PLAYING-IT-SAFE

In this second part of my conversation with Andrew Nalband, we discussed in detail how he manages all the noise that shows up in his head, what has worked, and what hasn’t when dealing with a tendency to do things right and perfectly. Key Takeaways Why meditation/mindfulness practices matter The influence of cell phones on our thinking The difference between cognitive restructuring and acceptance...

There is nothing wrong with striving to do things right and perfectly. It depends on how often you do it, when you do it, and how it works in your life in the long run. What is unhealthy is demanding perfectionism, which involves demanding that you are perfect and do things perfectly, otherwise, you may think of yourself as unworthy, not good enough, or a screw-up. Those particular patterns of per...

Stress is nearly unavoidable in our daily lives. Unexpected things can happen to all of us, and often, we may choose to play-it-safe by working harder and harder, doing more and more. I am sharing today an interview with Espree Devora. Espree has been recently featured in INC Magazine as one of the top 30 women in tech to follow and is known as “The Girl Who Gets it Done.” Key Takeaways: How to fi...

Have you ever been struggling emotionally and a partner, colleague or caregiver overlooked you or made you feel worse? “I would have never let that happen,” is uttered or implied. Or an important other misses your emotional needs altogether and just focuses on themselves. When this invalidation or dismissal happens in a key relationship or two repeatedly over years, it can create a traum...

Have you ever gone to the emergency room? Have you ever thought of how emergency doctors face stress? Have you ever considered how an emergency doctor manages anxiety as part of their work life? Today, I’m sharing with you the interview with Dr. Mark Hoffman, M.D., a board certified emergency physician, with over 30 years of practice. It was a treat to hear from Dr. Hoffman on how he: Manages...

Can’t make up your mind about marrying your girlfriend or not? Can’t make up your mind about the TV you need to buy? Can’t make up your mind about staying or quitting your job? If the prospect of making a decision makes you feel overwhelmed and paralyzed, then you need to listen to this episode! In this episode, Dr. Sally Winston, Psy. D. and I discuss the processes behind making a decision and wh...

How often do you assume the worst-case-scenario when facing a difficult situation? When was the last time someone invited you to a party, and you started worrying about it months in advance? Do you stress about situations that have not happened yet? Anybody can learn how our minds work and how to work with them. When we are dealing with worries, anxieties, fears, we all play-it-safe. You might be...

This is part 2 of my interview with Todd Kashdan, Ph. D. Key Takeaways How to persuade others skillfully How intolerance and speed of uncertainty feed into rigid thinking The connection between persuasion skills and acceptance and commitment skills The difference between task-oriented problem solving and relationship problems What is cognitive diversity and how it plays in our group interactions H...

Have you ever played-it-safe by keeping your opinions to yourself? When was the last time you felt afraid of social rejection that you did not say what you really thought about a topic in fear of rocking the boat? How often do you play-it-safe by placating and going along with others' opinions so you are liked by others? Group thinking, agreeing quickly with others, avoiding sharing our opinions,...

Have you ever been caught in a spiral of self-criticism? When was the last time your inner critic took over your day?  We all have stories we’ve created about ourselves - some of them positive and some of them negative. If you suffer from low self-esteem, your story may include these types of narratives: “I’m a failure,” “I’ll never be able to do that,” or “if only I were smarter or more attr...

Resilience is usually understood as the process and the outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences (American Psychological Association (APA)) . In the information era, being exposed to all types of stressors is the norm and not the exception. We may struggle to learn how to deal with a world that moves fast, pressures us in many different directions, and a world...

60% of people dealing with depression are likely to be dealing with anxiety. If you're anxious, you are also likely to be depressed. In the case of fear-based struggles, it is much more common to struggle with different types of fears than a single one. So if you’re dealing with attacks, it’s also possible that you're dealing with chronic worry, or if you’re dealing with chronic worry, it’s also p...

Self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move . We criticize ourselves as a way to think that we're going to be able to control the situation, control ourselves, and control circumstances in order to feel safe. How does it really work for you when you spend hours and hours criticizing yourself? How does it really work when you try to motivate yourself by being harder and harder with yourself?&n...

