Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique

This week we're talking tarot! Learn how tarot can be a useful tool, even for non-believers like Amelia. Learn about the structure of the tarot deck (major and minor arcana, suits, court cards), and how card meanings work based on their position and the intuition of the reader. Also, we discuss weird public perceptions of what tarot is about, and how to choose a deck that will work for you. And, a...

This week, Pitney and Amelia talk about exciting careers we could have had if only we'd made more of an effort. Or any effort at all, in Amelia's case. Then some talk about learning to type sends us on a tangent about a favorite KISS album, which reminds Pitney how he and Tricia Von Liechtenstein met. And this week in woo, Amelia discovers "flower essences." You MUST watch the video that inspired...

After a quick bit of catching up, Pitney and Amelia talk about Hamilton hot takes and how it's not necessary to announce to the world that you don't like a thing. All fandoms have this problem, but jeez people, just because someone likes a thing you don't like doesn't mean that person is WRONG. What can make or break a cast album. Memories of cute drag queens from back in the day. Has Amelia ever...

Mmmmmm leftovers! This week we dug to the back of the freezer to pull out a few things that didn't quite fit into other recent shows. Like just how much Skyrim Pitney REALLY plays. Amelia reading an excerpt from Jenna Jameson's memoir to see if Pitney can guess which celebrity about whom she was spilling some rather interesting sexual tea. Then a bit of cattiness about some Rush superfans. And fin...

Happy Pride, everyone! This week we're teaching the kids about the fight for LGBTQ rights from the 60s through today, and how important protests have always been to this country. Stonewall, the White Night riots, ACT UP, all the way through today, when existing rights are being stripped; Pride has never been just a parade. And we owe the BLM movement our participation, because none of us are free...

HERE, QUEER, AND IN YOUR EAR -- NEW PRIDE GOODIES IN OUR ZAZZLE SHOP!PRIDE  PROCEEDS GO TO THE ACLU! Amelia finally got to have her rescheduled hysterectomy! Hear all about the COVID precautions and protocols, cool tiny robots, and what it's like to find out you've been walking around with a freakishly gigantic uterus all your life. Somehow, while surfing the internet, an article about Wayne Newto...

Our regular episode will come a little late this week. For right now, this is PODCAST BLACKOUT. We may not be able to do a lot, but we can do this. Here are a couple quick videos to get you thinking, and some good stuff to read. Hopefully after this, you'll be ready to do some googling! Are you racist? 'No' isn't a good enough answer. Inside the Mind of White America Showing Up for Racial Justice ...

This week's episode has a healthy dose of the cattiness that we are known for! Explore the stinky bowels of Twitter as Amelia recounts her adventures with a couple of 20-something know it alls. Pitney and the Fabulous Steve are at it again, making fun of people, the President and reminiscing about how shopping malls used to be. And any fashion tips that are mentioned in that clip... please ignore...

First of all, you need to know that Pitney's mother's house has no air conditioning, so he often records with the window open. Hence the occasionally really loud wind chimes. Reality is, like, so real. This week we are all about sharing our genius with you! Get ready to learn the proper way to use a plunger, the best way to clear a drain, the most creative ways to decorate your home on the cheap,...

We swear we aren't TRYING to do a bunch of shows about the coronavirus, but we talk about our lives, so there it is. We touch a bit on quarantine life and being "essential." We wonder how long it might take to get back to normal, and what normal even is any more. We get philosophical about interconnectedness and wonder if the earth is knocking us down and resetting herself a little bit. Meanwhile,...

Ever have commercials that just irritate the bejesus of out you? Well, we do too! Hear all about them on this latest episode of the BitchenBoutique! Learn all about how ultra-fans worship fictitious characters, and how Pitney and Amelia are coping with health challenges, and the weirdness of the world in general. Blue liquid for urine?? Nothing is too taboo for us! Listen to the newest episode of...

Break from the real world for an hour this week and learn all about Amelia's hair dyeing adventures! Pitney also reminisces about having hair and being a truly awful, yet chronic, hair dyer. Dogs are funny critters with some very strange poop habits, and we sure do know about that. Travel with Pitney to Pantheacon, the wonderful and fabulous annual Pagan convention in the SF Bay area and learn all...

(Did you download the show on day one? you might have gotten only half of it. Please download again!)   What a crazy week it's been out there in the real world! But you're getting a whole 'nuther kind of crazy on this episode. Pitney quit his job, Amelia was all excited about her upcoming trip to London, and Pitney suddenly has issues with the British but loves suicide cults for some reason. And t...

