Peace and Parenting: How to Parent without Punishments

There are some things that we can keep top of mind when we are thinking about being a connected parent. Michelle gives you a short list to help outline just what it means to be a connected parent and how we can reframe our thoughts and minds to stay on our path of coming with unconditional love and guidance as opposed to being the judge and jury.   Active Threads is a female-run company with two m...

There is much anxiety around being a parent. So much so that it can be paralyzing or have us believing we are “messing” up our kids or otherwise ruining them. There’s a place to give ourselves grace and to also recognize where some of those anxieties stem from Join Michelle and the Lovely Sheryl Paul from @wisdomofanxiety as she shares her deep wisdom around parenting and anxiety.   Connect with S...

Are we wired to fix things with our kids and perhaps with our partners as well? Does this place us in a position to miss the feelings which might be mulling around and go straight to this idea that we cannot allow our loved ones to suffer, as it might be too difficult for us? Dr. Tracy D collaborates on a joint podcast where she and Michelle discuss how these ideas show up both in our partnerships...

I had a client ask for a daily reset and so here it is. Ten things to think about that can help you reframe your day as you begin to parent, or perhaps before you pick them up or as you are embarking on a long vacation, or just whenever.    I’m answering live parenting questions every week for the members of my Instagram subscription community plus we have a private chat and exclusive videos. It’s...

Let’s be honest parenting is really hard and sometimes impossible. This week I keep it real with you and tell you all the things that have me stumped. It doesn’t mean I love my kids less, but it does mean that I struggle just like you, and to be honest there are days I want to run away. There are days I wish they were grown and there are days when it is more challenging than I ever imagined.   I’m...

There's much discussion about regulation. How do I get my child to self-regulate? How do I get them to learn about their emotions and learn emotional regulation? Can I teach it to them and what is the best way? Many folks want to explain and teach breathing techniques and ways to name their feelings. But co-regulation is where it's really at. Co-regulation is where kids really internalize...

Respect is something society tells us our children "need" to have for us. Kids are expected to respect their elders and "be" respectful. Much of the respect I see is respect that is forced and not the kind that is earned. My children need to earn my respect and me theirs. We live in a reciprocal relationship that is based on mutual respect. Isn't that what we want in our other...

Yep, I said it, and I believe it. Punishment is revenge in a very real way. We don’t punish children for any other reason except we want them to “pay” for what they did. It’s not our fault, as our parents did the same thing. If we look at our own childhood we can remember what it felt like and how punitive and unkind it came across. Is this what we want for our kids?    My gift to you this holiday...

How do we teach our children gratitude? Is it through direct instruction or lessons on being grateful? Do we point out all the things in their lives that they should be grateful for, or make them regurgitate things they are grateful for at the Thanksgiving Table? What is being grateful anyway and how do we show our children we are grateful for them? Have a listen and maybe gain a different perspec...

I’m sorry might not be enough! It may not convey the real message that we both want to express when we feel remorse and we want our children to also express when they feel true remorse. Let me help you cultivate a more dynamic and heartfelt apology that feels better and is undoubtedly more helpful.   My gift to you this holiday season is 20% off all my on-demand programs plus my monthly membership...

Many sweet parents ask me if it’s too late for them and their children. If they have damaged the relationship so much that it is irreparable. Let me reassure you today that it is not! Life is messy and full of mistakes and that is what makes it all a human experience.   I’m answering live parenting questions every week for the members of my Instagram subscription community plus we have a private c...

The fight, flight, or freeze response is to keep us safe. Our bodies and mind go into overdrive. But what if that overdrive is activated time and again? Are there physical and emotional implications? What can we do to keep ourselves and our children calm instead of igniting a fear response both in them and in us?   Want to make yelling a thing of the past? Are you tired of apologizing for becoming...

Bedtime, bathtime, and homework become very sticky places at times between us and our children. We often struggle here where maybe we don’t need to. Isn’t the goal to have self-sufficient kids who know how to take care of themselves? But how will they learn when they feel hungry, tired, or dirty if we are constantly micromanaging these chores?   I’m answering live parenting questions every week fo...

Is it too late? This is a question parents ask often about changing the way in which they parent. Am I too late? Can I make a difference with an older child and what can I do to cultivate a relationship with an adult kid? I answer these questions and touch on the idea of manners as I talk with my lovely guest Jennifer, a mother of three kids.    Working with individuals and couples is my most favo...

Divorce can be quite difficult for us and our children. Coming up with a plan is essential to keeping the divorce focused on the kids and not our conflict. Lesa Koski joins me as a mediator and attorney who gives us some ways to help ease tensions between us and our soon-to-be exes.    I was recently a guest on Lesa's podcast Doing Divorce Different , check out the episode here . You can also...

When we place emphasis on succeeding in sports or activities are we doing our child a disservice? Isn’t the point of sports and extracurricular activities to have fun and enjoy? What about school? Aren’t we there really to learn, to socialize? When the pressures become too great they can have a negative impact on our children.   Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We div...

Cooperation is the number one complaint I hear from parents. What do we do if they do not do as I ask? How do I get the to say yes and what do I do when they say no? We use connection, but how. Listen in as I give you some pointers and if you want to you can take my course Guide to Cooperation to learn all the tools of connection along with the ins and outs of cooperation and hearing they ever cov...

Sometimes when our kids struggle we blame ourselves and hold ourselves accountable. We believe it’s our fault especially when there are big ugly feelings. Can we instead be present and grounded in those feelings and bear witness to help them come through and help them know those big ugly feelings are totally normal? This builds grit and emotional regulation.    Today’s episode is sponsored by Tosi...

Gentle parenting or conscious parenting if done right does not create children who are “snowflakes”. What is a snowflake anyway and how can we both come to our kids with kindness and avoid creating adults who cannot withstand upsetting and hard moments in life? Could our overparenting be hindering us, and what about underparenting? Goodness, there’s too much to discuss.    Today’s episode is spons...

When our child misbehaves the first thing to do is to make it stop and our next thought is to correct, scold or punish. Why? Because this is precisely what our parents would do and what society tells us will “work” to get the behavior to cease. Let me offer you a reframe and a different thought which could totally transform your home. No more punishments necessary.    Today’s episode is sponsored...

Connective/conscious and gentle parenting is often perceived as permissive. Many people believe children will grow up unruly and unable to identify right from wrong and lack the skills to overcome upsetting moments. Listen in as I discuss why none do this is true.    Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ideas of connection and unravel the struggles...

Is our more amiable child really easy going or could there be reasons that they are easygoing? Are they affected by the interactions they witness, is their temperament different than those kids who are fighting to be heard and understood and how can we insure they have a voice later in life and aren’t people pleasers? Listen in and get a new perspective.    Working with individuals and couples is...

They ran across the street and didn’t even look, they almost did it on purpose. Now what? I want to come to them with connection but how? The 16-year-old goes to the party and drinks, they don't listen to me now what? Listen in and find out the answer to this important question. We can both come to them with connection and keep them safe.    Working with individuals and couples is my most favo...

What are the first signs of yelling or becoming dysregulated and what can we do to help keep ourselves calm in those hard moments? What is behind the urge to yell, and what techniques can we use as the first defense against yelling? Is our own well-being directly linked to how well we parent and is COVID still lurking in our psyche? Listen in as I discuss these issues with my lovely guest Katie a...

We overly stress about the trauma we might be causing our children. We often believe every misstep and slip up will “ruin” our kids. I hear this often from my clients and on Social Media. But the trauma we went through as children is not the same as what our kids are experiencing with us. Let me put your mind at ease in this podcast episode.    Working with individuals and couples is my most favor...