Pork Fried Dice - A Dungeons & Dragons Podcast

Have you ever looked at a tree and thought, hey, trees are crazy. Look how big they are, and they're just alive and sitting there. No eyes, no ears, no senses at all, but so...present. Have you ever thought that? Well they've thought that about you, and they're out to get you! Hunker down over at  https://discord.gg/FPNQfsW  and describe your ultimate arbor apocalypse plan. Are you going to hole u...

Episode 200, you guys! We did it! That's a lot of content. I don't know if I've ever done 200 of anything before. Have you? Tell us something you've done 200 of over at  https://discord.gg/FPNQfsW  - and hey, if you haven't done 200 of something, tell us something you'd LIKE to do 200 of, ok?

Task, task, it's time for a task! Episode Description Readers, take a swig from your flask! Head to our Discord at  https://discord.gg/FPNQfsW  just like I always ask! Submit an original haiku describing Pork Fried Dask!

Holy shit - we’ve got some amazing Episode Description Readers out there! If you haven’t yet, please take a look at our quickly developing wiki at pork-fried-dice.fandom.com. It’s mind-blowing the detail and effort being put into the site, and it’s coming along great! And while working on that will continue to be an ongoing task for some time, this Episode Description would be lacking if it didn’t...

Howdy, EDRs! I’m pleased to report that the Pork Fried Dice wiki is coming along quite smoothly, thanks to your wonderful efforts. In case anyone reading this doesn’t know what I’m talking about, please head over to  www.pork-fried-dice.fandom.com and take it all in. Heck, even throw in some wiki editing yourself! Anyway, we still need a task for this week. What I want from all of you is to come u...

EDRs! I have another task for you this week! Now this may seem strange, as it may appear to be an actual task instead of some random thing I come up with that has little to no meaning and is largely inane, but don't be alarmed. If you've been in our internet treehouse recently, you'll see that we have the beginnings of a new wiki! That's right - visit www.pork-fried-dice.fandom.com to see the grea...

Dearest EDRs, in this epsiode you'll get to hear about the first two albums I had ever owned. This week, it's simple - tell us all about *your* first albums, and be sure to include just how embarrassed and/or proud you are!   Music:  https://www.purple-planet.com

So you're clearly a dedicated Episode Description Reader at this point. That much is clear. But just HOW dedicated? This week, your task is to design a Pork Fried Dice tattoo. Sketch up your best rendition, and share it with us in our hideaway, including where you think it would best go on your body. Also, feel free to guess what NEXT week's task will be!

Batthwack's the fruit, eh? Oh dear, Episode Description Readers, you know that can only mean one thing. It's time to assign each of your beloved PFD characters a fruit that best represents them. AND BEFORE YOU ASK, yes, tomatoes count. Let us know in our digital sanctum santorum in whatever amount of detail you like - you can just list them off, you can explain your choices, or hey, you can even s...

Last week was a bit of a break for you veteran EDRs. This week, however, it's going to get SUPER TOUGH! I'm going to be as tough as you as I am on my players. Get ready to see the ruthless side of me. I need you to head to HQ and post a photo of your pet(s). If you don't have a pet, then you must post a photo of the pet you'd love to have. And if you don't have and don't want a pet, you must post...

So it's been about two months since the founding of our snobbish, elitist, supercilious faction - can you believe it's been so long? Anyway, I thought it would be a good time to potentially bring more members into the fold. And if you're reading this and have no idea what I'm tallking about, don't worry - you're already eligible. Just visit  https://discord.gg/FPNQfsW  to find out exactly how gran...

It's a new season! The autumnal equinox has arrived here in the northern hemisphere, while our friends in the southern half of the globe are busy celebrating the vernal equinox, which is primariliy focused on lauding the waxy/cheese-like white substance found coating the skin of newborn human babies. I'm also writing as the 2020 Emmy Awards are happening, apparently, which is so great because all...

It's time! Yes it's time! For another Episode Description reader task! I hope you're imagining music behind these words, because that's how I'm writing it! This week, we're going conceptual. For your task, you need to think of what color you would pick for the characters in the show. Feel free to delve into your reasoning if you'd like, but the only rule is that you can only pick one color per cha...

Howdy, howdy, loyal EDRs! This week's episode comes with a brand spankin' new Pork Fried Dice Ad, straight from the brain of your own KT! As such, your next task deals with our long-standing, intermittent history of advertisements. Can you manage to pick your favorite from our entire back catalog? Choose wisely, as the stakes have never been lower! Head to the usual spot to share your thoughts! Su...

Oh, you crazy EDRs. So much great stuff from you guys so far. Hopefully the week off gave you some time to recuperate in preparation for this week's objective. Yes, that's right, it's time for another Episode Description Reader Task! This week, I'd like you to submit a photo of where you most often listen to Pork Fried Dice. Feel free to censor or obsucre any details you would like or would be leg...

Welcome back, loyal EDRs! Our hideout is getting even more crowded, but let's see if we can pack even more nerds in here. COVERTLY, of course - this IS a secret society, after all. Try to recruit other members, but you have to be super subtle about it. Subtlety is the name of the game in Pork Fried Dice, so follow our lead. Drop some elegant hints to some of our less informed listeners, and feel f...

Week 3 and still going strong, loyal episode description readers (or EDRs, if you're into the whole brevity thing). Great work on last week's task - for this week, I'd like to see some more entries in the "favorite quotes" section in our secret meeting place. It's ok to paraphrase if you're not sure of the exact wording - some of these quotes might be over three years old at this point!

Hello, dear episode description readers. It's time for your next mission. Last week, you all did a great job, so I'm sure you won't disappoint me this time around. Your task - take a photo of something out there in the world that reminds you of PFD. Maybe it's a bag of flour! Maybe it's a murderous goat with a southern accent! Maybe if I keep going, I'll take all of your good ideas, so I'll stop!...

Ok, everyone who's reading this right now, you are members of what I strongly suspect is a very small group - the people who actually read the episode descriptions that I, Eric, your trusty rusty DM, write each week. I would like to invite you to a private Discord server, just for you and me, where we can do whatever the hell we want. It's super secret - I haven't even told KT or any of the other...

Guys, get reach to clench and release with this one, as you're gonna find yourselves on the edge of your butts. Your jaws are gonna hit your pelvic floor, I tell ya!

My name is Eric and I'm here to say Today's episode is a lot of fun. Hey! You'll hear about lizards and labrynthine tunnels But you won't run into any ladles or funnels.

Is this gonna be a water level? Everyone hates water levels! There's probably some dumb key hidden under some dumb moving platform that nobody would ever think to look beneath, causing the party to eventually purchase the Prima's Official Strategy Guide! Just you wait, listeners, you'll see.

I can't believe the group is so worried and freaked out about apparently not needing to sleep. Could you imagine how much stuff you could get done with all those extra hours! So much more wasting your life staring at your phone!

RIP Harry. Harry Styles? Harry Potter? Harry Houdini? Harry Truman? Harry Shearer? Harry Caray? Harry Belafonte? He's definitely one of those.

That trout's voice was very gravelly, much like the bed of the Beartoggle River! Is that a coincidence, or am I, Eric the DM, dropping hints in the episode descriptions about the plot of the current Pork Fried Dice storyline?