Peace and Parenting: How to Parent without Punishments

All of us want the same thing. Well adjusted kids who can take care of themselves on every level, and hopefully take care of themselves better than we do! But how? How do we make sure they learn all the lessons, make meaning of all the experiences and know right from wrong while still embodying who they are and how to “be” in this world. It’s no easy feat and it certainly doesn’t come without its...

It can be unhinging for us to hear our child say something mean. We can go down a rabbit hole of thinking our child is disrespectful and will end up in jail because of the things they say. Re-framing this idea and coming to our kids with more connection might be the only way we can unravel this hard parenting moment. This week's podcast will help you find more perspective when it comes to the...

Homework and grades can become such a struggle in our homes. How can we help our kids be successful and also take responsibility for their grades and homework? Is it possible to take a step back and still have kids who want to succeed at school? How can we instill self-motivation and pride without being the warden of grades and homework? Join me on the podcast as I give you real-life examples and...

Katie, a mother of 2 gets advice from Michelle about using special time with her girls, when is the best time of day for this to get the most out of it, and how to navigate the uniqueness of each child. Join me and Katie as I answer all of her parenting questions through the lens of positive parenting.   Want to make yelling a thing of the past! Are you tired of apologizing for becoming upset and...

The role we take on in our nuclear family may easily transfer into our parenting, and often informs the ways in which we treat our children. Subconsciously we may perpetuate these roles without fully recognizing what they are or where they come from. Largely because children in our society are viewed as immediately “being” wrong and therefore we may jump to these conclusions without even recognizi...

Advice may seem like a good idea when our children are struggling, but maybe it isn’t. Unsolicited advice can often fall on deaf ears or worse cause conflict with our children. I play out some scenarios that might help you understand the pitfalls of advice-giving this week on the podcast.   Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ideas of connection a...

Continuing on from last week's episode Tara, a mother of 3 brings her questions about her 12-year-old daughter. How do we begin to parent without control and punishments when our child is older? What can we do to unravel conventional parenting and come with more connection? Join me and Tara as we discuss ways to cultivate connection with our preteens and older kids. I answer all of her parenti...

Tara, a mother of 3 brings her questions about her 12-year-old daughter. How do we begin to parent without control and punishments when our child is older? What can we do to unravel conventional parenting and come with more connection? Join me and Tara as we discuss ways to cultivate connection with our preteens and older kids. I answer all of her parenting questions through the lens of positive p...

“Use your words” and other phrases have me thinking deeply. Where do they come from and what do they mean? Can we reframe and rethink those ideas and perhaps leave them for the generations past. This week I discuss some of the big offenders, giving some alternatives and finding ways to be more supportive with our children.   Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive de...

Brain Science is at the heart of all things Parenting with Connection. The inner workings of the brain help us better understand behavior. When we use it as our guide it helps us understand why Connective Parenting works so well and what the benefits are all around as compared to Conventional Parenting. Brain Science gives us the underpinning of tangible facts which help guide our everyday interac...

It has been said that parenting with connection lacks limits because it fails to use punishments or rewards, but limits do not need to be set using these methods and can in fact use empathy and understanding instead. Limits can also be used to create a place for a child to offload feelings and process emotions. This can only happen with empathy as opposed to punishments.    How do we dole out puni...

How do we dole out punishments and when we do, do they actually work, or are we chasing our tail in hopes of finding ways to “get” our kids to “behave” follow directions and listen? Is there a better way and why? Why are punishments so ineffective and what can we do instead? Join me for one of my FREE Webinars: How to Parenting Without Punishments. I will be live talking all about it and helping y...

Connective parenting can be confusing. What is it? What are the values and how can I get my children to be good people by just being nice? Well, there’s a bit more to it and maintaining and promoting the child-parent relationship is the most important aspect of Connective Parenting. Whereas conventional methods rely on control and punishments. How does it feel to be in a relationship where you fee...

Connective parenting isn’t all roses! No parenting is, let’s just keep it authentic shall we? There are extra pressures with parenting against the grain. We are learning and relearning so many new things, we are fighting against what society says we should and we are exhausted from listening to big ugly feelings. I know how it feels I am right there with you and let me reassure you just because it...

I am proud of you, was something I always wanted to hear from my parents, but why? Why did I crave it so much? Was it because I felt the unconditionality of their love and is this what we want for our kids? Or would we rather them know we love them just the same when they mess up or when they do well. How can we promote internal pride and acceptance as opposed to setting them up to look for extern...

Having a teen is as hard as having a newborn! All the firsts and all the angst, let’s face it the stakes are really high and we parents worry tremendously about our children and the teen years can really exacerbate our worry and stress. What I know works is connection, but many times parents pull away from their teens because the teens are trying to find their own way too. When I lean into being w...

Being the nurse, counselor and chauffeur are enough! Adding on cooking and life as a parent can seem overwhelming. Instead of thinking of cooking as an elaborate endeavor that takes hours of planning and endless amounts of time, think of it as a place to connect. Laney Schwartz from Life is but a Dish joins us and gives us some mealtime hacks that will keep the focus on connection instead of food...

I began parenting with the idea of being the perfectly attached mom. But what none of the books told me was how to respond to my children when things were hard, when strong wills were introduced and kids said no. I resorted to yelling and that yelling led me to self-loathing which created a cycle I could not stop until I found connective parenting. Come along on my journey today of self-love and f...

Life, as we know, is not fair, but are we trying to shield our children from fairness or are we diving deeply into acknowledgment and acceptance instead? Isn’t the ideal of everything being equal and unrealistic thought and trying to even every instance into fairness doing our children a disservice? How do we help them accept unfairness and still support them in their feelings when they feel wrong...

This week on the podcast I describe how I have tried to make repairs when I have behaved in ways that I know are not acceptable. We are all human and making mistakes is inevitable and also part of how we learn to do better. Modeling effective apologies and making amends is the best way we can teach our children how to take responsibility for their actions. If we can take responsibility for ours th...

Not taking our child’s behavior personally can be extremely challenging. Not only does it restimulate our own unmet needs but on some level, we might believe what they are saying is true or that they really believe we are “mean” or understand that the off-track behavior is meaningful rather than just a behavior. In this episode, I reframe those ideas and give some alternative thoughts around takin...

This year, I want to prioritize myself. I want to make my care at the top of my list. These are simple things we overlook which can really improve our overall mood. I know when I do this I feel better, do better in all aspects and am all around happier. But it’s not easy! It’s one of the most difficult things in parenting I believe. This happiness breeds happiness in my household and in turn trick...

I have had many revelations around my parenting this year. Like every year there are also many places I still need to work. For me parenting really is an inside-out endeavor. The more committed I am to working on my inner growth and maturity the more progress I see. Paradigm shifts and mindset changes give me the biggest growth. This week I give you mine,  hoping that you can glean some support ar...

Discipline can be a confusing word in the world of conscious parenting. Is it guidance and coaching or do most of the world view it as harsh punishments? In my world with my daughters, I do not subscribe to any type of punishment or discipline. In this podcast, I tell you why and give you a compelling argument as to why you should consider doing away with harsh parenting altogether. In reality, it...

Regine is an Instagram follower who came to me with a real question about her daughter’s social life. I think we have all been there...when we want to just have a little chat with the 8-year-old kid who is being unkind to our child. You know, just let them know you are watching! Somehow it’s likely not the right move, but what is? What can we do for kids and support them through the social ups and...