for so many relationship-ready singles, especially over 40. In this episode, Shana James talks with Adam Cohen Aslatei, CEO of Three Day Rule, about how AI is reshaping modern matchmaking and how AI makes it easier for people to date and find real, emotionally available love. They explore dating burnout, why the apps are failing people, the power of intentional dating, and how...

Passion doesn't fade because "that's just what happens." Passion fades because couples are missing a few essential skills. When you learn them, you can create spark and reignite it in long term relationships. In today's video, I break down some deeper reasons passion fades in long-term relationships and marriages, based on 20 years as a dating and relationship coach and the teachings from my book...

How do you have a relationship that feels peaceful and loving, rather than feeling like a rollercoaster? In all phases, from dating to long term relationships, this is something clients tell me they want most. Therapist and author Jessica Baum joins me to explore why safety is essential for real love, and what the foundations of a healthy relationship are. We dive deep into attachment theory, nerv...