Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique

Pitney's dog Joxer had a lot of fun running around the room while we recorded this week's episode. Hope you like puppy noises! Pitney went to Candytopia with some friends and swam in a sea of marshmallows! Amelia recalls a ridiculous business where people pay money to take photos of themselves. Really. It's a thing. Pitney tells a story of random angry women yelling in public, which is one of his...

Ah, Podcoin, we hardly knew ye. So, this is really for the people who listen to us on Podcoin, but the rest of you might want to hear it, because it's goofy as hell. The couple hundred of you who subscribed on Podcoin were loyal and awesome and we're really sorry that app is kaput in about a week, but we're hoping you hear this before it's all over! Please come find us on, like, ANY OTHER PODCAST...

Remember when The Fabulous Steve was here? Well, we chatted with him about the days of personal ads, and how low-tech things were compared to the hookup apps of today. Pitney said he'd never used any of those apps and was pretty adamant about it. Then suddenly, his inner sex monster awakened and his phone was burning up with Grindr and Scruff! I know you want to hear why he says Grindr is the "arm...

Itching for more horror content? Well, mark your calendars, because ALL THE HORROR 2019 IS COMING! Sometimes horror movies come out that modern pagans are afraid will tarnish their reputations. Midsommar was one of those movies. But Pitney saw it and it's totally fine. Weird and freaky, but not offensive to his Wiccan sensibilities! Hear what he thought about its creepy themes and supposedly femin...

Have you ever felt like you don't belong? Nerds feel that way a lot. But what if the fandom you're into isn't into you? Or what if you love a band/movie/show/etc but can't get down with the other fans because you're not extreme enough? This week, we talk about not fitting in with superfans. Vaginal flora! It could save your life! Learn all about your junk's awesome bacterial colony. Promo: #AllThe...

It's another episode featuring The Fabulous Steve! This week, Pitney and Steve tell Amelia stories about the fun they had at the Kerrville Folk Festival. Imagine camping in 100 degree weather for weeks on a ranch. Amelia CANNOT. I mean, the toilet situation alone! Would you go to a music festival if you weren't interested in the music? Pitney almost never pays attention to the music at KFF, and he...

(Go listen to our last episode if you didn't hear the first part of When Friendship Ends Ugly. We'll still be here when you're done.) This week picks up where last week left off, after Amelia talked about using a guided meditation to help her say goodbye to the friend who dumped her, with more talk about the usefulness of those sorts of recordings. Then, of course, we talk about guided meditations...

Pardon the background noise in this episode. Amelia drove down to San Antonio to hang with Pitney and a bunch of doggies, and we recorded a long conversation that's going to stretch out over two episodes! (Sorry things cut off so abruptly there at the end of this one!) Pitney hosted a Litha gathering at his house on the night of the Solstice, so we talked a bit about writing rituals and what an ou...

Happy Pride, y'all! It's the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, which were just shy of a month before Amelia was born! COINCIDENCE? To celebrate that bit of LGBTQ history, we'd like to share some of our own history, with our good friend The Fabulous Steve! Steve lived it up in the 1970s and 1980s, and we recorded hours and hours of conversation with him. (Much of it will be featured in futur...

Pitney recounts a funny article on the 2 Skeptical Chaps Facebook page (you really should be following them!), which kicks off a discussion about the types of bumper stickers that idiots put on their cars. Then Amelia vents about how nobody knows how to drive any more. Do people still take driver's ed? Because they sure don't act like it. Also, a quick story about the disgusting hovel where Tricia...

It's the third anniversary of our first episode! We're amazed we're still here, and we've got all of you to thank for that. Drop us a line so we can thank you individually! This week we're talking about addiction. We've mentioned before that Pitney has had some battles with alcoholism over the years, and Amelia was a problem pill popper. We're going to tell you about all of it. What it's like to b...

It's that time of year again: Our TEXAS FRIGHTMARE WEEKEND SPECIAL! As always, we recorded in the car on the drive home from Dallas, and reminisced about the great time we had at Texas Frightmare Weekend. Hear all about us meeting Tim Curry (yes, THE Tim Curry) and how amazing the con staff was at handling the enormous crowds who showed up to get a glimpse of his greatness, and some crazy stories...

