Pillow Talks

In today’s episode we’re diving into something that 74% of our audience have never done - roleplay!   Most people think that roleplaying feels awkward and uncomfortable. They worry about not knowing who to roleplay, not being able to get or stay in character, and generally embarrassing themselves.   But we think that roleplaying can be a whole lot of fun - and can even be a great way to feel more...

Today’s episode is about one of the most underrated sex acts that you’re probably not doing… mutual masturbation!   Even if your face is already beet red, we’re going to do our best to convince you why masturbation isn’t something you should do alone or in secret.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationsh...

“Should I have to stop hanging out with my ex because my girlfriend said so?”   “Is it my husband’s job to say something to my rude in-laws?”   We’re answering these spicy questions and many more in today’s episode of Pillow Talks!   Most of us get annoyed by things our partner says or does — but is it their problem, or ours? Is it their responsibility to fix, or is it something we need to learn h...

Every day we get DMs from women asking Xander what men REALLY think about everything from pubic hair to emotional intimacy.   We decided we had to devote an entire podcast episode to this topic, so we gathered your most common questions and concerns, and put Xander in the hot seat. We also asked the men in our Instagram audience for their feedback. We’re giving you an invaluable peek inside the he...

Love it or hate it, 69 is one of the most infamous sex acts. We just had to give it it’s own episode, especially since today is also 6/9.   We’re sharing how we really feel about 69, plus 6.9 amazing tips for having the most fun in this position. You also do not want to miss the hilarious stories our audience shared with us!   But that’s not all! It’s also the 1 year anniversary of the Pillow Talk...

We were WRONG.   Well, Vanessa was. She thought there was no way our last Ask Us Anything episode would be popular, but it ended up being one of our most listened-to episodes!   So we decided to do a Part 2 with more of the most asked and most interesting personal questions we’ve gotten.   We’re talking about: What we fight about What we won’t do sexually Vanessa’s ultra-personal therapy update Wh...

Have you ever read a romance novel or watched a sex scene and felt turned on by reading or seeing something kinda kinky that you’ve never even thought of doing in the bedroom before?   Maybe you like the sex you’re having now, but you’ve heard of some naughty things that make you a little…curious.   This episode is your introduction to kink: what it is, why you might want to experiment with it, an...

You’re innocently folding the laundry, just minding your own business, when your partner comes up behind you, brushes your hair away from your ear and whispers “I want you. NOW.” They order you to take off your clothes. They push you down onto the bed, and ravage you from head to toe.   We’ve all had this fantasy, right? It’s SO sexy to think about your partner taking control.   But what is it abo...

“Why should I have to flirt with my partner? We’ve been together forever!”   A lot of us in long-term relationships feel hesitant to flirt with our partner. It feels awkward, clunky, or just plain unnecessary.   But flirting is an amazing way to ignite that spark you once had and remind you of those exciting early days of your relationship.   Most importantly: flirting can make both of you feel SO...

You know that thing you really want to tell your partner but you just... don’t know how?   Maybe you’re nervous, you really don’t want to hurt their feelings, or it feels like the time is never right.   Well, you’re not alone!   Our Instagram audience hit us with alllll the things they wish they could tell their partner, and we’re giving them our best advice for how to keep it real while avoiding...

Squirting: is it real? Where does it come from? IS IT PEE?!   In this episode, we are doing a deep dive on the mystery of squirting: specifically what it is, why it happens, and how we all became so obsessed with it.   Join us for a very educational episode and learn why this topic gets Vanessa so fired up!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of t...

Can’t remember the last time you had sex?   Or maybe you remember the exact day and it’s been... too long.   It’s time to talk about one of the most-dreaded issues that comes up in relationships... DRY SPELLS!   You might find yourself wondering if there’s an end in sight. Has your relationship cooled off for good? When you do have sex again, is it going to be awkward or bad, leading to yet anothe...

