Parenting The Socially Phobic & Avoidant Adult

"Shirley" is the mother of a 35 year old with a masters degree in psychology who does not work. In this interview she describes her anguish and hope, and the insidious and complex developmental process by which her son learned social avoidance, paranoia, and over-dependence.

Lynn was told that her clingy, selectively mute (for 3 years) six-year-old daughter, would “grow out of it” by the family pediatrician, teachers, and other well intentioned professionals. The problem continued to worsen with time. “Sidney” would only talk to her parents and brother and a couple of children in school. In every other possible verbal interaction she would “shut down”. While the paren...

When I started my psychotherapy practice in 1978, I was doing biofeedback and psychotherapy for stress related disorders to empower patients to heal without medication or to get off medication. Forty-five years and over 60.000 clinical hours later I have discovered there are high performance strategies to incorporate pharmaceuticals into the treatment process. This discussion with Dr. Mathew Lorbe...

“Talking in 5 Sessions” - Zachary did not talk to his mother. He talked only to father and sister. No other person. He was totally shut down. Dad described his son as his “little butterfly”. Mom said her son “broke the glass door” that trapped her son verbally. Typically, effective treatment requires hard and sustained work. Each family has their individual learning curve. This case was exceptiona...

“We feel we gave birth to a whole new person” "Sophie" never talked in school until 4th grade. No one heard her voice besides parents, grand- parents, and sister. Mom said "we would do anything to set her free; nothing worked". Now it's "overwhelmingly positive". This interview highlights the reality that in most cases one to one counseling with a young child wit...

When considering treatment for social and performance anxiety thoughtful evaluation would say that a model adapted to the specific needs of this specific anxiety is productive rather than trying to fit the condition into rigid restrictive existing models; most noticeably the nonsensical promises and absurd research perpetuated by the CBT community. I want to be very clear. Behavior and cognition a...

Think of the last time someone tried to engage your child verbally and there was no response. As a loving parent you want to rescue your child from the stress of this kind of encounter. You probably experienced your own discomfort and anxiety, which typically results in the reflex of rescuing your child (and yourself) by talking or thinking for the child. The “freeze the moment” technique is emplo...

“Mike”, a 26 yr. old ambitious entrepreneur describes his resolution of multiple psychological challenges. With dramatic insight he communicates the impact his special education experience had on his social anxiety and self- esteem. He originally “did not understand what was going on” regarding his panic and anxiety. Before treatment he believed “he was born this way” and there was nothing he coul...

Mom describes how “Jessica” age 12 struggled with selective mutism since age 8. In addition, profound developmental and social challenges were present. “Jessica” developed a system of body language to replace her own voice. Teachers were unable to test for IQ or reading level. She totally shut down with her speech therapist. She was bullied! She took her rage out on Mom who was her “entertainment...

This is the perfect interview for people who think and wish that the young child will simply outgrow selective mutism. “Mike”, a 35-year old with SM and social anxiety describes his “avoidance of talking” because he thought “he had nothing to say”. He eventually learned this was not true as his belief and behavior were manifestations of obsessive compulsive disorder . Mike describes how the insidi...

"It was like a miracle." This interview highlights a comprehensive treatment process, which occurred via telephone and skype. The father describes the steps of The Berent Methodology including; productive diagnostics, empowering parenting, “processing”, which is the challenging, but profoundly important task of helping the child identify thoughts, feelings, and reasoning skills at age ap...

Numerous variables can enable primitive functioning, which is defined as “spending the minimal amount of energy required to sustain a baseline lifestyle”. “Baseline” refers to substantially substandard emotional growth and development. In this case the variables include learning challenges which drove performance anxiety, family distress and divorce, fragmented parenting, and an overall compulsion...

Welcome. This is Jonathan Berent. I’m going to tell you the real story about social anxiety. You are not going to hear the real story anywhere else. I guarantee you that! This is a deep dive into a complex subject the reality of which remains very misunderstood… so let’s get clinical! KENDRA age 46, mother of two, is a world renown physician who has headed numerous clinical trials and has saved ma...

“I avoided social situations; especially ones where I had to walk in by myself. More and more I made excuses to avoid. I had problems with my relationship. I was depressed”. “Vicki” discusses the process of healing.

Anger and rage occur at different levels of consciousness. Anger is energy. Unresolved; it recycles and drives obsessive worry , anxiety, and a myriad of problems from substance dependence to pain. Internalized anger causes depression. While it may sound a bit weird, repressed anger is the core emotion which drives panic. “Eric” describes the “energy” of his anger as it relates to anxiety and depr...

Kirk Rueter was a pitcher in the major leagues for 13 years. He won the most games as a lefthander for the San Francisco Giants. He and his wife Karla had two wonderful children. One had selective mutism. In this stimulating, realistic, and frank interview, the Rueters describe, in detail, their treatment experience. After non-productive encounters with previous therapists, which is very common, t...

“Mike” a corporate vice president describes his long term suffering; “I never had the possibility of finding a girlfriend. I was petrifies about finding a real relationship. Now I can let loose and socialize”. This interview includes dramatic insight into the cognitive distortions and self-esteem challenge that drive intimacy anxiety and phobia.

In this rare interview patient "Z" describes how she overcame debilitating perfectionism and performance anxiety. The average teen suffering with social anxiety does not have initiative for their mental health which requires therapeutic parenting concurrent to individual work. In her year before college "Z" beat the odds and accomplished therapeutic success without involving he...

With special insight into the avoidance-dependence dynamics of a close knit and loving family, “David” describes his struggle with learning disabilities, social anxiety, phobic avoidance, and eventual success. David’s healing journey evolved from hiding in his dorm room in college; not going to classes, alone and depressed, and avoiding all social interaction to obtaining an advanced degree, becom...

The older the child, the more that selective mutism becomes ingrained into the personality and lifestyle. It can evolve into a developmental challenge as many aspects of maturation are impacted. In this case avoidant personality disorder was in full swing concurrent with an underlying depression. This was driven by social anxiety. In this case, the teenager was a B student who was on the high scho...

The last thing 16 yr. old “Arthur” wanted was to go to therapy when he was in the midst of his school phobia. This social anxiety-driven problem had persisted since elementary school. He spent his days depressed; in his room playing computer baseball. His only friend was his cousin. His parents “didn’t know what to do”, but they learned how to enlist him in treatment. In this interview Arthur desc...

The socially phobic adult with avoidant personality and overly dependent behavior presents a complex and daunting therapeutic challenge. In fact, the mental health professions have been confounded by this clinical scenario.  This podcast provides critical information for parents and concerned persons of adults who have had a long-term struggle or paralysis with launching. Launching refers to socia...