Oz 9

Humans on the receiving end of divine affections don't do so well, mythologically speaking. However, after having seen Donna in action, the smart money is on the homo sapien. Pluto better watch his gold lamé onesie , if he knows what's good for him. With this episode, we are officially halfway through Season 3 of Oz 9, so let's all take a moment to realize this crew of idiots has managed to surviv...

I'd apologize for this being so late, but if you think about it, I gave you an extra 16-and-a-half Oz-free hours, which is, like, a decade in idiot years. It's been a long day aboard the Oz 9. You think bad decision making is easy — Doritos for dinner? Yes, please. Easy! Go for a run or drink chocolate milk with vodka? Vodka. Definitely. Easy! —and yet, it's exhausting.  So, you'll get no apology...

Remember how there was that one week you were sick or maybe just on vacation but too poor to go anywhere? And you watched daytime TV, and even though you knew it was ridiculous and cheesy, by Friday you were desperate to know if little Suzy really was Armoire's daughter and if Aristato would find Nectarina in time to stop her from marrying ... I don't know, Ponderosa Jutjaw or whatever? Just stay...

What would you do if everything in your garden suddenly attacked you? Carrots shooting themselves at your eyes, radishes nibbling tiny, spicy holes in your ankles, kohlrabi shouting at you, probably in German, given how "kohlrabi" is spelled — does it seem German to you? just me? — and let's not even talk about what the watermelon is trying to do. Would you ever be able to eat a salad again? This...

Probably the most remarkable thing that happens in this entire episode is that Le Bichon Frise pronounces "assassinate" correctly. I know. We were pretty shocked too. It happens at the bottom of page 3, so if you just want to hear that and skip the rest, I don't suppose anyone would blame you. Oh, and there's a bit about a butterfly that's funny. You might want to stick around for that. Up to you....

It's really late. The kind of late that keeps on getting later until it circles back round to early. When I'm this blurry and tired, I'm likely to say anything. Like how much more bearable life became on this ship with we busted Dr. Theo out of his pod. Geeky never looked so good.... See, now what did I say? Stop with the questions and the "oooo tell me everything" eyes. Dr. Theo is extremely fond...

If you've been keeping up with the antics of that zany crew aboard the Oz 9- Have you ever considered taking up a REAL hobby? Like stamps or shuffleboard or knitting quilts or something? Or listening to Top of the Round , which is a much more sensible pastime? It's episode 44, and no one is any smarter than they were 43 episodes ago, and that includes you , since your brain is no doubt deteriorati...

Perhaps you've heard about the mold that's eating radioactive materials around Chernobyl? And that scientists are considering insulating spacecraft and astronauts suits with the stuff to protect them from solar radiation? We're not imagining things up here. We're just ahead of our time. You've been listening to: Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia David S. Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae Tim Sherburn as...

Something nefarious is happening on a golf course in French Lick, Indiana. Actually, several nefarious things. Well, OK, like, three... maybe four nefarious things, and then a whole bunch of naughty things. Look, we're losing the point here.  Look, just listen to the episode. It'll be easier than me trying to explain it to you. You've been listening to: Aaron Clark as Ben and le Bichon Frise Sarah...

Welcome back, space monkeys! We hope you enjoyed your six-week excursion ashore. Watch your step, the gangplank is slippery and also there's no oxygen out here, so look lively. Take your seats, please; we'll be setting adrift...sorry, a-sail again soon. No eating, please; we just got the toilets clean. And listen up for the security announcement. JK, there's no security to be had here, but do list...

If you've ever wondered about our crew's lives before they got wrapped up in the drama of the Oz 9, well, keep wondering, because you're not going to learn a damn thing from this disaster of an episode.  You're listening to: Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer and Sarah Golding as pretty much everybody else. Except Richard Nadolny as the Narrator. Our theme and other music is composed and performed...

If you think Oz 9 looks like chaos from the front, well, it's just as raggedy and unkempt 'round the back (if slightly less dangerous). In this bonus episode for our hiatus, our 4 newest cast members gathered to talk about life as a voice actor and the swirling tornado of imminent doom that is existence aboard the Oz 9. You're listening to: David S. Dear (Dr Theo Bromae) Sarah Golding (Mrs Sheffie...

The Oz ships failed under mysterious circumstances entirely caused by their on-board crews or natural disaster wholly unrelated to Gated Galaxies or its subsidiaries, officers, or agents. G2 accepts no responsibility or liability for loss of liberty, limb, or life due to incorrect use of machinery, gross negligence, intentional or reckless misconduct. By simply existing, you acknowledge that life...

