PLAYING-IT-SAFE

After a distraction, it takes an average of 23 minutes to return to the original task. Not because you're weak. Because your environment was built using the same behavioral principles as slot machines to pull your attention away from what matters. Final episode of the Anxious Procrastinator series, the neuroscience of focus and what committed action actually looks like when you bring everything to...

Accurately estimating how hard something will be requires sitting with the discomfort of its difficulty. And your mind would rather not. In this new episode of Playing-It-Safe we discussed the research on time, flow states, and four principles that actually work for overthinkers and overachievers. What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe? _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DE...

"I want to finish this project" sounds like moving toward something. But, underneath it is often "I'm terrified of what it means if I don't." New episode of Playing-It-Safe: the three goal traps and the research on what actually produces commitment, satisfaction, and follow-through. What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe? _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM...

Your mind has a highly convincing list of reasons why right now isn’t the right time. In this episode, we unpack why those excuses sound so incredibly rational, how your brain uses them to keep you safe (and stuck), and the one behavioral shift that actually moves you forward. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z...

Most high achievers believe being hard on themselves is what keeps them sharp. The research disagrees. People with higher self-compassion show greater motivation after failure, not less. And they procrastinate significantly less. New episode of the Playing-It-Safe Podcast: why the second arrow might be the thing most keeping you stuck. What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe? __...

External achievements account for only about 10% of lasting happiness. The 40% within your control? How you spend your time and what meaning you attach to it. New episode of the Playing-It-Safe Podcast: the research on values, meaning, and the birthday party exercise that shows you exactly where the gap is. What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe? _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MA...

Your mind isn't lazy! Researchers found that people who chronically procrastinate are more threat-sensitive. Not less motivated. What would you do this week if you weren't playing it safe? RESOURCES: Values-based Review: Life Audit _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist...

In this episode, Dr. Z. dives deep into the world of procrastination, debunking common myths, exploring the different types of procrastinators, and unpacking the psychological processes that fuel our tendency to delay. Debunking the Myths of Procrastination Many of us have internalized misconceptions about procrastination. Dr. Z. tackles these head-on, revealing that procrastination is rarely abou...

Today, I’m sharing with you a conversation with Dr. Mitchell Greene, Ph. D. In our chat, we dive deep into the psychology of goal-setting, attachment to goals, over-identification with one area of our life, peak performance, and mental resilience. When you’re taking a big exam, dealing with a work project, or participating in an important match, how do you manage your worries about your performanc...

In part 1 of my conversation with Monica Basco, Ph. D., Exploring the intersection of perfectionism, procrastination, and performance , we discussed the following topics: Perfectionism and high-achieving behaviors Understanding the impact of high goals The role of confidence in goal setting The intersection of perfectionism and procrastination In this second part of our conversation, Monica kindly...

Drop your standards! Let go of your perfectionistic tendencies! If I were paid a dollar every time I heard this message, I would have a large bank account by now. When you’re pursuing a top performance – from athletic to intellectual to artistic ones – it’s fundamental that you distinguish those common principles that improve your performance and your well-being altogether. In this episode, Brad S...

Perfectionism isn’t a personality quirk. It’s a pattern of reinforced behaviors that can seep into every aspect of your life. You may set certain standards for yourself, certain rules about how things are supposed to be or how you are supposed to behave; while you may meet those standards for a while, they eventually - and inevitably - fall short. Then, you feel crushed. Then, you criticize yourse...

Today’s episode takes off with discussing fears of driving. This is the starting point to discuss a key process within acceptance commitment therapy: values-based exposures. In this episode, you will learn the principles to approach your fears, worries, and anxieties in a flexible way and in the service of your values. Brian Thompson, Ph. D. and I covered different ACT skills such as defusion, val...

Ever catch yourself engaging in incessant mind chatter in a high-stakes situation? The kind that fills your head with self-doubt, comparisons, and anticipations of failure? You're not alone. We all do it. But what if there was a way to overcome these self-limiting beliefs and embrace life's challenges with confidence?  I had a chance to talk to Dr. Mitchell Greene, Ph. D. regarding performanc...

Picture this scenario: you encounter an ambiguous and uncertain situation, and then, of course, you quickly try to solve it. You anticipate all types of scenarios and try to prepare for each one of them, without realizing you are worrying and consumed with anxiety. Worry is primarily a thought-based process, and that’s what makes it tricky. Unpacking worry thoughts and distinguishing the unhelpful...

We all experience anxiety in some form, in some way, and in some shape. Because anxiety, fears, and worries can be so uncomfortable, we quickly play-it-safe. And when you’re prone to deeply caring for what you do - as high-achievers, strivers, and perfectionists - then the fears of being a failure or not being good enough are amplified. In this conversation, Annick Seys and I discussed the many la...

Do you find yourself anxiously anticipating rejection in everyday situations? The fear of being rejected or judged leads to a hyper-awareness of others' facial expressions, opinions, or anticipation of rejection. It’s like you’re expecting others will reject you and interpret a situation using those lenses. This interplay between rejection sensitivity and anxiety influences how you navigate your r...

Self-compassion is the willingness to respond to your pain and suffering in the same way a good friend of yours might–with warmth, patience, and understanding. That sounds easy, right? But you know it isn’t. For many, self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move. It’s like your mind is a champion at criticizing you in response to those moments in which you feel anxious about something that has...

It was a true pleasure to discover the work and passion of Sonya Looney; her enthusiasm, laughs, and insights are contagious! There are many golden nuggets in this conversation about skillfully managing comparison thoughts, rumination, self-doubt, shame, values-based strategies, and much more.  Key Takeaways The mindset of an athlete The upsides and downsides of over-preparing and over-workin...

This is part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Matthew McKay, Ph. D. In part 1, we discussed the foundations of how Dr. McKay thinks of process-based therapy. Today, we discuss, in particular, different mechanisms of action: What is attentional training How to look at your values when getting stressed How to practice acceptance  How to handle uncertainty How reassurance-seeking shows up in our da...

If anxiety is a part of our day to day life, if we hold on to the framework that to be human is to be anxious, how did anxiety ever become a problem? How do you go from worrying about not being good enough to chronic states of worry? How do you go from feeling uncomfortable taking the elevator to developing an elevator phobia? What maintains a psychological struggle? And what are the skills – the...

Do you remember last week when your mind was criticizing you and asking you to play-it-safe? Using Acceptance and Commitment Skills, you are always invited to bring awareness to your internal experiences, especially when you are feeling stuck in a habit or unhelpful behavioral patterns such as overthinking, procrastinating, or others. You are also invited to figure out your values and take action...

When was the last time you had a social mishap in a conversation? Do you remember how it feels to say the wrong thing at the wrong time? If you’re a shy person or are struggling with social anxiety or social perfectionism, you are holding onto the beliefs that you must sound smart, interesting, or funny; that there should never be awkward silences in conversations; that you shouldn’t stumble over...

Our minds are amazing at many, many things. Our minds are capable of remembering the birthday of the ones we love, calculating a budget for our next trip, thinking about our next writing project, and coming up with questions for a podcast. Our minds are also capable of ruminating, dwelling, coming up with strange thoughts, announcing all types of bad scenarios, and many more …why are our minds bot...

When was the last time you had an aha moment in which your next steps were clear? Do you remember how it is to be in the midst of a difficult situation, and then, have clarity of what you need to do? If you pay attention to your experiences, you may notice those aha moments in which your choices are clear - you will be able to clearly see what you are longing for or the changes you need to make in...