Are you an overachiever? Some perfectionistic traits - e.g., being hardworking or paying attention to details - can be extremely handy. But what happens when you don’t do things in moderation and feel compelled to do more and more, do everything right, and avoid mistakes? In this episode, I chat with Clarissa Ong, Ph. D., about her work on perfectionism. We discussed in detail: The coherence trap...

To be human is to experience worry, fear, anxiety, and stress. To be human is to play-it-safe. But how do you handle those internal reactions when encountering life-threatening situations? What if being exposed to those unusual situations is part of your day-to-day life? Today, I share a special interview with Lance Morrison, former Captain Police Officer. You will hear different micro-skills Lanc...

This is a super special interview with one of my favorite colleagues and author, Jonathan Kaplan, author of “Urban Mindfulness.” In this conversation we discussed: One of Jonathan’s favorite mindfulness exercises: sending warm wishes to people around you Why playing-it-safe behaviors are natural What is a playing-it-safe move Two skills to distinguish effective playing-it-safe moves from ineffecti...

Subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Have you ever felt anxious when driving? Have you ever had a panic attack? Have you ever felt an unexpected tingling sensation in your arm? Do you know how it feels when running a marathon? Have you ever pushed your body beyond your limits? In all those scenarios, it’s quite likely you're going t...

In today’s episode of the Playing-It-Safe podcast, Dr. Z. and Lou Lasprugrato, MFT, discuss the various Acceptance and Commitment Skills (ACT) and how they apply to our day-to-day life. ACT skills are applicable not just for therapy or coaching but as a way of living life. At the end of the day, real change happens by taking action, one action after another.   What we discussed with Lou Laspr...

Michael P. Twohig, Ph. D. is the co-director of the ACT Research Group, a licensed psychologist in the state of Utah, and a Professor of Psychology at Utah State University. In this episode, I chat with Michael about his research on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) on perfectionism , we discuss in particular, one of the papers published in his lab: A randomized controlled trial of acceptanc...

Self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move . What are the harsh criticisms that your mind come up with? How do you handle them? Do you try to replace them with positive thoughts? Do you do more with your life? Do you try to prove yourself that you are an okay person? I ask all these questions to Dr. Christopher Willard, an expert on mindfulness and self-compassion. In my conversation with Ch...

Dealing effectively with anxiety and the discomfort that comes with it is a fundamental skill. It allows you to do what you care about and excel in life, especially when facing unfamiliar situations or unpleasant moments. In this episode, I interviewed Dr. Joel Minden. ​​He is the director of the Chico Center for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Diplomate of the Academy of Cognitive and Behavioral Ther...

Do you deeply care about what you do that you don't measure what it takes you to accomplish a goal? Are you a very conscientious person that struggles to do things that are not-good-enough? Are you super-committed to the projects you participate in that you forget to eat, sleep, or hang out with your friends at times? Are you often preoccupied with thoughts about "I must do well, otherwise I'm bad...

When you transition from high school to college – as it’s called in the United States – or to a University – as it’s called in other parts of the world, such as South America or Europe – you go through a significant life adjustment. As exciting as it is, there are also a lot of changes happening at once: you need to introduce yourself to new people, get adjusted to living at a different location,...

Today I have the pleasure to share an interview with Natasha Daniels, MFT, a mental health clinician, author, podcaster and founder of the community AT Parenting. In our conversation, Natasha and I talked about different playing-it-safe moves when dealing with the fear of social rejection or not fitting in with others. This is a raw and honest conversation about how Natasha navigated those fears w...

One way in which we play-it-safe is by delaying projects, tasks, and shooting for perfection. In this conversation, visual illustrator, Janis Ozolins, shares how he handles self-doubtful thoughts, perfectionist tendencies, and negative feedback when sharing his illustrations on his platform. It was special to hear from Janis how he, as a content creator, navigates the internal discomfort that come...