Oz 9

Leet's been boiling up ... well, we're not sure what those are. He thought they were apples, and he was trying to make apple cider. Or maybe apple sauce, we're not really clear what he was aiming for. In any event, he ended up with something that can only be contained in these special jars the Albatros makes from clay from the bioswamp; it burns right through everything else. Anyway, if someone in...

We hope you all had a great holiday season.  We didn't. Something blew up and it stunk like crazy, but we still have no idea what it was, and Dr. von Haber Zetzer's not talking. We're not sure if that's because he's guilty or in shock, but either way, we're not prying an answer out of him any time soon. You've been listening to Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna Richard Cowen as Leet Tim Sherburn...

It's the holiday season, and our gift to you is.... some stupid. We made it ourselves.  You've been listening to Aaron Clark as Ben Bonnie Brantley as Donna Iri Alexander as Julie Lee Shackleford as Pluto Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Kevin Hall as Felonius Eric Perry as Mr Southers and Joe and Richard Nadolny is your Narrator. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Our theme and other...

Have you ever wondered about HOW the Oz ships were retrofitted for long space journeys? Us too.  We still do. Hey, stay till the end to hear the trailer for the glorious podcast Mockery Manor . HIGHLY recommended!  You've been listening to Lee Shackleford as Interviewer 1 Sarah Golding as Interviewer 2 Kyle Jones as Interviewer 3 Kevin Hall as Interviewer 4 June Clark Eubanks as Interviewer 5 Tim...

The original title of this episode bugged me, so I changed it. I can do that. If you're worried the power might go to my head, well, just wait until you see your birth certificate. This episode is a flashback in which random, weird stuff happens, just in case you were wondering if 2021 and 2022 were the weirdest history gets.  You've been listening to Eric Perry as Joe David S Dear as Tiberius Sha...

You thought your job was hard, imagine being Narrator (or Narrator 2, really) for this boatload of Twinkies. (Which, incidentally have still not shown any signs of decomposition in 2142, just sayin'.) If our Narrator makes it through his contract without developing a neurosis (or cirrhosis), well, it's not our fault. Avocado yogurt.... avocado yogurt.... Stay tuned through the end to hear the MCCA...

NOTE: Listen to the end for awesome trailers! It's true many people complain that Oz 9 is not only NOT educational, it may in fact "leach information out of your brain as you listen." (thanks, mom — real nice) We beg to differ. Did you know zebras were once called "hippotigruses" (hippotigri? whatever)? Think of how much you've learned about plants and space and maths and fugu and Sweden! Anyway,...

LOOK. I never said it would be the MORNING of September 19, I just said it would be ON September 19, so I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. It's episode 61, and incredibly, it seems our crew might have actually lost some brain cells over the hiatus. I swear, if there's a skull and crossbones on it, this crew wants to eat it, marry it, or at least put it in the garage next to something flammable. In this epis...

Written by Lee Shackleford of the awesome sci-fi audio drama Relativity , this bonus episode exposes you to yet more of Oz 9 that you were hoping to avoid. Is it possible an advanced alien species is coming aboard the ship? Well, yeah, I mean — they're in space. But, are they friendly? This is the Oz 9. What are the chances? HUGE thanks to Lee, who wrote AND produced this episode despite all our m...

We'd like to dedicate this second hiatus episode to our one fan in Zambia. To date, according to our stats, there have been 86 downloads in Zambia. We figure that's one fan who listened to every episode, including all the hiatus and bonus stuff, and to him, her, or them, we say a profound "thank you!" And the same "thank you" to everyone who listens. We know there's more important stuff you can be...

"The hiatus ate us!" That line, courtesy of the brilliant Bonnie Brantley, is all too true.  We started our hiatus with great plans to do all kinds of fun Oz 9-y things in all that copious free time, only to have our ideas evaporate in the harsh light of real life. Sorry. But here's some of us talking about stuff. Does that help? Our theme and other music is composed and performed by John Faley. O...

This one is a beast. Go to the bathroom, get some water, maybe load up on some snacks. Is your listening device charged?  Get comfy. We have a lot to tell. This season, you've been listening to: Tim Sherburn as Colin, Buck, and Emily Richard Cowen as Leet and Percival/Tiberius Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie Eric Perry as Dr von Haber Zetzer, Howard, Joe, and Mr Southers Shannon Perry as Olivi...

