Geometrika AI & LLM Search Analytics

Please Cite Me, Robot

Technology EN ↓ 3 episodes

Welcome to the funeral of your organic traffic. ⚰️Remember when being #1 on Google actually mattered? Good times. Now, ChatGPT, Perplexity, AI Overviews and others from the AI gang are answering your customers' questions while your website collects digital dust."Please Cite Me, Robot" is the podcast for marketers who are tired of shouting into the void. We roast traditional SEO, panic about "zero-click" searches, and figure out how to manipulate... uh, optimize... the AI overlords to actually mention your brand. Stop crying over your CTR. It’s gone. Learn how to get into the AI’s brain instead...

Author

Geometrika AI & LLM Search Analytics

Episodes

The Robot is Cheating on You (With Your Competitor) 💔🤖 17.12.2025 8:02

You thought you were the market leader? Cute. Zero-Click Nick finds out that when he asks ChatGPT for the "Best Agency," it sends users straight to his arch-nemesis. Hallucination Heidi breaks down the hard truth: In the AI era, you aren't fighting for rankings, you're fighting for Share of Voice. We discuss: Why the AI loves your competitor more than you (hint: it’s not about their logo). Geometr...

Dashboards for Losers: Why Your Green Arrows Are a Lie 📉 04.12.2025 9:16

Stop patting yourself on the back for that 2% Click-Through Rate. It’s embarrassing. In this episode, Zero-Click Nick tries to impress Hallucination Heidi with his monthly SEO report, only to realize he’s reporting on a ghost town. We expose the "Agency Lie"—why the reports you pay thousands for are hiding the real disaster inside the AI "Black Box." We cover: Why your Google Search Console is gas...

The Funeral of the Blue Link ⚰️ (Your Traffic Isn't Missing, It's Stolen) 25.11.2025 9:19

Grab a shovel, we’re burying your SEO strategy. In this debut episode, Zero-Click Nick is having a mental breakdown because Semrush says he's #1, but his analytics look like a crime scene. Hallucination Heidi explains the hard truth: Google isn't sending you traffic anymore; it's cannibalizing your content to feed its AI. We discuss: Why "Zero-Click" is the scariest buzzword of 2025. How Google AI...