You’re having a steamy makeout session with your partner, things are getting hot and heavy and leading to sex, but your partner just can’t get or stay erect. (Or maybe their erection isn’t the problem, but their orgasm is.)   What does it mean??   For most women, we think the answer lies within ourselves. We’re not hot enough. We’re not experienced enough or lacking technique. Something is wrong w...

If you’re like many people, hygiene seems pretty basic. Take a shower, brush your teeth, wear deodorant, what’s so hard about that?   So you may find yourself confused about why your partner can’t seem to take good care of themselves.   How can your partner expect you to want to kiss them, have sex with them, or even be attracted to them in the first place if they haven’t kept up basic hygiene hab...

Is squirting really just pee? Can pineapple make your vulva taste and smell sweet? What the heck is the deal with belly button sex??   We turned to Instagram to ask, “What’s something you’ve heard about sex and aren’t sure if it’s true?”   Some of these urban legends are funny, some of them are damaging and harmful, and some of them are actually true!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to su...

Do you find yourself wishing your partner would share more about their emotions, or at least just more details about how their day went?   If your partner never opens up to you, it can leave you feeling pretty damn lonely. You may even find yourself feeling suspicious about why they won’t share more with you.   In this episode, we’re giving you practical tips on how to get your partner to “open up...

Have you ever been in the middle of some HOT sex and all of a sudden you start thinking about something completely unrelated? Maybe you need to get a babysitter for next weekend or you totally forgot to send that email to your boss.   Regardless of what you’re distracted by, it can be so frustrating and you can end up feeling powerless to your thoughts. You may even feel self-judgment or shame tha...

“Are we sexually compatible?” This haunting question comes up in the majority of relationships at some point. So what does it actually mean when it starts to feel like you’re not sexually compatible?? Is your relationship doomed?   The answer is - it depends! In this episode, we’re digging into sexual compatibility using an exciting new model Vanessa developed! Plus, we’ll even share our own “rank...

So how DID Xander propose? How often do we really have sex? You’re about to find out in this “ask us anything” style episode, where we answer your most frequently asked, burning questions.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed...

What do you do when your partner initiates sex, but you’re not in the mood?   This can be one of the trickiest moments to navigate in a relationship. You might find yourself freezing up, worrying about hurting your partner, or even feeling irritated at them for initiating in the first place.   In this episode, we walk you through exactly what to do. You might even be surprised by our suggestions!...

You wish your partner would do something thoughtful for you, and you definitely DON’T want to have to ask them to do it — because if you did, it wouldn’t really count as something thoughtful anymore! Right?!   This episode is the remedy for this all-too-common complaint. We’re giving you steps to take toward more intentional, joyful moments for both you and your partner.   If you enjoyed this epis...

There are two types of people: those who need to feel connected before having sex, and those that need to have sex in order to feel connected. In a cruel twist of fate, relationships typically have one of each type of person. This can lead to a stand-off situation that often manifests in long dry spells or straight up bad sex.   In this episode, we give our surprising (and perhaps controversial) a...

One of the most frequent questions we get is, “Do you have kids?” Followed closely by “why don’t you have any?” While it hasn’t always been an easy journey, we’ve gotten to a place where we’re really comfortable and confident in our choice to be child-free. So today’s episode is all about how we got there!   We get deeply vulnerable and yes, tears were shed. We’re answering your burning questions...

What do you do when your partner says something hurtful that you just can’t shake, even months or years later? Is it something you can grow and heal from or is it simply a deal breaker?   This advice-column style episode dives into the “grey area” of relationships. We’ll hear stories from members of our community who are sharing their most harrowing ‘can we come back from this?’ moments and give o...

Has your partner ever done a task so poorly or asked you so many questions that you finally just said “fine, I’ll do it myself!”? This is called weaponized incompetence, and while your partner may not mean for it to be, it can be harmful in a relationship. In this episode we’re going to talk about how to identify weaponized incompetence, how it shows up in OUR relationship, and what to do if you o...