On Her Way - with Grief and Loss by Beryl Botman

Meet my only blood sister, Veronica Klassen, in this episode of On her Way in Conversation. We talk about her role as eldest daughter of our family and being my role model on so many levels, including teaching and leadership. If you have a sister to whom you are eternally grateful for her love and sacrifices that made you thrive, join us in this episode. 

 On Her Way in Conversation with Laurie Gaum with yet another brave and humble person of great faith whose convictions drive his life, no matter what the opposition and persecusion. Laurie speaks about his role as senior trainer facilitating deep and personal work in gender and sexuality issues. He shares the successes and fulfillment as part of his daily routine and also how he copes on a persona...

You'll understand why I just had to choose Prof Elna as what she would call "partner" and I "guide and pastor" when I asked her to join me on my spiritual journey during my period of deep loss and grief.  In this episode of On Her Way in Conversation she speaks of her groundbreaking career and what keeps her grounded in faith and commitment to people and the earth. I hope you too find it encouragi...

 On Her Way in conversation with Celeste Amoo, teacher, educator and master linguist - a conversation between two longtime friends  deeply connected. We share many journeys in education and friendship on different continents together and apart.

Lynelle Kenned doesn't only sing. She puts her life and career in perspective and speaks about her multi-disciplinary offerings and what it takes for her to be an artist.

On Her Way in conversation with Ilse Botman. Our relationship as mother and daughter has evolved over a number of stages of life. We are so similar and so very different.

On Her Way in conversation with Marlow Valentine, Regional Programme Coordinator at Inclusive & Affirming Ministries (IAM). We talk about Marlow's experience and understanding of faith practice and impact

In Conversation with Prof Ronelle Carolissen reveals a relationship initiated through her working with the late Russel Botman as a clinical psychologist teaching at Stellenbosch University. She expresses her views on the role of psychology in communities. We also speak about our encounter at the launch of my first book, With (-out) You as well as her becoming and being a widow.

On Her Way in conversation with the magnificent, the vibrant, the inspirational, the talented, the eternal activist, Dr Marlene Le Roux. Join us as we talk about our unique and deep connections on different levels. Soul Sisters.

On Her Way in conversation with the multi-talented Catherine St Jude Pretorius AKA Dope St Jude known to millions. We speak about our relationship as mother- and daughter-in-law. We also share our views on sexual orientation and learning. As the producer of this podcast Catherine and I also talk about our working relationship.

Dr Robert Steiner is as dynamic in conversation as he is as my pastor. We speak about his ministry in Rondebosch United Church as I am particularly impressed by his consistently engaging sermons and how he conducts his relationships in the congregation and beyond. I also declare my concern about his selfcare in our conversation. 

Charlene Nissen and I have been friends for more than 45 years, and through all that time we’ve managed to stay deeply connected. Our conversations have always carried both laughter and honesty, and the support we give each other has never wavered. We began our teaching journeys in different communities on the Cape Flats, yet our paths have always felt intertwined. Charlene’s heart for inclusive e...

Belinda Jackson translated both my books, "With (-out) You" and "Still, love remains". Having trusted her with sensitive content of my story, our conversation explores her career path leading up being a language practitioner who works delicately with content in journalistic, editing and translation practices.

Beryl Botman invites her last born, Roxanne Botman, to join her on her couch. This conversation explores their relationship and life together after the loss of her father. Roxanne also reflects on the books about grief and loss that Beryl wrote.

I mean this quite literally. Finding my way, mostly on my own takes much courage, determination and confidence. I mean traveling locally or anywhere else in the world takes definite decision making including finding travel mates or taking to the road on my own. I’ve tried breaking the routine of the daily grind by traveling in different ways, and might I add, very rewardingly.

Having written  With (-out) You / Sedert die dood ons skei and Still, love remains / Steeds bly die liefde led to the challenge of publication. I found it to be not such a simple matter. Having not been able to find a willing established publisher, I had to make another plan. In fact, my process led to self-publication. This was a world completely foreign to me and I had to learn much and fast. He...

Telling stories is not only one of the ways to shine a light on our lives, it is living our lives, sharing our lives. In With (-out) You / Sedert die dood ons skei and Still, love remains / Steeds bly die liefde I told part of my story, the story of my loss and grief. I wish to give you a glimps of the process I followed.

Choosing where to live continually proves to be a deeply emotional decision. However, those decisions also have to be practical and financially sound taking your new circumstances into account.  And all of this during a highly stressful and demanding period of  your life and moving house just seems too much to have to cope with.

Going public with my psychic encounters is challenging because it might be a touchy subject in some communities, including the ones I live in. Glad, though to share such valuable insights into myself, parts of me I would otherwise be unaware of and mostly confirming readings into my life situation. Psychic encounters brought affirmation, new direction, a sense satisfaction and connectedness beyond...

At first and for a long time, love interests, other than the love lost, seems unimaginable. It takes real courage to open oneself up again for new possibilities and this might not come without it’s own complications. Opening up exposes one’s vulnerability, you have to protect yourself and at the same time try not to expect to find another Russel.

The death of my beloved, my love confused my understanding of love. The death of my beloved, the love of my life, confused my understanding, my knowledge and experience of this love.   The feedback to my book further moved me into rethinking love in its new form.

The beginning of a new year might be as good a time any to consider how to consciously release your pain and sorrow.  Dig deep inside yourself to get in touch and let the inner you flow. Be creative and let it go.

Is the first year of grief really the worst? Remembering and feeling the physical absence on all your significant days can be really traumatic. Days of celebration, remembrance and sadness continues throughout the first year. Does it stop or even just get better thereafter if you lean into them?

You are responsible for your own well being. You don’t only have to take extra care of your health for the period immediately after your loss to see you through the most critical period but it should be a longterm commitment. Health matters not only includes your body but also your mind, emotions and spirit. Pay all of these your attention and take care of yourself.