Play Therapy Parenting: Real Parenting Questions Answered by a Child Therapist

Empathy is learned. Kids aren't born with it, and they mainly learn it by observing adults displaying empathy.  We want our kids to show empathy when it's appropriate. Being kind and compassionate to others is a good character trait.  In this episode, I talk about how kids develop empathy, how abstract reasoning plays into empathy development, and I explain a psychology term called "other orientat...

I was listening to a business podcast this week, and a successful Mom/CEO said this quote when asked how she overcomes "Mom Guilt" as she runs a multi-million dollar business, while juggling being a mom. She said "Kids don't count the hours that you're with them, but they do notice if you're present." And the truth of that quote jumped out at me, and made me take notice. I immediately related it t...

Have you ever told your child something about them that you know to be true, but they just don't believe it themselves? They could be smart, athletic, funny, etc. But they may have something emotional happening that makes them believe otherwise. In this episode I share some advice about children that was given to me years ago, but impacts what I believe about kids to this day. Three points I make...

Do you often find yourself having to "step in" to control your child's behavior? In today's episode, I'm going to try to change your thinking about discipline. The goal of discipline is "self-regulation" on the part of the child. Otherwise, some children "keep pushing" until someone regulates for them. Wouldn't it be better if your child learned to self-regulate, instead of you having to regulate...

When parents realize that kids need a different type of communication, it changes the way you interact with them. I discuss three sub-topics: kids are emotional, they do not have abstract reasoning skills yet, and how concrete "parameters" within conversations are developmentally appropriate, and will pull more than one-word answers out of your kids.

This episode continues my parenting "Rules of thumb" series [as taken from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Bratton & Landreth, 2019)] "When you focus on the problem, you lose sight of the child" is an important guideline to remember when dealing with parenting moments. We'll talk about how the "quick fix mentality" is not the best way to view solutions to parenting issues. I also discuss the fo...

Have you heard the (true) story of the little girl that went out every morning to get the mail, and the mailman greeted her with "Hello, Miss America!" She ended up winning the Miss America pageant. We don't understand the power that words, phrases, and expressions have on people's lives unless we understand the "magic" of self-fulfilling prophecy. This is especially true of how it affects kids......

In this episode, a research study referenced on psypost.org caught my eye and I wanted to share it and talk about how it reflects what I see in the playroom at my practice and my interaction with parents. In the research they make three points. First that executive functioning is compromised. I explain what that means and how it affects kids. Next, how parental responsiveness influences outcomes....

In thinking about New Year's changes, or things you want to change in this upcoming year, I want to caution you about changing too much at once! "Don't Try To Change Everything At Once" is another episode in my "Rules of Thumb" series [as taken from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Bratton & Landreth, 2019)]. When thinking about change in parenting or families, I often illustrate this concept us...

Stop beating yourself up over things that you don't know! In this episode, I go over a concept that I call the "Parenting Prison". I'll explain what that is and how to get out. Next I discuss that there is no guilt or blame in not knowing something. Our parenting is often passed down through generational cycles, so I discuss how this relates to the Parenting Prison. Finally, there is freedom in th...

I read an article that reinforces, from a medical standpoint, that social media is really harmful for our kids. A callout from the article: "Turns out the poorly regulated, 24-hour content mill of being Extremely Online is really threatening to our mental health!" I already knew this, but what is alarming is that the influences are going beyond mental health... social media (and this case, specifi...

Did you have to take a career class... in middle school?  Did you learn pre-algebra... in 6th grade? In this episode, I'm exploring the question: Are schools pushing kids too far, too fast? First, I read a letter from my son's school that was the spark for this episode topic. Then I talk about what I'm calling the "separation of home and state". And finally, I end with a topic that I'm calling the...

In this episode, I'm diving into Birth Order, and how that affects your children's personalities. I'm going to spend a little time on only children, in particular, but I do give an overview of first, middle, and babies of the family, so this episode has some great content if you have any number of children! My three main topics in this podcast are: the universal norms of birth order, what role-rev...

Increased screen use in school, homework load, and lack of time to just play. We have always monitored our son's schooling, but this year, in his transition to middle-school, my husband and I were alarmed at how school was taking over our lives. I'm not trying to convince anyone to homeschool in this episode.  There's important information in this podcast for all parents... homeschoolers, those th...

Do you say "Good job"? "That's what happens when..."? "If you do that again..."? I found a parents.com blog post titled "10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids", and I compare several of the "things" in this post to my 2011 post titled "10 Things Not To Say To Your Kids".   Links from this episode: 10 Things Not to Say to Your Kids The Four "Pillars" of Play Therapy

Have you ever second-guessed yourself as a parent? Do you ever feel like you are not as successful as you want to be in your parenting? In this episode we look at three common "red flags" that might make you think you're failing, but are actually an indicator of success!

Do you wonder if your parenting style is helpful or harmful to your children's long-term well being? In this episode, we look at the characteristics of the Authoritative Parenting Style, which is categorized by high levels of both demandingness and responsiveness. We discuss the characteristics of authoritative parenting, the outcomes it produces in children, and a contrast with the other parentin...

If you have a young child between, say, 5 and 11, you've probably heard something shocking come out of their mouth like "I hate my life", or "I wish I were never born". In this episode of the podcast, I talk about how most parents respond in one of three ways. Then I discuss how to discover the emotion behind what they are saying and why that is the most important step in dealing with this. Finall...

If you follow this podcast, you know that I teach fundamentals and foundational parenting skills from a play therapy perspective. I do like to keep my "finger on the pulse" of parenting, and I search what's going on in the parenting world every so often. For a long time I have noticed that the posts that get the most attention (or at least that are at the top of search results for parenting) are "...

In this episode, I discuss a story about a Dad that does something "revolutionary"... he tried something new to help his son's tantrums and meltdowns.

Are you concerned that your kids spend too much time on devices? Do you wonder if there's a happy medium between no enough and too much? In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I discuss these questions, plus... The America Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) guidelines for device usage by age, How to track how much device time your child is actually getting each day, and I give you a practical tool...

In this episode I talk about my own "Field of Dreams" story. If you know me well, you'd know that I'm a huge baseball fan, and recently, the "Field of Dreams" game was played between the Yankees and White Sox played on the corn field from the movie. It reminded me that I'm in my own "Build it and they will come" moment in my life and business.

This is a special episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast. I was invited to give a training/presentation to the 300, or so, school and guidance counselors from the Hillsborough County School System on Play Therapy techniques. So during this hour training, they were exposed to the philosophies and principles of play therapy, the "4 Pillars of Play Therapy", and then some bonus topics, includi...

I wonder how often you get frustrated when your child responds with one-word answers. (See what I did there?) Using "I wonder" statements with your children is one of the greatest techniques that play therapists use to interact with kids on their emotional level to bring out meaningful responses. In this episode, I explore the topics of questions vs. statements, "if you know enough to ask a questi...

In this episode, I comment on a blog post I saw on todaysparent.com that I couldn't ignore. "I love my kids, but I don't like parenting—and I know I'm not alone".  So I'll unpack my thoughts on that by first exploring my opinion that many parents may feel like this because they are not properly equipped. Second, I explore how our reality as parents and our expectations as parents might be too dive...