Our Modern Emotional Lives

What if money were a person with whom you were in a relationship? If you thought about that person the way that we think about money, it would probably be a very unhealthy relationship. Today we explore your relationship with money and how to improve it. What you appreciate appreciates, so aligning yourself with appreciative thoughts about this needed resource is an important first step in improvi...

I have come to realize on my own journey that you can't ever change something permanently when you hate it. It seems like a contradiction. After all, if you didn't hate what you want to change, then you wouldn't want to change it, right? This can be a very tough concept to get your head around, but bear with me today as I take a shot at explaining it to you. Remember, situations themselves do not...

As human beings, we have a very limited perspective of the world around us. It's something to which we don't usually give much thought, but science even tells us that the human brain and the human eyes are only able to perceive a negligible percentage of the electromagnetic light spectrum.  We make meaning based on what our limited perspectives are capable of understanding, and this can be so free...

When it comes to teaching Thought Work, I am ultimately teaching how to take charge of your own authority. Many of us, especially women, will believe what someone else says or thinks about us over our own opinions, and some of us do this without even realizing. We don't realize that we aren't claiming our own authority. Listen in as I tackle the idea of why it's so important that we claim our own...

Living with resentment, even if it's in the basement of your mind rather than the living room, can be very draining to our batteries and can make for a very difficult way to live. I should know, because one of the things that drew me to Thought Work was how it helped me look at my resentment in a new way.  Our brains are, by nature, repetitive, which is one of the reasons why it can be so easy to...

Most of us are taught from a young age to be good, and some of us have come to think of this as a bad thing, that rules stifle creativity and individuality. Rules can be a good thing, but because we learn them as children, we sometimes shape our identities around them and think that we can never be good enough. As children, we are often instructed to do (or stop doing) something that goes against...

I am so thrilled to welcome Kristen Gilliland to today's podcast. Kristen is an organic chemist by training and is currently working at the Warren Center for Neuroscience Drug Discovery here in Nashville, currently acting as Director of Outreach and Advocacy. In that role, she teaches neuroplasticity to teenagers. She is also a musician and a mom. Tune in to hear her talk about how her sons profou...

Many of my clients like to be in control and take on a lot of responsibility, and when I tell them that they are responsible for their thoughts, they tend to take on even more responsibility. That's why I want to take this episode to discuss responsibility - what you are responsible for and what you're not. There are three common examples of too much responsibility being taken on, including but no...

Here in Nashville, there have been peaceful protests lately trying to push legislators to place a ban on assault rifles, and most of the people protesting were teenagers. This really got me thinking about positive things that I would like to share with today's youth, and I narrowed that down to six things, hence today's episode. Included in the six ideas I have to offer youth to help empower them...

Dr. Jay Wellons is the author of the beautiful memoir All That Moves Us: A Pediatric Neurosurgeon, His Young Patients, and Their Stories of Grace and Resilience . He is the chief of pediatric neurosurgery at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital.  This episode was recorded just days before the tragic shooting at The Covenant School in Nashville. Dr. Wellons' voice is relied upon by many in the medical co...

I did my first webinar three years ago, so I went back and revisited that webinar only to realize that it was much better than I feared. I was undoubtedly nervous and am much more confident now, but I was much better prepared for it than I had realized. That also got me reflecting back on my work over the last three years and my belief in the importance of what I teach. Learning about how your bra...

Many of my clients are women in midlife, and most of them are working and/or taking care of children. Many of them are also dealing with issues involving aging parents, and that often leads to them worrying about their own aging. Aging has three dimensions to it: physical, cognitive, and emotional. Listen in as I discuss how that last one, emotional, is the only one that doesn't actually have a di...

What is self-sabotage, and why does it feel so terrible? Self-sabotaging is when we create unnecessary problems for ourselves that get in the way of our goals, and part of the reason that it feels awful is that we blame ourselves for it; we think that we are the problem.  Remember that our primitive brain loves familiarity and repetition. It serves up familiar thought patterns in an effort to keep...

I have talked a lot on the podcast about how to reduce unnecessary suffering, but if there is unnecessary suffering, then that begs the question of whether or not there is necessary suffering. The short answer is yes, and it's something that some people call clean pain. Think of the loved ones you've lost, the homes that you loved that you had to leave behind, or the beloved jobs that you had to l...

Listen in today as I share a story about a client who felt conflicted between her compassion for her mother who was going through a tough time and her responsibilities toward her job, a story that serves as a perfect example of the Thought Work that I teach and talk about on this podcast. We often create a lot of unnecessary suffering for ourselves when we don't bring the Thought Work back to ours...

If I were to ask you how you use your personal power, what would you say? Do you know what your personal power is? Your thoughts are energy, and energy animates your body. What you choose to think and believe acts as your own personal steering wheel, and every single one of us underutilizes this power. On this episode, I share three main ways that we tend to misuse our personal power, including (1...

I have a client who recently expressed worry that she isn't doing enough for her kids, an example of how we set ourselves up to be spinning and anxious. How do you know when you have or haven't done enough? The real fear around whether or not you're doing enough for kids is the fear that if something goes wrong in the future, you will hold yourself accountable for it. However, it's important to re...

I recently took a trip to Canyon Ranch in The Berkshires, the ever glorious destination health spa. I went by myself for my birthday, and listen in today as I talk about how that went for me and how I have changed so much since the last time that I went. It was such a great experience, but I do want to talk about what I believe to be a missing component from what was offered. We need to learn not...

I have a very special guest today. Sam Quinones is a New York Times bestselling author and much admired journalist, and he also happens to be my husband. Sam has achieved something many of us seek - a deeply fulfilling career.  In this episode, we focus on his path to becoming a journalist including some of his early influences and pivotal moments. We also talk about the craft of writing and what...

We all have similar blindspots when it comes to our belief in our ability to change. In this episode I share common misconceptions about what it is really like to change.  Remember that change doesn't mean that we will never feel negative emotions again, nor should it. Negative emotions are part of our design, and they are necessary and helpful.  Show Highlights what makes not knowing so powerful...

We don't always realize it, but we hold onto things - both material and immaterial - mostly out of fear that there won't be something to replace them. However, not all of those things serve us, and we can't allow new things to enter our lives without making space for them. Clearing space physically can help clear space mentally, so I am giving you a few resources on how to organize your home and h...

I want to spend the first episode of 2023 sharing an individual story from over the holiday. Sharing such stories can help people see elements of themselves in them and give people hope which is what I am hoping will happen for those of you who need it. So many people get caught up in the feeling of being trapped in a situation and not knowing how to cope with a challenging emotion. They feel help...

On today's episode I speak with Dr. Brian Wu, a psychiatrist who has a special interest in helping people get unstuck from symptoms that are blocking their full alignment. He has been a supporter of my work and has some refreshing ideas about what is needed in the mental health space.     Show Highlights Dr. Wu's academic background and current role  what a psychiatrist is and what they do the imp...

With this podcast episode being published close to the very end of 2022, I want to encourage you to think about the year ahead and how you can decide to make 2023 a year in which you step into a more peaceful version of yourself. What does it look like to be more peaceful? How do we actually go about achieving that? Listen as I guide you through a mini-meditation that will help you achieve it. Rem...

Listen in today as I share some questions that were submitted for coaching to a group that I am part of, including a question from a person who doesn't like living alone, how to improve on a difficult relationship with a family member, and how to make new thoughts stick when you're using Thought Work. Our thoughts about the facts of our lives lead to feelings, but those thoughts are not facts. Lea...