Play Therapy Parenting: Real Parenting Questions Answered by a Child Therapist

This is a continuation of the "Rules of Thumb" series [as taken from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Bratton & Landreth, 2019)] "Encourage the effort rather than praise the product". Encouragement is probably the most important tool in your parenting toolbox even though you probably don't use it! In this episode I talk about the difference between praise vs. encouragement, the difference betwee...

You will never know what your child is capable of unless you allow them to try!  I know it's hard to watch your child struggle with something, like opening lids on a jar, or tying their shoes, or trying to pack and lug around their sports bag, but did you know that when you constantly do things for your kids, you might be "programming" them for "learned incompetence" or "learned helplessness".  Th...

We are a month into summer... are your kids driving you nuts? It could be that you need to add some structure back into your kids lives to prevent behavior issues. In this episode, I talk to you about the importance of structure and schedule in kid's lives, I give you a quick tip for the top 3 causes of behavior problems, and finally, why summer scheduling and structure is important for adults als...

This is a continuation of the "Rules of Thumb" series from the Child-Parent Relationship Therapy curriculum, which is the core training used in my In-Home Play Therapy program. "You can't give away what you do not possess." is a reminder that you need to be good to yourself as a parent, in order to grant patience, acceptance, and grace to your kids.   References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochr...

Another Memorial Day weekend observation... I couldn't believe how many families were at our hotel (poolside, restaurant, lobby, etc.) all ignoring each other, with their faces glued to their "Digital Pacifiers!" The use by both adults and children was alarming. We need to be aware of how much screen time our children have, and realize how badly it is damaging the relationship we have with our kid...

While my family was on a weekend getaway over Memorial Day weekend, I couldn't help but do some people watching while I was sitting by the pool, reading a book. I witnessed a perfect example of why it's futile to reason with a kid (a 4 year old, at that!) In this episode, I explore this concept of kids not having reasoning skills, how trying to reason with them often escalates the situation, and h...

"We are certain to make mistakes, but we can recover. It is how we handle our mistakes that makes the difference." This is such a great rule-of-thumb from the Child-Parent Relationship Therapy training that is the curriculum in my In-Home Play Therapy program. In this episode I talk about how if your relationship with your kids is broken somehow, that you need to fix it. When you do, you are model...

This is my 50th episode! I'm so grateful to my podcast listeners. In this episode, I'm looking back on my week's observation of the "Parenting Journey". Parenting is full of ups and downs, but we are all united in a goal of being the best parent we can be. We want happy kids and a happy family, and I'm honored that you spend time with me and that I'm a small part of your parenting journey.

One of the most important things we can do for our kids to cherish the relationship that we have with them. In this episode, I talk about a Rule of Thumb from the Child-Parent Relationship Training, "Focus on the Donut, Not the Hole." We look at the importance of putting our attention on the good that exists already, spending the time necessary to build the connection, and why the relationship lea...

In this episode of the podcast, I talk about the natural consequence of child behavior. There are three points that I'd like to share with you regarding natural consequences. The first is that children are not rational. Next is that the natural consequence is different than discipline or punishment. Finally, when a child is given the opportunity to deal with the natural consequence of their behavi...

One of the "Rules of Thumb" that we teach you in the In-Home Play Therapy program is this concept of "When a child is drowning, don't try to teach them to swim." In this podcast, I discuss why it is so important to remember that children don't have abstract reasoning skill until starting about 12. So "teaching a lesson" in the middle of an emotional moment for your child is absolutely futile... yo...

We all know that therapy is beneficial and that positive change is associated with the process. But what can you count on in terms of areas of growth when a child participates in play therapy? There are four universal outcomes of play therapy, regardless of what the child is dealing with when they begin. In this episode, I unpack each of the four outcomes and help you understand why growth in thes...

Often people assume that if talk therapy works with adults, it should work with kids, too. But have you ever asked your child a question about how they feel or why they did something and gotten, "I don't know" or a blank stare with a shrug? In this episode, I talk about how adults compartmentalize their lives into boxes. But children feel everything and their lives are a big tangle of emotions. I...

Do you know what your kids are doing on social media? Do you REALLY know? I work with a lot of pre-teens and teens every week, with debilitating personal issues. One of the common threads I see is social media use. If you really care about your kids, it's time to stop being passive, and start taking a more active role in supervising what your kids are doing on their devices.

Cutting: What You Need to Know as a Parent. Why kids are doing it. How they are finding out about it. How they are hiding it. How they are sharing it. What you can do about it.

You probably haven't heard many people talking about how badly our kids are absorbing the "adult response to the coronavirus". No one is really addressing it. The phones at my office are ringing off the hook with desperate parents trying to get help for their anxious kids. In this podcast, I talk about the problem, share three examples of what anxiety does to kids, and how you can effectively resp...

Often one of the underlying causes of emotional and behavioral struggles is that who the child wants to be (their "ideal self") is very different from who they are (their "actual self"). In this podcast exclusive, I share what happens in the playroom when a child is ready to bridge the gap between their actual and ideal self.

Parents are often concerned when children express angry or aggressive behavior. In this podcast exclusive I discuss how parents can recognize the deeper emotions driving the angry, aggressive behavior. Once you understand why kids default to anger, you will be able to respond in a way that helps them express their vulnerability and develop an emotional vocabulary.

Have you ever wondered if all the work you put into learning how to be a good parent is paying off? Have you noticed that the more consistent you are with applying your parenting skills, that you surprise yourself by how well you handle behavior situations with your kids? In this episode, I tell the story about how I noticed a parallel between something I have been personally training for, and how...

Are you setting goals or resolutions for the new year? If so, is one to create a better relationship with your kids? Or to parent in a kinder way? In this episode, I share two main goals for 2021 that can start you off on the right foot in how you interact with your kids. If you just want to put 2020 behind you because of guilt over the way you handled parenting moments, then stick with me this ye...

Are you loving your kids in the way that they feel love? You might be completely wasting your efforts in showing love to your kids, unless you are speaking their "language!" In this episode, I introduce you to the 5 Love Languages of Kids, so that you can know for sure that your kids feel loved by you.

We know that kids don't come with an instruction manual and parenting doesn't have a road map. That often leaves us confused, defeated, frustrated, and ashamed of our failures. It doesn't have to be that way! This episode highlights a question that I ask myself almost on a daily basis, and gives the key that opens the door to freedom from guilt, shame, and blame. 

Is your child's behavior at school creating stress and anxiety in your family? Do you fear daily reports from the teacher? Are you unsure how to handle what's going on when you talk to the teacher or staff? I've helped many families navigate this issue in my private practice. When there are struggles at school, you have to address them directly. Use these simple tips to prepare you so that you fee...

Have you ever felt helpless to handle your children's anxiety and worries? Have you tried things that didn't seem to help? Do you want nothing more than to see your kids happy and worry free? With the sharp increase in child anxiety levels this year, it's important to have effective tools to help manage this struggle. In this second part of this two-part series, you get practical skills to reduce...

Do you wonder if some of your children's behaviors are related to anxiety? Have you seen an increase in big emotions, worry, fear, or confusion? Is one of the unforeseen fallouts of 2020 that our kids are experiencing increased anxiety? If the phone calls to my office are an indicator, this is the new childhood epidemic of this year. This is the first of a two-part series on recognizing anxiety in...