Peace and Parenting: How to Parent without Punishments

If you’ve been listening to Peace and Parenting for a while you’ll have heard Michelle talk about “Special Time”. Today she unpacks the benefit it has for both your kids and you, and some of the rules and pitfalls around creating these special moments of connection with your kids. And if you have teens there are some great tips in here for how to do this with those more reluctant ages.   Working w...

As parents, we naturally resort to correction, yelling, punishments, and even shame when our kids make mistakes. But these actions often convey that our love for them depends on their behavior. Listen in today as Michelle helps you understand how to show your kids unconditional love when moments get tough.   Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ide...

Michelle shares the story behind Peace And Parenting and how a moment in the family pool lead to her discovering connected parenting. She threw away the star charts, rewards, and punishments and began connecting with her kids and it changed her life and the relationship she has with her kids.   Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ideas of connecti...

Having trouble with your kids fighting during playtime? In today’s episode, Michelle answers questions from one of her followers and gives us all tips for dealing with that one child who has gone offline and how she uses special time and roughhousing to get them back online again.   Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ideas of connection and unrav...

Being a parent is hard. There are so many responsibilities, errands, extracurricular activities, pick-ups, drop-offs, and bills to pay, not to mention your other relationships to maintain. Today Michelle gives you a reason to underparent, to sit on the couch and watch a movie or have that second bowl of dessert. It's actually a necessary part of becoming a connected parent.   Working with indi...

Sometimes it seems as if one or more of our kids doesn't have feelings, or is okay with anything. As if they are so easy in nature that nothing bothers them. Maybe that is true to some degree. Perhaps they are more easygoing personalities, but what if those feelings are there and just need a place to come out and space to be seen and heard?   Having trouble sleeping? I have been using both the...

Strong-willed kids are often sensitive, like my sweet Esme. These kids will make parenting using conventional ideas very challenging. Good for them to push back against the ideas of control and manipulation. Their internal workings tell them these tactics are attacks on their psyche. The problem is they come out fighting and then the circle of behavior begins with little hope of getting it to stop...

The feelings our children display can be difficult for us to endure. However, when we do with calm, we show them we are safe and able to be their container. As life moves on we are cementing this idea. When things are hard where will they come? But only if we can illustrate we are actually safe.   Having trouble sleeping? I have been using both the Sleep Ez Natural Support capsules and the Aromath...

Often we say our child is upset when they “don’t get their own way” but is it that simple and are they “allowed to have feelings around disappointment? Aren’t we upset when things don’t go our own way? Isn’t it true we feel disappointed or defeated? Just because they are little doesn’t mean they aren’t “allowed” to have those feelings too.   Having trouble sleeping? I have been using both the Slee...

Connective parenting is for all kids because it draws from the ideas of unconditional love and relationship instead of rewards and punishments. All children and all people thrive with connection and do not do well with punishment, belittlement, or harshness. Who wants to be treated in these ways and what does this type of treatment do to a child's brain? Find out all the answers in this week&#...

Do we actually believe we aren’t good enough parents because we weren’t good enough kids?  Were our mistakes punished and pointed out in order to make us feel bad and do we feel bad now when we mess up, chastise ourselves and hold ourselves to unattainable standards like the ones our parents held us to? I believe this could be a big part of the parent shaming cycle that never ends but continues ou...

The brain functions well with connection and is at ease when they feel good about the people that are around. Especially children and babies. The limbic system looks to connect with other limbic systems in order to feel safe. Our children are constantly looking to make connections in order to establish a deep connection with a caretaker to ensure they are taken care of. They are provided shelter,...

This realization of being a bully didn’t come to Michelle early on in parenting, but as she reflects she now sees her behavior as a young mom resembled that of bullying. The yelling, threats, bribes, and shame aren’t something any child should have to live with, and really no person. Do we want to show up in our loving relationships in this way or would we rather come to them with love and underst...

There are some things that we can keep top of mind when we are thinking about being a connected parent. Michelle gives you a short list to help outline just what it means to be a connected parent and how we can reframe our thoughts and minds to stay on our path of coming with unconditional love and guidance as opposed to being the judge and jury.   Active Threads is a female-run company with two m...

There is much anxiety around being a parent. So much so that it can be paralyzing or have us believing we are “messing” up our kids or otherwise ruining them. There’s a place to give ourselves grace and to also recognize where some of those anxieties stem from Join Michelle and the Lovely Sheryl Paul from @wisdomofanxiety as she shares her deep wisdom around parenting and anxiety.   Connect with S...

Are we wired to fix things with our kids and perhaps with our partners as well? Does this place us in a position to miss the feelings which might be mulling around and go straight to this idea that we cannot allow our loved ones to suffer, as it might be too difficult for us? Dr. Tracy D collaborates on a joint podcast where she and Michelle discuss how these ideas show up both in our partnerships...

I had a client ask for a daily reset and so here it is. Ten things to think about that can help you reframe your day as you begin to parent, or perhaps before you pick them up or as you are embarking on a long vacation, or just whenever.    I’m answering live parenting questions every week for the members of my Instagram subscription community plus we have a private chat and exclusive videos. It’s...

Let’s be honest parenting is really hard and sometimes impossible. This week I keep it real with you and tell you all the things that have me stumped. It doesn’t mean I love my kids less, but it does mean that I struggle just like you, and to be honest there are days I want to run away. There are days I wish they were grown and there are days when it is more challenging than I ever imagined.   I’m...

There's much discussion about regulation. How do I get my child to self-regulate? How do I get them to learn about their emotions and learn emotional regulation? Can I teach it to them and what is the best way? Many folks want to explain and teach breathing techniques and ways to name their feelings. But co-regulation is where it's really at. Co-regulation is where kids really internalize...

Respect is something society tells us our children "need" to have for us. Kids are expected to respect their elders and "be" respectful. Much of the respect I see is respect that is forced and not the kind that is earned. My children need to earn my respect and me theirs. We live in a reciprocal relationship that is based on mutual respect. Isn't that what we want in our other...

Yep, I said it, and I believe it. Punishment is revenge in a very real way. We don’t punish children for any other reason except we want them to “pay” for what they did. It’s not our fault, as our parents did the same thing. If we look at our own childhood we can remember what it felt like and how punitive and unkind it came across. Is this what we want for our kids?    My gift to you this holiday...

How do we teach our children gratitude? Is it through direct instruction or lessons on being grateful? Do we point out all the things in their lives that they should be grateful for, or make them regurgitate things they are grateful for at the Thanksgiving Table? What is being grateful anyway and how do we show our children we are grateful for them? Have a listen and maybe gain a different perspec...

I’m sorry might not be enough! It may not convey the real message that we both want to express when we feel remorse and we want our children to also express when they feel true remorse. Let me help you cultivate a more dynamic and heartfelt apology that feels better and is undoubtedly more helpful.   My gift to you this holiday season is 20% off all my on-demand programs plus my monthly membership...

Many sweet parents ask me if it’s too late for them and their children. If they have damaged the relationship so much that it is irreparable. Let me reassure you today that it is not! Life is messy and full of mistakes and that is what makes it all a human experience.   I’m answering live parenting questions every week for the members of my Instagram subscription community plus we have a private c...

The fight, flight, or freeze response is to keep us safe. Our bodies and mind go into overdrive. But what if that overdrive is activated time and again? Are there physical and emotional implications? What can we do to keep ourselves and our children calm instead of igniting a fear response both in them and in us?   Want to make yelling a thing of the past? Are you tired of apologizing for becoming...