Polycurious

In this solo episode, I'm sharing the emotional processing tool that's completely changed the way I handle difficult emotions. It's called RAIN, and while I didn't create it (it was popularized by meditation teacher Tara Brach), I've adapted it over the years for myself and my coaching clients. It's become one of the most effective ways I know to work through jealousy, calm...

Sex and relationship coach Sam Charles joins me to explore the shadow side of New Relationship Energy: the nervous system rollercoaster. We also talk about the reasons he is no longer over-compromising in romantic relationships, and he shares great tips for navigating the challenges that can emerge in non-monogamy when people are unclear about their agreements, intentions, or capacity. Resources m...

In this episode, Sam opens up about discovering his attraction to men later in life, what it was like having his first boyfriend, exploring sexual compatibility for the first time, and working through internalized shame around bisexuality. Listen to Sam's episode : https://open.spotify.com/episode/2hy7CGmqLikpnSJNfQPOPO?si=AMPvFjE1RAeuSYiI0Z9S_Q Sam's website : https://www.samcharlescoaching.com/...

Today I share my experience unexpectedly domming someone for the very first time at a sober kink party, and how stepping into my dominant side helped me rethink my relationship with non-monogamy, begin to untangle some of my daddy issues and feel incredibly empowered.  Resources mentioned Carnival Dungeon Party : https://www.instagram.com/carnivaldngn.co/ Polycurious Patreon: https://www.patreon.c...

Today, Vee from Girls Gone Deep shares her journey into kink, what makes a great dom, and what people can actually gain from exploring BDSM dynamics. We also dive into what it feels like to want a level of commitment your partner can’t offer, and how to know when it’s time to walk away Resources mentioned: Girls Gone Deep Podcast : https://www.girlsgonedeep.com/episodes ⁠Bonus ep.77 Can You Deesca...

What if your head is on board with non-monogamy, but your body freaks out when your partner dates someone else? Today, Bella and Patrick, who started their relationship long-distance and non-monogamous, share how they learned to navigate  multiple partners, set clear agreements, and regulate their emotions.  Resources mentioned: Bella’s Website https://www.bella-paints.com/coaching Bella’s Instagr...

Abbey and Liam from the Evolving Love Project return to share more about their journey opening up their relationship. They unpack why fairness doesn’t always mean doing the same things, reflecting on Abbey dating solo for two years before Liam did. They also explore whether compersion—the feeling of joy or happiness for your partner’s experiences with others—is something you can learn, and how it...

Nancy and Jonny spent months focusing on education, workshops, community, and strengthening their communication before taking their first steps into non-monogamy. In this episode, they share what that intentional process looked like, the challenges they encountered, and how moving slowly helped them build a deeper sense of safety and trust in their relationship. They also share practical communica...

What happens when you stop wanting sex with your long-term partner(s)… but not with someone new? In this episode, I’m joined by relationship coach and host of Making Polyamory Work , Libby Sinback. Libby shares openly about a four-year period in her marriage when she and her husband didn’t have sex and what it took to find their way back to intimacy. Resources mentioned: Learn more about Libby her...

In this episode, JJ shares how he went from being in a monogamous relationship to fully embracing his queer and non-monogamous identity. He opens up about working through shame and what it’s been like navigating queerness and non-monogamy as a man in a heteronormative culture. Resources mentioned: JJ's Bonus Patreon Content : https://www.patreon.com/posts/bonus-ep-72-nre-150958971?utm_medium=clipb...

In this episode, Nicolle Hodges shares how she discovered the world of kink, became a lifestyle dominatrix, and realized BDSM can be profoundly therapeutic (the subject of her upcoming book!). She also reflects on her experience in a polyamorous relationship, including navigating a throuple, and explains why she ultimately decided to step away from non-monogamy. Follow Nicolle on Instagram : https...

In part two of my conversation with Kayla and Carl, we explore how jealousy can be a powerful source of information, helping us understand what we want more of and how we can grow. We also talk about a major milestone in their non monogamy journey: Carl’s first experience stepping outside his marriage, which was also his first sexual connection with someone other than Kayla. Resources Mentioned: ⁠...

