Outer Circle Inner Stillness

In today’s interview, I get to interview Michele Mannix about her recovery journey. Michelle recently celebrated 38 years of sobriety! She is a clinical professional, teacher, trainer, and avid runner! She’s worked for years in the mental health community, with houseless folks, people with long term mental illness, and supporting peers and other professionals in their sobriety. She is in recovery...

We’ve all heard we need to slow down. But how do busy people really slow down? How do you know when you’ve slowed down enough? Rhys Pasimio joins up with Cole Vandervort from the Canceled Apprentice podcast in the Outer Circle Inner Stillness’s first collaboration! Rhys and Cole talk about juggling marriage and family, work and productivity, sobriety, and spiritual growth, and all the challenges w...

Where can one go to find Orthodoxy spiritual practice, mindfulness, physical fitness, and vegan cuisine, all in the same group? Does such a place exist? The answer is, Yes!  At the Praxis Wellness Center, in New Jersey, hosted by Cornelius and Jaimie Swart, you can embark on a wellness journey that tends to your body, mind and, soul. In this episode, I interview Cornelius about the Praxis gro...

How do you teach someone how to be sober? Do you teach theory? Behavior? Practical skills? Or should you invite them into an entirely different way of life, and a web of relationships? This challenge faced by addictions counselors and recovery specialists overlaps heavily with the priestly task of catechizing people on their journey into the Orthodox Christian church. Moses-Rhys Pasimio is an Orth...

"Getting into gratitude is the treatment for sobriety fatigue." What do the 3 Circles look like when practiced over time? 25+ years into sobriety, do the circles look the same as when you started? Do they change? Do they expand? In this episode, I interview an individual who has been clean and sober since 1989. He shares his Circle Plan as it was in early recovery, and how his circle plan has deve...

“In recovery, I now have the gift of choice.” Meet Orlando Rivera, addictions counselor, teacher, mentor, sponsor, and in recovery from drugs and alcohol for more than 30 years. In this conversation, I ask Orlando about his life as a sober person, what has changed since beginning recovery, and what needs to be in place to continue in a sober way of life. He says, “I don’t make space for relapse,”...

It happened again. A pastor in the prime of his ministry years was caught up in sexual scandal. Pornography. Secrecy. Affairs. Multiple partners. Drama. Everything we've seen before. And it's bad; we could even say reprehensible. How did this happen? And what does it have to do with recovery work? Once again, addiction is not about sex, and it's not about drugs; it's about the compulsive patterns...

How do you recover from something you can’t quit?” Sobriety from alcohol and drugs is easy in once sense because you don’t need them to live. But what does sobriety look like from food? From sex and relationships? From money? After 34 years of recovery from process addictions, Dr. Tracy Zemansky has discovered that successful recovery hinges on continuous self-evaluation. All of our life experienc...

“A seeker is never finished seeking.” Welcome to another Lives of the Sober conversation! Today we meet Jim Pender, from Calgary, Alberta. Jim has been in recovery from alcohol abuse for 38 years. As he shares he story, he shares many things he’s read and written, especially around spirituality. In our conversation, we explore what spirituality is, and why it is an essential feature of a recovery...

“Recovery is an inside job.” Welcome to a new series within the series - Lives of the Sober. In this series, I interview individuals who have achieved 25 or more years of sobriety. I ask them what they have done for nearly three decades to stay clean and sober, and live a healthy life. We talk about the daily practices, basic beliefs and assumptions, values, conflicts, and cautions. We talk about...

What is healthy sexuality? Hint - it’s not always abstinence! Rhys approaches the conversation from the world of therapy, compulsive sexual behavior, sex/porn addiction. A major task in recovery from compulsive sexual behavior is figuring out healthy sexuality. Does this mean abstinence? Does this mean monogamy? Does this mean heteronormative sex? Or does it mean more mindfully engaging in what ev...

In recovery work, we often hear this idea of the Accountability Partner, and we generally hear it’s a good idea to have this person in our lives. But what is an Accountability Partner? Who should this person be(or not be)? What should they do or not do? And if you are seeking the accountability, what is your responsibility in the relationship? All of this conversation demands that we first define...

