ON BOYS Podcast

Dr. Jon Lasser believes we all have a role to play in expanding boys' opportunities. The Man Box and Boy Code still limit and shape boys' behavior. And although there are plenty of books and TV shows that encourage girls to step past gendered boundaries, there are far fewer resources for boys and their parents. "As a feminist dad, I found a lot of great resources for girls that showed...

Jack Kammer says boys are affected by sexism too.  Boys and girls who engage in the same exact behavior may be treated very differently. And yet, when we fail to acknowledge that fact, we contribute to the gaslighting of our boys. Because the truth is that males and females both experience advantages AND disadvantages related to their sex and gender. But while a lot of societal effort has been dir...

Did you know that boys may be more susceptible to respiratory viruses than girls? Society tells us that boys are strong and tough, but the truth is that males are biologically fragile -- from before birth all the way through to death. Male fetuses are more likely to be miscarried than female fetuses, especially during stressful times. Men tend to have weaker immune systems than women, and males ar...

Video game addiction Google that term and you'll get 95 million results -- and the first one is for an addiction treatment center. But is video game addiction really "a thing?" More importantly -- what can parents do if they think their kid's gaming is out of control? Step one, says Chris Ferguson, a psychology professor and co-author of Moral Combat: Why the War on Video Video Gam...

Before he started The Tyler Merritt Project or created his viral video, Before You Call the Cops, Tyler Merritt was a confused, young black boy trying to make sense of all the expectations and stereotypes swirling around him. "I wish somebody had really sat down with me as a young person and simply said, 'Hey, Tyler, you're going to make a lot of mistakes. A lot of mistakes. And those...

Is wilderness therapy a good choice for troubled boys?  For boys who are self-harming, self-medicating with alcohol or drugs, or in trouble with the law? Is wilderness therapy the solution for families who have tried everything and are desperate to help their sons? It can be, says Jane (name changed at her request, to protect her family's privacy) and Tami, two parents who made the decision to...

Need some practical parenting strategies to help you manage hitting, backtalk and disobedience?  Amy Williams has solutions. Amy is a school counselor who also helps overwhelmed and stuck parents. And let's be real: we all feel overwhelmed, stuck, and unsure at various points during our parenting journey. Giving ourselves grace is step one to moving forward, Amy says. Pause. Take some deep bre...

Hunt, Gather, Parent, by Michaeleen Doucleff, shares ancient wisdom that's still relevant today: the key to raising healthy, happy, helpful humans is to engage them in work of the family and community.  That's a truth we seem to have forgotten in our collective desire to optimize our kids. Our intentions are good, but our actions -- signing our kids up for multiple extracurricular activiti...

Teaching boys to drive can be exciting, scary. and intimidating. Boys are more likely than girls to speed, drink while driving, and take chances when they have passengers in the car. "I think he thought driving was going to be super intuitive," says Carole, mom of Lucas, a newly-licensed driver. "When we started, he was like, 'Whoa, this is not at all what I thought it was going to...

Let legendary parenting author Steve Biddulph teach you how to be a fully human parent. His book, Fully Human: A New Way of Using Your Mind, came out a few months ago and Janet talked to him about it then. Later this month, he's releasing a brand new online talk about being a fully human parent, so we're re-running Janet's conversation with Steve and encourage you all to check out his...

Parenting boys thru divorce is...challenging. Hard. Not fun. And also, important and worthy of your best effort. Unfortunately, most people going through divorce are not exactly in peak condition. Divorce and separation is all kinds of stressful, and it's near-impossible to be your best self when so much of your time and energy is focused on survival and figuring out what the &#*(^ happene...

Is healthy sports parenting possible? At elite levels of competition? If you watched the 2020 summer Olympics (held summer 2021), you know that the stress & strain of elite competition was a big focus this year. Simone Biles had the “twisties.” Michael Phelps talked about his bouts with depression. A few months after the Olympics, Biles and other former Olympians testified (again) about the ab...

Boy moms make the most effective boy advocates.  That's a lesson Gemma Gaudette learned early on. Gaudette, the host of Idaho Matters on Boise State Public Radio and the mom of 2 sons, ages 13 and 9, didn’t really understand the challenges boys face in the world until she had sons. Now, she believes that moms of boys need to advocate on their behalf. "If we don't stand up for our boys,...

