Play Therapy Parenting: Real Parenting Questions Answered by a Child Therapist

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom who feels like she's constantly butting heads with her ten-year-old daughter. We talk about why the preteen years often bring a strong desire for independence, how to balance growing autonomy with healthy boundaries, and why behaviors like arguing, disrespect, and constantly saying, "You're not the boss of me," are often signs of a child trying to fi...

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose five-year-old daughter seems to be caught in constant power struggles despite receiving choices throughout the day. We explore why some children continue to demand control even when parents are using child-centered strategies, and I explain the important difference between simply giving children choices and giving them meaningful choices that m...

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose seven-year-old daughter has struggled with pee withholding since potty training. We explore why toileting challenges are often about much more than the bathroom, including how control, anxiety, and emotional patterns can become deeply ingrained over time. I explain why children sometimes hold onto control in unexpected ways and how understandin...

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom who is worried about the relationship between her four-year-old son and his younger brother. If you've ever wondered whether sibling rivalry, rough play, jealousy, or competition between siblings is normal, you're not alone. I explain some of the common dynamics that naturally emerge between siblings who are close in age, including power struggles, b...

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose daughter witnessed the death of her father at a very young age. Now that her daughter is older, she's wondering how that experience may still be affecting her development, emotions, and behavior. I explain how children remember traumatic events differently than adults do, why early experiences can continue to influence a child years later, and...

In the first Q&A episode of Season 4, I answer a thoughtful question from a mom who is trying to help her eight-year-old daughter develop internal motivation for everyday responsibilities. We explore the difference between external rewards and the child-centered concept of choice giving, and why many parents misunderstand what choices are actually designed to accomplish. I explain how choices retu...

In this final episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I reflect on why this season has mattered so much to me and to the field of child-centered play therapy. Parents are a crucial part of a child's healing journey, and one of our greatest goals is helping parents feel equipped to understand what their children need, how to communicate with them effectively, and how to support the...

In this episode, I answer a question from an adoptive mom whose three-year-old becomes extremely dysregulated before and after exciting events like family camp, theme parks, or outings. I explain why children who crave stability and predictability can become emotionally overwhelmed when routines, environments, and expectations suddenly change—even when the experience itself is positive and enjoyab...

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I answer a common question parents ask: "How can play therapy help if nothing in my child's environment is changing?" I explain why child-centered play therapy is effective even when difficult circumstances remain the same. The goal of CCPT is not to control the environment or force other people to change—it's to help the child devel...

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about one of the biggest fears parents have after things begin improving: "What if we go backwards?" When life becomes calmer and more regulated, many parents worry that their child could suddenly return to the same level of anxiety, aggression, or emotional chaos they experienced before therapy. I explain why that fear is und...

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose child is currently in play therapy and making great progress, but who is also considering adding occupational therapy. I explain why we have to be thoughtful anytime we add multiple therapies into a child's schedule. Therapy of any kind is hard work for kids—emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically—and it's easy for children to become ov...

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain one of the most important shifts that happens for children in the play therapy process—the change in their internal dialogue. Many children start with a fear-based mindset that sounds like "oh no, what if," where they feel powerless, overwhelmed, and unsure they can handle what might happen. This often shows up as anxiety,...

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain why a child's growth and healing process is not linear, even though we often expect it to be. As adults, we tend to think in straight lines—progress should move steadily forward. But children don't think or process that way. As they work through emotions and experiences, their path looks much more like a roller coaster, wit...

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom about her child taking things that don't belong to her. I explain that while this behavior can feel alarming, it is actually very common in childhood and is usually tied to development, impulse, and a child's desire to meet a need in the moment. Children often understand that taking things is wrong, but they don't yet have the ability to reason throu...

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I introduce a visual way to understand your child's behavior before and after child-centered play therapy — what I call The Wave Model: From Tsunami to Tide. Before children develop the skills to regulate, communicate, and make sense of their emotions, their behavior often shows up in extremes. The highs are very high, the lows are v...

In this episode, I explain the concept of the pendulum swing and why it is such an important picture for understanding what happens in child-centered play therapy. When children have felt powerless in everyday life, the permissive playroom gives them a chance to experience the opposite. They are allowed to take charge, make decisions, and even swing all the way into dictatorial power. That can loo...

In this episode, I explain the concept of the anger iceberg and how it completely changes the way we understand our children's behavior. What we see on the surface—yelling, hitting, defiance, aggression—is often just a small piece of what's actually going on. Underneath that anger is something much bigger: hurt, disappointment, fear, frustration, or overwhelm. Kids don't choose anger because it's...

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I walk you through how birth order shapes your child's personality—and why that matters more than most parents realize. I explain the common tendencies of oldest, middle, and youngest children, and how the dynamics between siblings influence behavior, motivation, and relationships. When you understand birth order, so many things star...

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain one of the most important mindset shifts we can make as parents: behavior is communication. When children don't yet have an emotional vocabulary, they can't tell us what they're feeling—they have to show us. That's why big emotions often come out as tantrums, aggression, or seemingly irrational behavior. What looks like "mi...

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about self-esteem, the seventh and final common issue that often brings children into child-centered play therapy. Self-esteem isn't something children are born with—it develops over time as they begin to understand who they are and what they are capable of. When a child struggles with self-esteem, you often see hesitation, se...

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom who is trying to decide whether to pursue an ADHD evaluation for her six-year-old while he is already in play therapy. I walk through the larger issue many parents face — the pressure to evaluate, diagnose, and medicate quickly — and how that differs from a child-centered approach that looks at the whole child first. I explain why behavior should nev...

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about relational issues — when children struggle socially, don't seem to connect with peers, or have difficulty maintaining friendships. I explain that these struggles are often rooted in a lack of identity or self-concept. When a child doesn't know who they are, they try on different roles from day to day, which makes it hard...

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about aggression — one of the most common concerns that brings children into child-centered play therapy. I explain that aggression is usually rooted in one of two things: dysregulation combined with a lack of emotional vocabulary, or a mask for vulnerability. When children don't have the words for what they're feeling and don...

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about internalizing behaviors and how they often go unnoticed because these kids keep everything inside. Internalizing children feel just as deeply as externalizing children, but instead of showing their distress outwardly, they stuff it. Over time, that stored-up emotion builds tension until it finally breaks through in a flo...

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain externalizing behaviors — what they are, why they happen, and how child-centered play therapy helps. Externalizing kids show their distress outwardly through behaviors like yelling, hitting, throwing, running, or melting down. These children are big feelers with intense internal experiences, and their behavior is their way...