Pork Fried Dice - A Dungeons & Dragons Podcast

Let's go meet that fishy god Is he really a trout or is he just a cod He's probably a big ol' fraud But hey, at least he isn't Strahd!

In all my 37 years of running the well dressing contest, never have I had to deal with someone so rude, so impudent, as that...person. Where did he come from? I know we don't have any rules on allowing people from other towns into the festival (to be honest, it hasn't really ever come up!), but I think maybe we need to consider putting some kind of...safeguard in place. If anything, just for the s...

If only the NATO alphabet had more dance-based letters than just Tango and Foxtrot, I could come up with a great little blurb here to go along with that dance contest from last weeks episode. As it stands, I can only spell TF, FT, and FFT. What's that? What about "TTF"? Don't be ridiculous - that's not a word!!

Flight Height Fright Plight Fight Trite? Muscovite Good Night!

Holy moley, what's that I hear at the beginning of this episode? Is that what I think it is? What is, this 2018?!?!?!?!   MUSIC CREDIT: “The Music Box” from Purple Planet Music. Music:  https://www.purple-planet.com

Avast, ye dogs with some kinda vitamin deficiency ye might get from spendin too much time ridin around on platforms carried by wee drakes! There be a new PFD episode comin' along side yer starbord side. Prepare ta be aurally boarded!

Hey all. Have you ever decided to go out on a limb and really flesh out and describle an NPC's physical appearance, way more than you typically do, only to have them instantly diminshed to a single, inaccurate, tv anime reference, completely destroying what little faith you have in yourself when it comes to your skill in character description? ME NEITHER!

And the legendary Zone of Truth has once again taken center stage! Everybody, give it up for Zone of Truth! And please, tip your wait staff, they're workin' hard out there for ya!

Well isn't this turning into a regular Miss Marple tale. I suppose Will probably has enough tweed on him to clothe any aspiring sleuth who might be able to crack The Case of the Missing Stupid Shit!

This airship ride is getting heavy, man. Like really heavy, dude. It's so...heavy!

To this day, there are still parents who frighten their children with the tale of the enormous turtle who will turn and fix his beady eyes upon you while emitting a hideous, eternal squeal if you don't eat your beets.

What, a new character? And we didn't lure Greg into an abandoned cellar under the ruse that we had a wonderful cask of sherry for him to try and then brick him up in a long-forgotten corner so that he could waste away in the dark with only his hoarsening screams to keep him company? I guess we're not devoted to our craft.

Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Steed Corral. Its five-year mission (reflecting the actual span of time of about 2 days): to explore strange new campaigns, to seek out a new character and new non-misty civilizations, to sloooowly go where no Will has gone before.

You've done it. You've made it to the final episode of Season 1 of Pork Fried Dice. "Wait," you're saying to yourself. "That makes it sound like there's going to be a Season 2 . I didn't sign up for that. I thought I was done after this. My Podcast Seargent said my tour was only for 163 episodes. Hell no, I won't go!" Yes, it's true - war is hell, and hell is never ending, and Pork Fried Dice is a...

Hasn't this battle gone on long enough at this point? Strahd must have only like 12 hp left at this point, right? This episode is probably going to be one hit from Lank or Batthwack, a few minutes of exposition, and then Pork Fried Dice is done forever!

Once again, the party finds themselves toe to toe with the Lord of Barovia, Strahd von Zarovich. Is this the final battle with the undead ruler? Will the party emerge victorious? Is the ice cream at Dairy Queen really made from cow's milk?

Oh, a foine bonny lass has been found in the Ravenloft crypts. Top of the mornin' to her!

Man, I love that opening crypt door sound. Like, really love. I think I'll keep using this sound as many times as I can, for as long as I'm DMing.

Talk about a deluxe defenestration!

Lara Croft would be so jealous of the party. Get it? Because she's a "tomb raider"? And the crypt is full of tombs? And they're raiding them?

Captain Clockface He's our hero Gonna make a necklace Just like Batthwack's

Did you enjoy the brazier shenanigans from the last episode? I'm content to enjoy the phrase "brazier shenanigans," and you should be too. Are you not entertained by this two-word combo?!

Ah, there it is. My castle. And good old Barovia Valley. How could I ever forget it? And there I am, with that dumb pale face and... that stupid melodromatic cape. But no matter. Batthwack, Lank, Nick, Raphina, and Will were on their way.

Happy Holidays! A super-sized episode of Pork Fried Dice, perfect for sharing with the family! Offend Grandpa! Scandalize your newphew! Seduce your third cousin! Anything is possible if you put your behind to it.

After taking the appropriate amount of time to figure out what to do the clowder of cats last week, the episode ended.