Like it or not, your son will probably become sexually active at some point.  Do you... a) buy him condoms? b) let his romantic interest stay over? c) say ABSOLUTELY NOT to sleep over requests? d) freak out? Or....???? Note: there are no "right" answers to these questions. Each family has their own values regarding sex, and each of our sons is a unique human being.  -- which means that we...

Is your son musical?  Yes, he is -- even if hates singing, doesn't play an instrument, and acts up in music class. Human beings are inherently musical creatures, according to Joan Koenig, author of The Musical Child: Using the Power of Music to Raise Children Who Are Happy, Healthy, and Whole. In her book, Joan says that music: Helps develop vital physical coordination Fine-tunes our speech &a...

If you attended Seth Perler's TEFOS summit -- The Executive Function Online Summit -- and want more info, you're in the right place. (And if you missed the summit, no worries! You can still access recordings, and you'll get a lot from this podcast episode as well.) We first talked to Seth Perler about executive function in April 2021, and what he said was so foundational, so important...

Amy Lang is our go-to sex ed expert. She's a mom of a son and she's not afraid to talk frankly about sex, pornography, relationships and consent. Our January 2021 conversation with Amy -- all about how keep boys safe online -- was so enlightening and informative that we've decided to run it again. Some gems: “All the research shows that parents are the most important influence when it...

Meghan Leahy is one of our favorite parenting experts. Her advice is grounded in experience (she's got 3 kids and is a parenting columnist for the Washington Post), understanding (again: she's got 3 kids!), and compassion (like the rest of us, she's exhausted and overwhelmed). She's honest, engaging and an absolute hoot. Her latest book, Parenting Outside the Lines: Forget the Rule...

Yes, you can thrive with chronic illness and special needs. In fact, you can create a Very Happy Story no matter what challenges you're dealing with on the home front. Liza Blas, a mom of two, created the Very Happy Stories podcast and blog after realizing that her overwhelm was overwhelming her family. She also realized that not talking about her family's challenges -- ADHD, depression, c...

What do you with troubled boys? With boys who are failing school, sneaking off, and using substances? Boys who have resisted disciplinary efforts and redirection? That's the question at the heart of Kenneth R. Rosen's latest book, Troubled: The Failed Promise of America's Behavioral Treatment Programs. There are no easy answers to that question but Ken's book makes one thing abunda...

When we become parents, someone really should hand us a book that details, exactly, how to NOT raise an a-hole.  Karen Alpert (of the blog Baby Sideburns), a mom of two and author of Mamas, Don't Let Your Kids Grow Up to be A-Holes: Unfiltered Advice on How to Raise Awesome Kids, recognizes that parents are terrified of inadvertently raising assholes. "It is definitely one of my big fears,...

Dr. Michele Borba knows how to help boys thrive. She's a "boy mom" -- a mother of 3 grown sons, educational psychologist, and the author of Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine. Many boys are stressed but don't tell their parents because "they don't want to hurt us," Dr. Borba says. They want and need coping skills, and aren't get...

Ever wished you had a guide to raising boys? A manual you can consult when your tween son confuses and frustrates you? Now, one exists -- and it's Jen's first book! The First-Time Mom's Guide to Raising Boys: A Practical Guide to Your Son's Formative Years, by Jennifer L.W. Fink, was released on July 6, 2021. It's a handbook that's intended to help moms navigating the tween...

Parenting a child with ADHD or neurodivergence can be challenging. Especially if you're also neurodivergent. "When my youngest son was about 3 weeks old, he started crying and it really never stopped," says Rachel Blatt, co-host of the podcast Constant Chaos. At first, they thought it was colic, but visits to multiple gastrointestinal specialists didn't help. When he wasn't yet...

You may wonder, how do you raise a feminist son? Or you might be wondering, WHY would you raise a feminist son?  What if we phrased it this way: How do you raise boys who respect and value all humans? "The word feminist, all over the world, has taken on so many definitions and meanings," says Sonora Jha, author of How to Raise a Feminist Son. "To me, the best definition is still Gloria...