Kayla and Carl, a married couple with young kids, share how non monogamy helped them move out of a decline in sexual connection and communication. While Carl was initially not interested in exploring outside the relationship himself, his support of Kayla’s exploration became a major turning point. Kayla, who is seven years older and had often felt more in charge in the relationship, began to see C...

In this episode, we explore what it looks like to navigate three Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell relationships in which all partners want escalation, while Skyler is not ready to step onto the relationship escalator with any of them. This tension is especially present for Alex, who is in her mid-thirties and thinking seriously about partnership, stability, and having children. Skyler shares how he moved fro...

Today, Jesse opens up about two challenging breakups that unfolded in the context of non-monogamy, how those endings impacted his reputation within his community, and how they shaped the way he saw himself. He also shares how later, healthier relationships helped him rewrite those old narratives. We talk about why we’re often drawn to people who aren’t actually a good fit for partnership, why even...

In this episode, I finally sit on the other side of the mic. I’m interviewed by my friend A (who you might remember from the episode with her husband J). We talk about my upbringing, what I learned about my sexuality (including discovering masturbation much later in life), my journey with Seth as my primary partner and eventually finding a second partner, what it was like to navigate conflict with...

In the second part of my conversation with A and J, we talk about how J learned to face and work through his insecurities instead of letting them dictate how A connects with others. We also explore how differently they’ve each approached non-monogamy, with A actively dating while J has taken things more slowly as he continues to unpack his religious upbringing and lifelong monogamous conditioning....

A and J opened up their relationship after nearly three decades together, when menopause sparked a surge in A’s libido. In this episode, we talk about their process of untangling enmeshment, how they moved from a rule-heavy dynamic — with J, who was initially hesitant about non-monogamy, setting most of the boundaries — to having no rules at all. We also explore how those early rules revealed inse...

Today, Evita Sawyers ((@Lavitaloca34) shares how she went from letting jealousy and anger take over to becoming more grounded and less reactive. We talk about her experience being in a triad and how opening her marriage revealed gaps in her relationship with her husband, ultimately leading to their breakup. This episode explores how non-monogamy can uncover powerful truths about yourself, serve as...

Roshi and Frankie have been navigating a long-distance polyamorous relationship for over three years, where they both have other partners. Today, we talk about: How to balance multiple relationships without losing a shared vision Their experience building a long distance partnership Finding security even when your partner has a nesting partner Why non-monogamy is also an inner journey that can hel...

In my conversation with John, my secondary partner, we get into how our relationship grew from friends-with-benefits into partnership. We revisit an early incident that brought up his fear of disappointing partners and my own struggles with trust and safety, and how that shaped our early days. I share what it’s been like to face my fears around partnership and learn to find safety within myself, w...

Catherine and Brian went on Feeld looking for a threesome but things took a turn when Catherine fell for a woman who’s also married with a daughter. Now the two couples (and their kids) have formed a loving polycule built on honesty and care. In today’s episode, we talk about how Brian stays sensually connected to the dynamic by being submissive, even though he’s not sexually involved with Catheri...

Adam is the author of Seek the Risk, the only memoir I know of by a man about non-monogamy. In this episode, he shares how being with a female partner who was more sexually active than he was challenged his sense of masculinity. He talks about how he overcame those feelings using techniques from his extreme sports background, including recognizing harmful inner narratives and reframing fear. Patre...

In the second part of my conversation with Alex and Didi, we’re diving deep into MFM (male-female-male) threesomes, something they’ve explored together, and that Alex has a lot of experience with solo. He shares how he went from feeling uncomfortable with seeing his partner receive pleasure from another man to actually making it one of his biggest kinks. We talk about why this dynamic can be incre...

Today, Didi and Alex talk about what it’s like to be in a relationship where one partner is just beginning to explore non-monogamy while the other has years of experience. We also get into the complexities of couple-to-couple play, including the communication challenges, mismatched expectations, and lessons learned from their early experiences. Patreon Bonus Content: Navigating Couple-to-Couple Pl...