It's the end of Season 2, and our crew are still dumb, still in space, and still hovering at the edge of death. Thanks to all the zig zagging around the galaxy, they're nearly back where they started, and the forniculator still hasn't been fixed. So, if you've been with us for the past 39 episodes, well, you probably could have skipped this bit. Let's hope Season 3 is better. In Season 2, you hear...

Episode 39 means one more until the end of Season 2, and where we're going is no clearer than the muck at the bottom of the bioswamp. But hey, you've gotten this far, you might as well stick with us a little longer. Eventually, it'll all make sense. Or not. Probably not. You've been listening to: Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Kevin Hall as Greg and Felonius Eric Perry as Joe, Dr. von Haber-Zetzer, Mr....

Look, I've been up all night, and seriously the first person to speak to me may find themselves trying to pour coffee into a stump. Like, where their  head used to be, not a tree, that was supposed to be sort of threatening and scary. Never mind. Make sure you listen right to the end as there's treats and stuff you won't want to miss.  Oh, and Head 1 finally gets a name. It's ... epic. Really. You...

Despite Joe's best attempts to keep the Oz 9 free of ... icky things, a very large, armed, and presumably hostile icky thing has taken over the bridge. This has just been one of those space voyages, hasn't it?  You're listening to: Iri Alexander as Julie Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise Eric Perry as Joe, Head 1, and Dr. von Haber Zetzer Richard Cowen as Leet and Tiberius J...

Pod poetry is generally considered to be the 3rd worst in the universe. If you have a weak liver or any sort of cheese allergy, you might want to check with a doctor before listening to this episode. You're listening to: Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna Richard Cowen as Leet and Tyberius Iri Alexander as Julie Sarah Golding as Mrs. Sheffield June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros Tim Sherburn as Co...

Beans — BIG beans — are about to be spilled aboard the Oz 9, and that could spell trouble for the crew. Especially if the beans land in a very particular way that happens to spell "trouble." And someone  aboard the Oz 9 is not doing their job. I realize I should probably narrow that down for you, as it's a hefty list, but just listen up and you'll figure it out.  You’ve been listening to: Bonnie B...

What do you do when your Otologostealth X13 runs out of charge?  That wasn't actually a rhetorical question — the manual is in Ancient Mesopotamian (we think) and none of the charging cables we have fits. Anyone? Anyway, we say goodbye to a crewmate this episode, so get your hanky ready or use your sleeve or whatever, just prepare to have your innards stepped on in the name of emotional manipulati...

No one said life in space would be easy. Though if they'd listened closely, the people buying seats on the Oz ships might have heard G2 officials mutter under their breath about how easy death in space was going to be ... Anyway, it's a Thursday aboard the Oz 9, which means Leet is optimistic about their chances of survival. He's alone in that, but hey, he's a rebel.  You're listening to: Richard...

I've pretty much decided that some weeks ago,  I ate the fugu, and everything since has been some sort of weird fever dream. I mean, that's the only thing that makes sense, right? RIGHT? You’ve been listening to: Kevin Hall as Cal and Greg the Zebra Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Eric Perry as Joe, Dr. von Haber Zetzer, and Head One Tim Sherburn as Colin and Emily Richard Cowen as Leet Aaron Clark as l...

Otherwise known as "The Origin of Colin Smith," this mini ep gives some background into- Ah ah — you almost got me there. Nope. I'm not telling. I'm afraid you'll have to listen like it's 2020 or something. You're listening to: Eric Perry as Mr. Southers Kevin Hall as Spotty Bosh and Richard Nadolny as your Narrator This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Theme and incidental music compos...

I... we... they... Seriously? This is... It just...  SERIOUSLY? You've been listening to: June Clark Eubanks as Glenda and the Albatros Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie Tim Sherburn as Colin, Buck, and Emily Eric Perry as Mr. Southers, Head 1, and Dr. von Haber Zetzer Richard Cowen as Leet Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise and Ben Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline Special thanks to guest star S...

It's the holiday season aboard the Oz 9, though how that happened when they launched in spring, like, a month ago, is anyone's guess.  But whatever the case, there's a mysterious box in Cargo Bay 7, and whether it was delivered by Santa or Satan... well, I guess you'll have to listen to find out, now won't you? You're listening to: Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Eric Perry as Head 1, Joe, and Dr. von H...