Welcome to episode 100 of the Bitchen Boutique! We can hardly believe it ourselves. This week, a couple of whiny twins who want us to believe they don't know which twin they are. Amelia isn't buying it. And we break down a list of reasons why some guy claims he "left the New Age." And in the Year of Woo, we talk about Amanda Chantal Bacon, the utterly woowoo founder of Moon Juice. Be sure to check...

Emotional abuse. How to spot it and how to deal with it. Setting boundaries to protect yourself. Amelia has had a rough time in recent months, and she's telling you how she put a stop to being used and abused. She also talks about metta, the Buddhist practice of loving kindness and compassion, and how it's kept her from being consumed with anger through all of this! And in the middle of it all, Pi...

The Fabulous Steve is BACK, and we've saved his best stories for last! Highlights: Tim Curry live in concert. Maurice Chevalier was a creep. Singin in the Rain was a masterpiece. MGM ruined people. Amelia's mildewed theater program collection. Steve and Pitney and Jerry Herman and Lauren Bacall and Carol Channing. Shelling out big bucks for Hamilton. Peter O'Toole on the West End. Noises Off and t...

We apologize for the sound mix in this episode. We're on a new learning curve. Bear with us. This week, we're talking Netflix's Dracula and a story about Lestat and Louis that only Pitney could tell. Then a review of The Witcher and whether or not Henry Cavill is hot. The answer might surprise you! Pitney gets hit on by a human toilet. And Amelia has a bad case of the sniffles. Plus, a new page in...

(The sound is off. Apologies. Also, Amelia has cedar fever, so excuse her stuffy nose.) Happy New Year! This is the last episode Pitney recorded in Texas. A couple days after this, he loaded up the truck and moved back to California! Hear us talk about the experience of packing up your life and going home, what he's excited about and what he's leaving behind. Within all that, though, there's some...

The Year of the Vagina is at an end. We have compiled all 26 segments, from Yay Therapy through Dreaming of a Black Christmas, into a bonus episode as a gift to you. Please be sure to share this 90 minute bit of edutainment with your friends! Quick note: There is a SECRET CODE WORD tucked away in this episode. When you hear it, put it in an email and send it to PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com . One luck...

Happy Holidays! Celebrate a low-key Christmas with us as we talk about the Black Christmas reboot and a bunch of weird Christmas facts Pitney found on the internet. (For example, did you know that some devout Christians once made celebrating Christmas ILLEGAL? Oh, Christians. You so silly.) This episode features the first chapter of Pitney's New Life Diary, and the very last installment of the Yea...

2019 is almost over, y'all! When we recorded this episode, Pitney was gearing up for his big move back to San Jose, CA. We talk about new segments being planned for the new year, audiodramas Pitney is excited to listen to in the car, a magic wand made with rubies, and a computer programmer who won't leave Amelia alone. Our last guest segment for the Year of the Vagina comes to us from the ladies a...

Happy Thanksgiving! Once again, we're here to talk about gratitude, and list some things we're extra grateful for this year. We're also gonna tell you about what next year's theme will be, so you don't want to miss that! And in Year of the Vagina news, pubic hair. It's awesome. Shoutouts to @DavidMillsDept and @BlaineStewart!   Promos: FriGay the 13th   and 2 Skeptical Chaps (Want to swap show pro...

Pitney finally saw the Child's Play remake and boy does he have thoughts. Neither of us saw the new Joker movie, and boy do we have thoughts. The whole Batman universe? Thoughts. Movies that suck? Guess what. More thoughts. Ladies, you have more power in your vagina than you knew. Behold the power to control men's minds and turn them into zombie slaves. Promo: 2 Girls on a Bench (Want to swap show...

If you missed our guest spot on One Giant Leap for Geeks, you can check it out HERE ! It's Halloween again, and Pitney is getting ready to move back to California, so apart from one last Samhain ritual at his place, he's focused on purging and packing. Amelia is gearing up for the hundreds of trick-or-treaters that will converge on her house, and this year she's rallying her neighbors to get more...

Welcome to our contribution to All The Horror 2019! We hope you check out episodes from the other shows participating this month. It's been a blast! Check the #AllTheHorror hashtag to find more! This week, we're talking about made-for-TV horror. First Pitney tells us about a few films of Lucio Fulci, the master of giallo horror, and how much he hates Italian children. (This can't surprise you, hon...