ON BOYS Podcast

Britt Hawthorne, a mom of 2 boys and author Raising Antiracist Children: A Practical Parenting Guide, says that raising antiracist kids requires teaching them to identify unfairness. It includes incorporating an anti-bias lens when doing, well, almost anything. Britt's oldest son was about 12 years old when his homework required him to imagine he was a colonist in Jamestown or Plymouth and wri...

Sleep is as important to our teens as our toddlers. But ensuring a teenage boy gets the sleep he needs is even more difficult than convincing a toddler to nap that day after you move him from the crib to a toddler bed. Teen boys are even more strong-willed than toddlers -- and most are bigger and stronger than us too. Add in school schedules that are totally out-of-sync with teens' circadian r...

Dads need to help boys understand and shape masculinity. In years past, fathers were often "there, but not there," according to Craig Wilkinson, a dad of two and founder of Father a Nation, a South African nonprofit that addresses gender-based violence, crime and fatherlessness by restoring and equipping  men to be nation-builders, fathers and role models. Dads focused on providing for the...

 Gender bias affects boys’ experience in schools. It’s most often unconscious and unintentional bias but it affects how our boys see themselves and how they feel about school and learning. And until we admit that fact and grapple with the gender equation in schools, things aren’t going to get much better. Educator Jason Ablin learned that lesson the hard way. Early in his teaching career, he assum...

Finding ecohappiness can decrease boys' anxiety levels and increase family harmony.  There's a strong -- and direct -- link between time in nature and mental health. Human beings require nature exposure for optimal physical and mental health. Of course, that's easier to say than to achieve in modern life, when many of us live in urban environments and use screens to work, learn, and so...

Mathew Blades was a father and successful radio DJ before he recognized the impact of generational trauma on his life. On his boys' lives. Sure, his childhood included a lot of screaming and some spanking. And sure, his father died abruptly when Mathew was just 23 years old. Stuff happens. Mathew did what most people do: he buried his pain and pushed through. That worked, more or less. Until t...

Why are video games so important to boys? That's the question a listener sent in response to our recent call for questions. The listener who asked that question just happens to be Jen's brother -- and another one of their brothers happens to be a video game designer, so we got them all together to explore the role of video games in boys' lives. "I remember feeling so ticked when th...

Sex talks with tweens can be...awkward.  Even Amy Lang, ON BOYS' go-to sex ed guru, stumbled through her initial sex talks with her son. "I thought I'd be great at it, but I just wasn't," she says. "I realized I'd rather talk to a 15 year old about their pregnancy than talk to my five year old about his penis." But boys need accurate information about human bodies,...

Raising boys brings up all kinds of questions! Kristen asks: Is it normal for a 9-10 year old boy to get into physical altercations with friends at every play date? Juliann asks for help figuring out how to best support a son who is "generally non-ambitious" when he finally identifies and pursues an ambition. She asks: How can I tell when I'm giving enough support without smothering or...

How can we help boys develop healthy body image?  That's not a question parents of boys asked in previous generations. Girls, parents thought, were the ones at risk for body dissatisfaction, given the constant onslaught of heavily stylized (and often Photoshopped) images of impossibly perfect and thin women featured in magazines, movies, and TV shows. But boys aren't immune to body image p...

The Global Initiative for Boys & Men (GIBM) focuses on research and advocacy to support boys and men, according to Sean Kullman, the group's president. GIBM has established a BAM index, a Boys and Men Well-Being Index, an open-source resource packed with information and statistics the reflect the well-being of boys and men. The BAM Index has data in 6 categories: Education Physical and men...

When they realized that schools wouldn't change quickly enough to meet their kids' needs, members of the Black Mothers Forum opened microschools, with an eye toward ending the school to prison pipeline. Existing school leaders and educators “really did not understand how to create a safe and supportive learning environment for our Black children,” say Janelle Wood, President of The Black M...

Four years of ON BOYS podcast! 214 episodes, more than 900,000 downloads, and countless deep, moving moments. We've talked about vaping, sex, boys & body image, consent, connection, and misconceptions about boys. We wrestle with gender stereotypes, education, and the real-life struggles of living with boys. Janet and Jen collectively devote up to 10 hours per week to ON BOYS podcast -- 10...

