Pessimistic at Best

Did you have a Christian phase? Have you also been arrested? I'm not saying there's a correlation, but let's look at the facts. Kyle and I self-identify as total sweethearts, but previously we were singing hymns and doing time. Join us for an honest conversation about the joys of dating, the burden of having a downstairs neighbor, and the harsh reality of it being an election year....

Picture this: It's 1:30 am, the lights come on, 'Closing Time' starts playing over the speakers, the bartenders have turned on you and there are two big burly guys telling you that you can't wait for your Uber inside. Is there anything worse?  I think not! Owen, James, and I take to the podcast for a deep and intellectual conversation about e-cards, eye doctors, expiration date...

Do you suffer from road rage or are you medicated? As a proud passenger princess myself, I typically abstain — but I understand the urge, driving is hard! Let it out, bestie! Dylan and I take to the pod to grumble about physical labor and publicly shame people who don't use their turn signals. Join in the fun, you know you want to. ;)  Support the show THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM:...

Did your high school have an open campus lunch or were you one of the unlucky ones? I hate to break it to you, but there is truly no experience that could compare to piling seven deep in a friend's car and zipping across the street to the mall food court for a slice of Rocky Rococo's pepperoni pizza and a pink lemonade. None! Join us for a silly little conversation about drunk McDonald&a...

Do you ride or die for Steve Jobs? Don’t worry, you’re safe here! Jake and I take to the podcast to discuss the finest technological advances of our lifetime (caller ID & iPhone cases with kickstands) while simultaneously confessing our unyielding need to touch grass and perhaps create something with our hands, because we contain multitudes! Support the show THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME F...

I need to apologize to anyone who listens to this episode and purchases a ticket to Lollapalooza because I said Phoebe Bridgers is on the lineup. That is utter misinformation, she's probably busy that weekend, and I have no idea where I heard this rumor or why it came out of my mouth. Please forgive me! Okay, now that we got that out of the way. If you're NOT mad at me, consider joining...

Do you have a nickname? Was it self prescribed or bestowed upon you? Do you prefer your god-given name? What if god isn’t real, then what? So many questions!  While you contemplate your answers, why not join us for a silly little episode about the magic of visiting your local Asian supermarket, the terror of encountering your local Christian Bible thumper, and the harsh reality of taking an overwh...

Becoming an adult means getting a printer for the home and we're officially shedding our youth today, folks. James and I take to the pod to discuss the versatility of breakfast sandwiches, lament over the incredible inconvenience of having to type in a password, and persecute anyone who willingly leaves the house with a chipped mani. Sorry, not sorry!  Support the show THERE'S MORE WHERE...

What ever happened to getting all gussied up for a night at the theater? We used to have class, we used to have taste, we used to have culture — now all we've got are a bunch of hussies wearing their "Kiss me, I'm Irish" t-shirts to the Saturday evening showing of My Fair Lady. Join us for a silly little conversation about comfort shows, modern architecture, and boring losers w...

Not to be dramatic, but I would happily lay down my life for the man who sings songs to his goat on TikTok. Have you had the pleasure of encountering this sweet creature? His gentle spirit, his adoring fan, I simply can't get enough! Join us on the pod for a silly little conversation about whether our reverence for animal videos spans generations and stay for my hot take on what it takes to g...

Did you know that if you get bad news during a tarot reading it's your fault? Anyway, Jasen paid 30 dollars for a woman to tell him he was destined to get famous by coming on my podcast, so here goes! Join us for a silly little conversation about rollerskating, apartments with no personality, and reality TV's latest innovation, The Traitors. You're going to love it, seriously! Suppo...

When it comes to condiments, how refined is your palate? I'm a mustard girlie, but I admittedly still fuck with ketchup, is that okay? You can be honest! Join us for a silly little conversation about our favorite mayo-based dressings, our biggest red flags, and our thoughts on the ugliest running shoes. Support the show THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM:   FOLLOW THE PODCAST Instagram: @...

