Own Your Identity

Have you ever found yourself longing to be noticed? To be chosen? To hear someone say, You matter. You’re enough. I see you. In this week’s podcast episode, I share: How the longing to be chosen shows up in our lives. Why these desires are not about shame but about deeper connection. A 7-step process to respond to intrusive thoughts and uncover the truth behind them. For more tools to live beyond...

Today, we will learn how to just be ourselves, present in the moment, without overcompensating, performing, or needing to be "extra", inspired by the carefree nature of my son on the soccer field. For more tools for living an empowered life and navigating same-sex attraction, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Today, we’re going to talk about the things we didn’t learn from our dads, or our mentors, or our peers—and how that shaped us. But more importantly, we’re going to talk about how to fill that gap. Because here’s the truth: it’s not a liability. It’s an opportunity to grow, to connect, to stretch yourself, and to celebrate the journey of learning along the way. For more tools to live beyond your s...

If you’ve longed for a life shared with a wife — a woman to build a future with, to be known and loved by, and to love in return—this episode is for you. Together, we’ll explore the deeper questions beneath “Am I Marriage Material?”

While I longed to be in the athletic, game-time locker room, energized with the team before stepping onto the field, I was doing good to make it through showering after junior high PE. If you’ve ever felt like me—like you didn’t measure up, were stuck on the sidelines, or hiding parts of yourself because you were afraid of being seen—this episode is for you.  For more tools to live beyond your unw...

Those five words can feel like a prison — locking us in shame, self-doubt, and fear. But what if that phrase could be transformed from a whisper of shame to a declaration of hope? For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions, visit ownyouridentitynow.com .

Do your same-sex attractions feel overwhelming at times? Maybe it’s a physical sensation that catches you off guard. Maybe it’s a romantic feeling that stirs something in your heart. Or maybe it’s a thought pattern that loops in your mind. These things can feel powerful, but I want you to know they are not you . They are experiences that are just passing through. For more tools to live beyond your...

When we admire something in others, it’s like God is whispering, “This is already in you. I’ve planted this seed—now let’s grow it together.” It’s not about striving to be someone else, it’s about stepping into the fullness of who He’s called you to be. For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com .

If you act out sexually with another guy, use porn, or entertain comparisons, what emotional home are you coming from? Is it loneliness? Shame? A need for validation? For many of us, those moments aren’t just about the act itself—they’re about seeking comfort in an emotional home we’ve lived in for years. For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit...

Time is sacred. It’s a gift from God, entrusted to us to use wisely. But too often we waste it obsessing over things that don’t serve us—whether it’s comparing ourselves to others, spinning in shame, or acting out in ways that don’t align with our values. It's a missed opportunity to step into the life God has called you to live. Make the best use of your time and energy and get excited about what...

When we take small, courageous steps—whether it’s replacing a limiting belief, speaking truth over ourselves, or simply showing up when it’s hard—it’s so important to pause and celebrate. Why? Because celebration reinforces the behavior. It tells your brain, This matters. This is who I am now. For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouriden...

Imagine waking up each day knowing that no matter what happens, you are loved, you are enough in Christ, and the best is yet to come. Imagine living with a confidence that isn’t shaken by circumstances, a peace that isn’t dependent on outcomes, and a hope that fuels you forward. That’s the power of certainty. And it’s available to you right now. For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex...

Have you ever felt like you’re just too much for people? Like your personality, your struggles, or your past make you a burden, a liability, or someone who just doesn’t fit? If that’s you, I want you to know you're not alone.

For too long, the world has told men that gentleness and sensitivity are weaknesses. That to be a “real man,” you have to be tough, stoic, and unyielding. But the truth is: gentleness and sensitivity are not the opposite of strength—they’re the foundation of it. And when you pair them with boldness, you create a masculinity that is not only powerful but deeply human. For more tools to live beyond...

Have you ever noticed how quickly your mind can turn a simple observation into a full-blown story? You see an attractive guy, and before you know it, your brain is off to the races. But what if you could stop the mental loop? You could say, "He's an attractive guy." Period. For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions, visit ownyouridentitynow.com .

Have you ever felt like you’re on the outside looking in when it comes to friendships? In this episode, we’re breaking down those barriers and talking about how to build the deep, meaningful connections you were made for. For more resources to live beyond unwanted same-sex attraction, visit ownyouridentitynow.com . Feeling stuck regarding SSA? Take this quiz to see where you are letting it hold yo...

In this episode, I share the top 3 things I sought from porn, and the 6 steps that made the biggest impact for me toward freedom from porn. For more resources for overcoming porn and living beyond unwanted same-sex attraction, visit ownyouridentitynow.com .

Satan loves to turn up the bass on our negative thoughts, but every time you make a choice aligned with faith, love, and connection, you’re tuning into God’s frequency. You’re dismantling the lies and amplifying the truth. In this episode, I'll show you how. For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions, visit ownyouridentitynow.com .

 What is more powerful— staring at our sin or staring at the face of God? Gaze at the face of God. And let His holiness, His love, and His grace bring you to your knees—not in shame, but in awe. For additional tools to live beyond unwanted same-sex attraction, visit ownyouridentitynow.com

When you stay open in the midst of discomfort, you give yourself permission to hope, to dream, to love, to fail, to get hurt, and to rise again. That is the stuff of life. And it all starts with a willingness to sit in the discomfort, to hold space for the impossible, and to trust that something beautiful is on the other side.

In this episode, you'll hear men speak directly to the young man I call Timothy. When I record each of my podcast episodes, I imagine sitting across from him in his living room, letting him know he is not alone and is more powerful than he thinks. I've invited others to do the same. Listen in. Interested in joining a 12-week coaching group with me and a small group of men? Learn more and b...

My five-year-old son came up to me with this big grin on his face and asked, “Dad, can we wear matching clothes today?” He wasn’t trying to prove anything. He just wanted to connect. He wanted to say, “You’re like me. I’m like you.” It inspired me. For tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com .

Some mysteries are traps —they pull us into obsession, comparison, or fear. Others are healthy invitations —they call us to grow, to trust, and to live more fully alive. In this episode, I explore both. Visit ownyouridentitynow.com for additional resources.

This is the story of how my dad and I came in and out of each others lives. Whether you have been deeply hurt or have hurt others deeply, I want you to know you’re not alone. If you are experiencing unwanted same-sex attraction, visit ownyouridentitynow.com for resources.

Showing up fully in life regardless of my attractions or the story I told myself about them was a must for me. I have too much to give to stay stuck. Why is change a must for you?