Peace and Parenting: How to Parent without Punishments

Are you tired of asking your kids to do something and being met with resistance, complaining, and pushback? Today I want to share with you why this is happening and how cooperation comes when we first work on creating a strong bond with our kids. Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review. Follow Peace and Parenting : Instagram: @peaceandparenting Fa...

Today I want to read to you an excerpt from my new book Unpunished, it’s from the chapter entitled Road to Empathy and I share a story about how the shame around wanting to be the “good mom” was my biggest motivator to get my kids to school on time. Get your copy of Unpunished here www.unpunishedbook.com Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review. Fo...

If you’ve recently started trying connected parenting you may have the same question many of my clients have and that is “why is it getting worse?”. When you start doing away with punishments, rewards, and time-outs we often see a rise in quote-unquote “bad behavior” but listen in today as I share with you what’s really going in here and how it’s actually a necessary step forward in the journey to...

One of the first things we need to do in order to implement a connected parenting style is to change our mindset. But making this shift is extremely difficult because society has told us that children are inherently bad and that they need us to make them good. I don’t believe this is true and if we can get past the judgment and allow our kids to make mistakes and sit with them during the hard time...

Have you ever yelled at your child for leaving their clothes on the floor or not hanging their school bag up when they walk in the door? Today I want to unpack why it is that our children’s behavior can trigger us into wild outbursts of anger and how although we will never be able to control our kid's actions, we can control our reactions. Download my FREE guide: Healing Ourselves Through Jour...

If you were born in the ’80s or ‘90’s you were more than likely raised using shame and threats and punishments. This is no fault of our parents they were doing what they thought was right but this model doesn’t foster a great parent-child relationship. Coming in with empathy and understanding when our kids make mistakes infuses more connection into the relationship. And guess what, it’s not about...

Today I want to give you some ways to use those moments when your child is having a tantrum or big feelings as a way to connect with them. If we can use these moments well by giving them space and showing them self-regulation. It will teach them so much and do wonders for your relationship in the years to come. Understanding Big Emotions Course I am rolling out a new parenting mastermind this spri...

Many of us grew up with our parents teaching us lessons through correction, we would make a mistake or do something wrong and our parents would come in with phrases like ”You shouldn’t have done that” or “That was wrong”. In this episode, I'll show you how you come in with connection instead and why this goes further towards building relationship with our kids. I am rolling out a new parenting...

I recently made a post on Instagram where I told parents they should not say to their kids “You hurt my feelings” whenever they say something mean or unkind. This post garnered a lot of comments so I thought I would unpack it further in today’s episode. The parent-child relationship differs from our other relationships, we have to give our kids space to have big feelings and say things without sha...

I have had parents suggest that connective parenting can be construed as distracting or manipulative, I think there are times when this could be true, so today I want to share with you how you can avoid this and make coming in with connection and play a way to better the relationship before trying to better the behavior.   Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deep...

As parents, we often think that we need to step in between sibling arguments and rescue the child who is the victim of this aggressive behavior from their sibling, Today on the show I want to talk about using connection and empathy instead of shame and how this shift in how I handled these situations with my kids eventually helped them to think more clearly and even work things out without me.   C...

We might think that it’s our role as parents to modify and correct the behavior of our kids, and we often do that by using rewards and punishments. But this is an archaic principle developed from lab tests with rats. Today Michelle talks about how being a parent is more about relationship management, and changing our own behavior and self-regulation is the key to influencing our kid's behavior...

If you’ve been listening to Peace and Parenting for a while you’ll have heard Michelle talk about “Special Time”. Today she unpacks the benefit it has for both your kids and you, and some of the rules and pitfalls around creating these special moments of connection with your kids. And if you have teens there are some great tips in here for how to do this with those more reluctant ages.   Working w...

As parents, we naturally resort to correction, yelling, punishments, and even shame when our kids make mistakes. But these actions often convey that our love for them depends on their behavior. Listen in today as Michelle helps you understand how to show your kids unconditional love when moments get tough.   Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ide...

Michelle shares the story behind Peace And Parenting and how a moment in the family pool lead to her discovering connected parenting. She threw away the star charts, rewards, and punishments and began connecting with her kids and it changed her life and the relationship she has with her kids.   Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ideas of connecti...

Having trouble with your kids fighting during playtime? In today’s episode, Michelle answers questions from one of her followers and gives us all tips for dealing with that one child who has gone offline and how she uses special time and roughhousing to get them back online again.   Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ideas of connection and unrav...

Being a parent is hard. There are so many responsibilities, errands, extracurricular activities, pick-ups, drop-offs, and bills to pay, not to mention your other relationships to maintain. Today Michelle gives you a reason to underparent, to sit on the couch and watch a movie or have that second bowl of dessert. It's actually a necessary part of becoming a connected parent.   Working with indi...

Sometimes it seems as if one or more of our kids doesn't have feelings, or is okay with anything. As if they are so easy in nature that nothing bothers them. Maybe that is true to some degree. Perhaps they are more easygoing personalities, but what if those feelings are there and just need a place to come out and space to be seen and heard?   Having trouble sleeping? I have been using both the...

Strong-willed kids are often sensitive, like my sweet Esme. These kids will make parenting using conventional ideas very challenging. Good for them to push back against the ideas of control and manipulation. Their internal workings tell them these tactics are attacks on their psyche. The problem is they come out fighting and then the circle of behavior begins with little hope of getting it to stop...

The feelings our children display can be difficult for us to endure. However, when we do with calm, we show them we are safe and able to be their container. As life moves on we are cementing this idea. When things are hard where will they come? But only if we can illustrate we are actually safe.   Having trouble sleeping? I have been using both the Sleep Ez Natural Support capsules and the Aromath...

Often we say our child is upset when they “don’t get their own way” but is it that simple and are they “allowed to have feelings around disappointment? Aren’t we upset when things don’t go our own way? Isn’t it true we feel disappointed or defeated? Just because they are little doesn’t mean they aren’t “allowed” to have those feelings too.   Having trouble sleeping? I have been using both the Slee...

Connective parenting is for all kids because it draws from the ideas of unconditional love and relationship instead of rewards and punishments. All children and all people thrive with connection and do not do well with punishment, belittlement, or harshness. Who wants to be treated in these ways and what does this type of treatment do to a child's brain? Find out all the answers in this week&#...

Do we actually believe we aren’t good enough parents because we weren’t good enough kids?  Were our mistakes punished and pointed out in order to make us feel bad and do we feel bad now when we mess up, chastise ourselves and hold ourselves to unattainable standards like the ones our parents held us to? I believe this could be a big part of the parent shaming cycle that never ends but continues ou...

The brain functions well with connection and is at ease when they feel good about the people that are around. Especially children and babies. The limbic system looks to connect with other limbic systems in order to feel safe. Our children are constantly looking to make connections in order to establish a deep connection with a caretaker to ensure they are taken care of. They are provided shelter,...

This realization of being a bully didn’t come to Michelle early on in parenting, but as she reflects she now sees her behavior as a young mom resembled that of bullying. The yelling, threats, bribes, and shame aren’t something any child should have to live with, and really no person. Do we want to show up in our loving relationships in this way or would we rather come to them with love and underst...