First up, have you heard of the new Podcoin app? It's pretty damn cool. Sign up using our special code, BITCHENPOD, and start your account with 300 coins! Then every time you listen to our podcast (or anyone else's), more coins! And during weeks when we're designated as a "bonus" podcast, you can earn those coins at an even faster rate, then cash em in later to buy gift cards or donate to charity....

We did it. We finally watched the Leaving NeverLand documentary. We weren't sure how it would affect us, but it definitely changed our minds about a lot. Some things, though, haven't changed a bit. Hear our history with Michael and the Jackson 5, the music and the hoopla; our opinions about past allegations and where we sit now with the history of the families damaged by the desire to be close to...

Pitney and Amelia and flora and fauna. Amelia likes nature, as long as it's not too natural. Pitney's Easter lily has been resurrected from the dead, in fulfillment of the scriptures. Amelia wants people to stop giving her orchids. Pitney wants all sunlight to be banished from his home. This episode's YOTV segment actually features Pitney. He saw a coochie once, and it scarred him for life. Amelia...

We had a whole show ready to go, and then Amelia had to be rushed to the emergency room in an ambulance! Of course we had to quickly record her telling Pitney all about it. So the first 30 minutes of the show were tacked on at the last minute. (Sorry the sound is a little tinny on this segment. And the rest was recorded over Skype. We make do when it's not ideal!) Pitney accidentally offends the o...

This week we tend to hover around the crotch area. We swear it wasn't intentional. First up, Amelia shares the story of a weird chocolate treat with Pitney. Edible anuses. Yep, that's right. Then Pitney brings up the insane and splattery idea of enema-themed performance art, which reminds Amelia of the time Annie Sprinkle toured the country inviting audiences to view her cervix. You already know P...

Continuing our discussion of happy memories, we venture into our nerdy pasts! Amelia's first convention was TimeCon '84 in San Jose, California, which was an epic event for numerous reasons, but her fondest memories of that weekend all involve Jon Pertwee, star of Doctor Who from 1970 to 1974. He was incredibly kind to dorky, fifteen year old Amelia, ad she's got stories (and a cherished photo) to...

Lots of happy memories in this week's episode! Amelia took her dad to a big Star Trek event where William Shatner did a Q&A. Hear all about where she gets her love of all things Trekkie. Pitney recalls a rare happy memory of his father. (If you remember, his father was pretty scary. Check out our episode about the Mafia for more information about him!) Amelia and her mom and their love of Little S...

Riding a scooter around a Walmart parking lot drinking wine out of a Pringles can at 6:30am? Sounds like a great way to start a show! Amelia really gets perturbed when someone swipes through her photos on her phone without permission, and also how dare you assume she wants your dog to run at her dog just because you think your dog is nice. Pitney goes on yet another rant about how disgusted he is...

First up, a promo for a special series of segments for 2019: The Year of the Vagina! Have you ever been in therapy? Have you ever been treated for a mental illness? Do you think you might need help? We know all about that. Hear Pitney and Amelia discussing their experiences with depression, anxiety, anger issues, and addiction. It's not the first time we've talked about this stuff, and it won't be...

We're going LIVE on December 31st to ring in 2019 and celebrate our first 10,000 downloads! Hang out with us on Facebook Live starting at 10pm CST. Like our FB page and join our FB group to get all the latest info. (Details below.) This year for Christmas we're exploring some corners of Europe whose traditions made us cringe and/or laugh. Learn all about the caganer, a vital part of any classy nat...

This week brings more of the exquisite bitchiness you've come to expect from us. We complain about how weirdly strict some copyright laws are, our hatred of giant pickup trucks (and other douchemobiles), and the idiots that drive them. Then Pitney shares a story about a weirdo who yelled homophobic slurs at him at Target, and we chat about how fabulous shopping at the mall can be. As of this week,...

(Yes, we went with another sequel title. We're gonna keep it up until we completely run out of ideas!) A very happy Thanksgiving to our American listeners, and to everyone else, a reasonably good but unimportant Thursday in late November. Once again, Pitney and Amelia talk about their gratitude for things that make them happy, such as: Food additives! The joy of righteous anger! Finding out a big-...

It's almost Thanksgiving, so we offer a bounty of the sort of ridiculous and rambling conversation you expect from us! Abandoned birthday cake, horrid song lyrics, loud neighbor fights, the Cassidy brothers, Pitney's aversion to ugliness, the pain of pleurisy, stylish terrycloth short sets, window shopping via catalog, the glory of the station wagon, family vacations, Disney nightmares, and Harry...