Polycurious

Today I chat with Philip, the host of the podcast Dear Poly where I was a guest last year. We go deep into Philip’s coming out story and how he had to break so much stigma in his religious community to be his true self. If you have ever had a hard time letting go of shame, as a queer person, non-monogamous person or simply someone with a high sex drive, I think you will resonate with this episode....

Jess is a trauma centered relationship coach and plant medicine guide. Zach is a breath work facilitator and men’s intimacy coach. Together they have the Sacred Ships podcast, where I had the pleasure to be a guest last year. Today we talk about how they healed their sexual trauma, partly through their relationship. Zach opens up about using porn in a way affected his sexual performance, and revea...

In the first episode of our third season Mariah and I spoke to Taylor and Alan, who identify as solo poly and nonhierarchical. Both of them started their non-monogamous journey in high school and have since been immersed in the poly and sex-positive community.  Today we talk about their experiences of seeing each other fall in love with other people and experiencing jealousy. They also share how p...

In the last episode of Monocurious we interview Tory and Jackson, a couple living in at Lightning Society, a co-living residence and event space in Brooklyn.  Today Tory and Jackson give us a crash course on non-sexual intimacy. Tory tells us why she decided to remain single for most of her twenties, focusing on her independence and building intimate friendships. Jackson, on the other hand, f...

In today's episode, we discuss dating culture, the various contrasts in experience men and women have, as well as some hot tips on communicating expectations after a first date. Tory recently moved to NYC from San Francisco, for work and to find partnership with a Jewish woman. Ava, our Monocurious co-host, has lived & dated in NYC for 8+ years. Tory and Ava share how their family, culture, an...

Sue & Jon became exclusive not long after their first date and married exactly one year after they met. When we joined them late last year, they were just six weeks away from having a baby. Despite going down what might seem a very conventional path (getting married, buying a house, having a baby), they are welcoming and understanding of the alternative paths many of their friends have taken....

In our season finale, I speak to Mariah (the occasional co-host of the podcast) about the story of how we grew to be best friends who occasionally play. We also give you an update on where we are in our relationships and exploration of non-monogamy. I talk about how a deeper level of engagement with someone I am dating is teaching me to prioritize my primary partner and making me reflect on the bo...

In this episode, I speak to Ari and Jeshua, a polyamorous couple that has been together for 2.5 years. In our conversation, we talk about their experiences dating people together and separately, their growth from secondary relationships, and their polyamorous community. We also have an interesting conversation about expressing your feelings for other people to your primary partner. Lastly, Jeshua...

In this episode, I chat with Marcela, also known as thehypnoqueen . Marcela tells us about her shared sexual and romantic experiences with her former partner Brad, including forming a beautiful triad with another woman. Marcela also tells us how Brad and she decided to separate after over 4 years of being together and how they are approaching this new phase of their relationship. Follow Marcela on...

In this episode I chat with Valentin (Awake and Sexy on Instagram,) an Internal Family Systems-trained Intimacy Coach & Guide. In this conversation we talk about Valentin’s own struggles with anxiety and intimacy and how they led him to delve into several mindfulness techniques and to leave his corporate job to start Awake and Sexy . We talk about Neo-tantra, MDMA therapy, and briefly touch on...

A common challenge couples who start opening up face is realizing that they have different ideas of what that actually means. In this special episode we listen back to some guests from the first season who had different desires or faced an imbalance in the way they approached non-monogamy. Guests from Season 1 included in this episode: Book a free exploratory coaching session with me ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Carol and David have been in a polyamorous relationship for about eight years. In this conversation, we chat about their boundaries evolving from a three page document to simply having to check in with one another. They share some of the difficulties that they experienced as they navigated having more than one serious romantic partner. We talk about an accidental breach of trust and about how that...

In this episode I speak with Rachel Krantz, former editor at Bustle and Author of the book Open: An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation and Non-Monogamy. Her book is both a cautionary tale about gaslighting and manipulation and a story about the lessons and fun experiences that being open can bring. We talk about the red flags that might indicate you are being manipulated and discuss why often t...

In this episode, London shares her reasons for being solo poly and not seeking a primary partner. She tells us ho she is working on getting validation from herself and letting go of expectations when it comes to relationships. We talk about the importance of communicating intentions and feelings, even with people one is casually dating. Last but not least, we go in-depth about London’s experience...

In this episode I chat with my friends Jasmine and Felipe, who have been together for about a year and a half. With the exception of a short period at the beginning where they dated independently, they have only had experiences as a couple and mostly with women. They tell us why dating separately sounds both intriguing and threatening to them. We also talk about the complexity of making moves on f...

Queer Dating Coach, Ariella Serur, works with queer people navigating the dating world, so it becomes an enjoyable process and part of their personal growth journey. In this conversation, Mariah and I chat about Ariella’s own queer and non-monogamous journey. We talk about how to date as a newly queer person and how to deal with feelings of infatuation and new relationship energy. We also discuss...

On our season premiere Cookie and Jerry open up about their journey and their breakup. We talk about how their current separation has benefited their relationship. This conversation highlights how communication has to be a continuous effort. No matter how long you have been together, things change all the time. You have to do what is right for you even if it is different from what worked in the pa...

This bonus episode is an edited version of our interview for a feature article in Bushwick Daily. Allie Ferrera interviewed both Mariah and I about the podcast. We talked about the inspiration behind Polycurious, the difference and similarities between monogamous and non-monogamous relationships, and what boundaries mean for us. We also have a special announcement: we will be releasing a second se...

For our last episode of the season I chat with my co-host and best friend Mariah. If you haven’t listened to the first episode of the season where I interview her for the first time, go back and listen now. In our conversation, Mariah updates us about coming out to her family as polyamorous. We talk about her experience falling in love with her secondary partner and eventually breaking up with her...

In this episode I interview Seth, my partner of almost 3 years. So far he hasn’t sought out to be non-monogamous, despite having a partner who is. In our conversation Seth tells us about his upbringing as a homeschooler and the son of a pastor in a small midwestern town. We talk about how we met and his reasons for not pursuing non-monogamy. We tell you what our boundaries are and how they have ev...

In today’s episode I speak to my wonderful friends Ruth and Alejandro, who have been together for eight years. In this conversation they tell us how everything went wrong when they first met and how they ended up together anyway. They share their missteps as they began to open up their relationship, including a disastrous first threesome. We talk about their boundaries, how they have evolved, and...

Mariah and I talk to Mr. K, someone who tried polyamory and realized that it's not be for him. In this conversation we talk about his non-monogamous inclinations and his kitchen table poly aspirations. He tells us how he realized his ideal didn't match up to reality after being in the poly scene for five years. We also talk about how despite that, he considers himself as someone with a lot...

Anna and Chetan have been together for 4 years, but they each have been exploring non-monogamy for almost 15 years. In this conversation they share what they have learned during that time. They also share their experience forming a triad and how that dissolved before moving in together. Lastly, they give lots of great advice for polycurious people, especially when it comes to jealousy. Book a free...

Tarynn is a New York-based Psychotherapist who focuses on alternative sexualities & lifestyles – including non-monogamy. In this episode we talk about how she opened up her relationship with her husband of 8 years. She speaks of relationship anarchy and reveals how she achieved a comfortable "kitchen table" dynamic between her husband and secondary partner. We also talk about how she...

Ana and Dustin are a married polyamorous couple who have a very loving relationship. In this conversation we talk about gender roles in non-monogamy: how they influence Dustin’s jealousy and affect the way they each relate to other potential partners. We also talk about the importance of establishing a solid base on one’s relationship before opening up. Watch their dating show Quarantine Crush Boo...