When is acceptance a strength, and when is it merely deferment as a version of avoidance? Acceptance is a complex concept that often gets casually thrown around in recovery circles. Many of us memorize the Serenity Prayer early on in our process, and this drills into our minds the idea of “Accepting the things we cannot change.” This conversation brings up questions like, What is and is not my res...

In this episode, I conclude a mini-series asking the questions, How does one measure progress in recovery? How does one tell if they are growing in sobriety work? My take is that there are a few specific measurement rubrics, but the truly good indications that actual growth is happening become more and more elusive as the growth goes more and more internal. Once again, sobriety, like its counter p...

We continue exploring this question of how to define sobriety, and progress in recovery. In particularly, we address concerns of partners watching their loved one in recovery and wondering how to tell if any progress is being made. Ian and his wife are currently working to redefine sobriety from pornography abuse, incopororating a harm reduciton approach. Dan is completing his CSAT credential and...

Here's a scenario. One partner is in active addiction. They he or she gets into recovery. But that person has a partner who's been hurt, deceived, betrayed, and really confused, and now that partner is asking...how do I know my partner is making ANY progress in sobriety at all? For that matter, the person in recovery may be asking of themselves, “How do I know I’m getting any better?” Rhys and Ian...

The counseling field has long recognized group counseling as consistently being one of the most effective treatment modalities, and contexts for healing and growth. We counselors often talk about the idea that our deepest wounds come from relationships, and are best healed…in other relationships. We believe this, but recognize that many people are uncertain about group. We could say skeptical, res...

When sexualizing others is a problem, what do you do? In Orthodox Christian thought and practice, we recognize the Image of God in everyone. This becomes the key to an inner transformative process that can heal our desire for sexual gratification at any cost. When we can see each person as an Icon of Christ, and venerate them, strive to see the fullness of who they are and who they can be, glorifi...

In the course of recovery from patterns of compulsive sexual behavior, many people recognize a need to take the work beyond merely avoiding erotic imagery, but also work to master erotic thoughts. We experience urges, at times very intrusive urges to sexualize other humans, and we have a desire to stop doing this. It’s a monumental task! How do we do it? Attack! Avoid! Ignore the urges! That will...

What is the human person, and how shall we best understand him or her? Why do we react to others the way we do? Why do we fall into the patterns we do? Most importantly, how can gaining a greater understanding of our interior worlds help is to grow in health, in sobriety, in presence and connectedness, and grow closer to Christ? Rhys Pasimio and counselor colleague, Orthodox friend, and fellow pod...

How are you struggling today? Rhys and Ian muse over the struggles inherent to life, to work, to recovery, to marriage and family, to spirituality. We talk about the weight of life, and the importance of margins. Being present with our families and important people is vitally important, but the whole world seems bent on keeping us away from presence. What do we do about the ongoing struggle before...

Meet Ian Nelson, recovery peer, spiritual explorer, questioner, ponderer, and one able to learn from the least of these. Rhys and Ian reflect on their experiences growing up in the church, developing careers in the mental and behavioral health field, and working through their own recovery processes to explore the concept of Radical Acceptance, and why we should practice it in recovery and in the s...

What does a spiritual recovery process look like for someone who is non-religious? Why should the recovery journey have a spiritual base in the first place? What are some practical ways that a person can begin to implement a spiritual practice if they have never done it before? Rhys talks recovery and spirituality with Taralynn Rayburn, an addictions counselor, and the founder of Sisu Healing Part...

Once upon a time, Rhys hosted a podcast called SMART Counsel ("Perspectives and resources on Spirituality, Mental health, Addictions, Relationships, and Trauma.") Today's episode is a nugget from the archives of SMART Counsel, featuring one of Rhys' favorite colleagues, Ben Poling. Ben is Licensed Professional Counselor in Oregon, as well as a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. In this episode, he...

What is this neurofeedback and how does it support sobriety? How does it support presence? What is the value of technologically assisted self-reflection in achieving and maintaining an inner calm? Joshua Moore is a renowned neurofeedback practitioner, counselor, and teacher in Vancouver, WA. He has worked extensively to be able to provide the highest quality neurofeedback services at the lowest po...