Besties, are you tweaking out or are you locked in? We're asking the tough questions today on Pessimistic at Best! Personally, I'm tweaking but I'm trying sooo hard to lock in. Join us for a comically unstable conversation about bidets, movie trailers, and the Twitter comments section. SPONSORED BY Magic Mind: magicmind.com Support the show THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM:  ...

Are you a cat person or a dog person? I'm not trying to start drama but personally, I've never seen a dog boots the house down, just saying!!! Zoe and take to the podcast to fawn over the feline's primordial pouch, trash talk Chicago winters, and share our hot takes on hairless pets — join in if you're feeling frisky ;) Support the show THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM:  ...

It's 2024 and the rumors are true, I'm popping off this year! So sorry you had to find out like this, destiny is calling and I'd be a fool to let her go to voicemail, as they say! We're back with a new season and a slightly new episode format that I'm so excited to finally pump into your sweet little ears. This season we're starting a new segment on the pod called, &q...

We’re just another internet couple creating content for our adoring fans. It’s hard work, but somebody’s got to do it. So, here we present you the final episode of season six. We’re celebrating Festivus a little early this year and airing our grievances with one another right here on the pod, so join us in discussing the things we like the least about each other. The perfect start to a merry holid...

How old were you when you learned to eat vegetables? As a former picky eater, I was admittedly a bit of late bloomer, myself. Magda and I may have grown up in different cities but we were both members of our respective middle school skiing clubs, neither of us can do a cartwheel, and we both decided to take up Gender & Women’s Studies minors sooo, you do the math. Join us for a silly little co...

What's your favorite season? If the answer isn't fall, you're wrong, no offense! The weather, the clothes, the variety of soups — I mean seriously, what's not to love? Join us for a little chat about our mutual love for all things autumnal and stay for a run-down of the campiest horror movies and our go-to Thanksgiving side dishes — you're not going to want to miss this wh...

Did you know opting out of Boom Cup could prevent you from contracting coronavirus? That's a W for my non-competitive gals if I've ever heard one! Yes, the rumors are true, James got the vid and then got his job back, and I got to be home for one whole day last week! Anyway, join us for an incredibly slap-happy little conversation that will take you all the way from Las Vegas, Nevada to...

Someone on YouTube commented on one of my recent podcast episodes and said, "Good video and pretty feet," so do with that information what you will! Safe to say I've been wearing socks on the pod ever since. Anyway, your favorite co-host is back, so tune into this week's ep for a breakdown of the difference between spooky movies vs. horror movies and stay to find out why I crie...

Have you ever traveled to Calabasas and back in a day? Well I have, and it stunk! Picture this—you’re flying Southwest Airlines, you unknowingly choose the seat in between a large party of 40-year old divorcees, you land at LAX and are forced to walk 2 miles to the Uber pick-up spot, you drive to your meeting, black out while pitching ideas to your client, and then head right back to the airport o...

Do you still seek approval from Mom? Don't worry, you're amongst friends! I mean come on, there's truly nothing more validating than an endorsement from your mother, even at the ripe old age of twenty-seven. Alex, Andrew, and I take to the podcast to discuss the challenges of living with food restrictions, the absolute magic of snow days, and the three incredible women single-handed...

Do you believe in astrology? Meg and I are both fire signs entering our Saturn Return, so send us your thoughts and prayers, besties! On this week's ep, we discuss the pros and cons of recreational sports, recount the trauma of running the pacer test in gym class, and share our mutual ick for grown men riding electric scooters in their business casual clothes. We're just a couple of gals...

Besties, what do you do when you get into a funk? Do you quit your job? Move to a new city? Guest star on a friend's podcast? All valid options, to be sure! Collin and I take to the pod to chat about when it's appropriate to run away from your problems, what not to order at your favorite fast-casual restaurants, the evolution of bracelet trends in the early 2000s, and so much more. Join...

My wonderful friend Clair and I take to the podcast for a philosophical discussion about a few of the very particular life experiences explicitly reserved for twenty-somethings who are post-college, but pre-normal, happy, functioning adult life — including, but certainly not limited to, teaching English in Spain, working in logistics (bonus points if it's for a random trucking company), cryin...