How do we raise LBGTQ allies? We know boys are (still) subject to a lot of homophobia and transphobia. Our culture is full of messages that tell boys it's best to be straight and stereotypically masculine. And though many of us think we're raising our boys to tolerant, inclusive, and accepting, they may be getting a different message from what we don't say. Chris Tompkins, author of Ra...

How many of these myths & misconceptions about boys have you heard? How many do you believe? "Boys are easier than girls." "Boys are less emotional than girls." "Boys leave their families when they grow up." "With boys, you don't have to fight over clothing choices." "There's less to worry about with a son than a daughter when they're teenagers a...

Empowering boys is one powerful way to address the boy crisis. Some people -- often, people who don't have or work with boys -- wonder why boys need to be empowered. After all, they say, men still control most businesses and countries. But boys struggle in the classroom and in our communities. "Dangerous double standards" exist regarding sexual abuse, depending on whether the victim is...

Brain-body parenting can help you raise joyful, resilient boys, says Dr. Mona Delahooke. Boys' behavior offers clues as to what's going on inside the child -- and deciphering what's happening internally can help us tailor our response to the unique human individual before us. It's time to  "move from focusing on behaviors to focusing on how each child perceives, understands, an...

Picky eaters... are incredibly common. Nearly all kids go through food jags. ALL humans have food preferences. Navigating all of this around the dinner table, though, can feel frustrating and overwhelming. Even for experts. "I felt confident going into parenting!" says Rebecca Toutant, a registered dietician who began her career helping children with autism and sensory issues expand their...

Gender norms still (and unnecessarily!) limit boys, says journalist Lisa Selin Davis, author of Tomboy: The Surprising History and Future of Girls Who Dare to be Different. Which may not be an accident, since gender norms (as we know them today) were essentially created to ensure that male children grew into straight, non-homosexual men. "The way we conceive of boys' stuff and girls' s...

Nefertiti Austin’s son was 6 yrs old when she realized he’d “have to learn that his race and gender could get him killed," she writes in Motherhood So White: A Memoir of Race, Gender, and Parenting in America. That's not a lesson white boys have to learn, and that's one consequence of living in a country where motherhood is so white. As Nefertiti points out in her 2019 book, the defaul...

Sports and masculinity have long been intertwined. For a long time, boys and men were the only ones who were allowed to play sports. Athletic fields and locker rooms were seen as places where boys became men. We’ve seen where that can lead. We’ve seen little boys & teenagers told to “man up!”, “rub some dirt on it” and play past the pain. We’ve heard “locker room talk” and know all about horri...

Yes, it's possible to have a kid and a life. A life beyond babies, boys, and ballgames. A life that includes your hopes, dreams, and passions. It's normal (and healthy) for your career, marriage, and friendships to shift and evolve when you become a parent. But you don't have to give your all to parenting. It's okay (and healthy!) to reserve some time and energy for yourself. "...

Which ON BOYS episodes were the Best of 2021?  Photo by Olya Kobruseva from Pexels The answers may surprise you! 5. Highly Sensitive Boys with William Allen By age 5, William Allen understood very clearly that he was different. People told him to “man up” and that he “needed to be tougher.” Their words and reactions to his emotions told him, in no uncertain terms, that he was not living up to the...

ON BOYS listeners really want to know how to keep boys safe online. Which makes sense, given that the internet is a portal to all kinds of free and easily accessible porn -- as well as conspiracy theories, disinformation, and peer pressure. In January 2021, we asked our friend Amy Lang to help us address this question, and she did not disappoint. The resulting episode was so well-received that it...

How do we raise next gen men -- men who can thrive in the 21st century? "When you're on a playground, you can't yell, 'Hey, Tommy, cut that hegemonic masculinity out!'" says Jake Stika, co-founder of Next Gen Men, a Canadian organization dedicated to changing how the world sees, acts and thinks about masculinity. Parents, educators and boys need concrete, practical suggesti...