You've been awesome! No, really. I'd love to be able to reward your patience, but instead I just have an episode. I know it's not much, but I made it myself.  One more episode to close out the season: are you ready? No. You're not. Sorry, but you are SO not ready. You're listening to: Lee Shackleford as Pluto Kevin Hall as Felonius and Greg Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie Iri Alexander as Juli...

With just three episodes left in the season, is that a cliff I see ahead? With a small branch protruding from its face, just right for hanging? Things are moving along at a rapid pace, much like the Oz 9 isn't, and there are surprises, tears, laughter, warming of hearts, girding of loins, rending of garments, and possibly smoochies ahead. Oh, and you're gonna want to stick through the credits this...

This episode begins with a funeral, so you might want to have tissues handy. The production assistant was supposed to get hypo-allergenic flowers for the ceremony but managed to find hyper-allergenic ones, which not only make you sneeze, they cram themselves up your nose until you beg for mercy.  The PA has been fwipped, so if you have even remotely appropriate experience, we're hiring. You've bee...

We did a comic book! You'll hear us talking about the Kickstarter here, which is well and truly over, thanks for asking. Now just buy one and get them out of my garage? ( https://oz9podcast.etsy.com ) Here's a surprise: Jessie doesn't like comics. She says they're too colourful and she's never read one. I would have recommended she read them when she's not in a bad mood, but maybe that's what she'...

A rift in time and space causes 4 members of the Oz 9 crew to get pulled off the space ship (bringing the median IQ up significantly) and swapped with 4 members of the EMF (aaaaaaaaaaand we're back to where we were, IQ-wise). This is part two of a special two-part crossover with the hilarious secret agent comedy, Mission: Rejected. If you haven't heard part one yet, stop, put us on pause, go out,...

OK, OK, yes, it's late AGAIN. We know. We've been having a really rough time lately, the kids are sick, the roof caved in when we had that thunderstorm last week, and then there was that other thing.... No, you're right. None of that is true. Our alarm is a bored dude just saying "alarm alarm alarm" over and over, so clearly this is not a well-financed, slick-and-professional thing we've got going...

All the backstory you never wanted and then some. We find out some stuff about Le Bichon Frise, some other stuff about Donna, blah blah blah. Greg falls over at one point, so that's pretty funny.  I'd say "sorry it's so late," but I feel like I ought to be sorry before I say sorry. So.... It's late.  You've been listening to: Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer a...

The universe may be crashing around your ears, but as long as you know the difference between who and whom and how to scoop up a dangling participle, you'll be all right. It's kind of like knowing where your towel is. In this very special episode, a guest pops onto the ship and into Leet's arms, and for a few moments at least, all seems right with the world. A very few moments. And not really "rig...

Do you know how to disable an invisible alarm? Yeah, well, listen close; someone on our crew is about to tell you. Well, maybe... we're not entirely sure it works, so I don't know that I'd test it at the Louvre. Maybe Paddy MacDougal's Museum O'Naughty Limericks and Saucy Sea Shanties first.  Just steer clear of the green milkshakes. Actually, that's a really good lesson for the Oz 9 as well. Anyw...

The crew aboard the Oz 9 are stalactites, holding tight to the ceiling in unexpected zero Gs, and the crew on the ground are stalagmites, who might survive if a crabby, oddly dressed ancient god decides to let them go. You know, same old same old. Oz 9 is back from holiday break, though why a crew that typically works a solid seven-minute day needs a break is yet to be determined.  We hope you mis...

To punish Kevin Hall for having the gall to ... something, I can't remember what it was he did, but for sure he did something really bad to merit this kind of response.... Anyway, maybe just to be mean, we made him relisten to Oz 9, write a bunch of trivia questions, then ask them to four people who among them could barely scrape up an answer to the question of what they had for breakfast on that...

Our beloved OG Narrator Richard Nadolny wrote and reads the Oz 9 version of "The Night Before Christmas." Merry Christmas, ya bums. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

EARLIER SOUND ISSUES HAVE BEEN CORRECTED, AND OUR PRODUCTION PERSON HAS BEEN FWIIIIIIIIIIII...... What happens when the alien aboard your ship gets hungry?  Usually really gross things involving lots of blood and gore and that, but fortunately for us, the grossest thing in this episode is a small critter popping out of an orifice. Which is actually less gross than it sounds. Wait for it. The ships...