ON BOYS Podcast

Summer slide (noun): The loss of academic skills and knowledge over the course of summer vacation Photo by bcrumpler via Flicker Parents (& educators) have long worried about the things kids "forget" over the summer. This year, on the tail of a pandemic-interrupted school year that launched valiant attempts at unplanned remote learning, parents (& educators) are more concerned than...

Roughhousing can teach boys about healthy touch. Photo by SnarkleMotion via Flickr Society teaches boys that there are two kinds of "acceptable" touch for males: sex, and aggression. No wonder so many boys and men turn to sex and aggression to meet their very human need for touch! Physical play -- including play wrestling, "chase" games and roughhousing -- give boys multiple opport...

Dads are so important! We can't talk about raising boys without also talking about the men who help create and parent them. Dad were boys long before they were fathers, and they understand boyhood and the path to manhood in a way we never will. So, this Father's Day, we turned the mic over to 5 dads: Doc, a Wisconsin-based father of 3 Doc & his 3 kids Doc's advice for moms of boys:...

At least 1 in 5 people are differently wired, says Debbie Reber, founder of TiLT Parenting. Differently wired kids are neurologically atypical. They perceive the world differently than their peers and express themselves differently as well. These differences can be subtle or glaring, and as a parent or teacher, it can be hard to know how to respond to these quirks. Debbie and her husband noticed t...

Black boys matter. Such a simple statement. And yet... George Floyd is dead. His name joins the long list of others (Trayvon Martin, Philando Castile, Tamir Rice, Michael Brown, etc., etc., etc...) whose lives have been cut short by racism, bias and brutality. Photo via Pixabay We here at ON BOYS are NOT OK with the status quo. We are committed to equity and opportunity, to listening and learning....

Photo by Lee Carson via Flickr  1 in 5 boys experience sexual abuse before their 18th birthday.  More than one-quarter of male victims of a completed rape (27.8%) experienced their first rape when they were 10 years of age or younger. And 43% of men report experiencing some form of sexual harassment and/or assault in their lifetime.   Today's guest, psychologist Lawrence Cohen, founded one of...

Chores, Victoria Prooday says, are the most efficient way to build our boys' emotional muscle. Prooday, a psychotherapist, occupational therapist and speaker, is convinced that self-regulation is the key to success -- and science backs up her assertion. As early as 1998, psychologists were publishing papers and chapters stating that, "Self-regulation has major, important implications for s...

There are 10 million single moms in the United States. Many are raising boys. And despite the naysayers, many are doing a great job! Is single parenting difficult, especially during a pandemic? Absolutely. But single moms have more power and potential than they realize, says Emma Johnson, aka Wealthy Single Mommy. Johnson, a single mom of two (a boy and a girl), is the author of The Kickass Single...

Is mom in control at your house?  We don't mean "in control" in the dictator sense, or in the mom-is-storming-around-the-house-yelling-at-everyone way. We don't even mean "in control" to mean "your house is neat and orderly and your children do exactly as you say." We mean in control of YOURSELF. After all, the only thing you can really control are your thoughts and...

A generation ago, few people thought much about understanding gender. Then, gender seemed simple and straightforward: boy or girl, male or female. Things are different today. Merriam-Webster declared they the 2019 word of the year, and there's increasing recognition of the fact that gender is not strictly binary. What does this have to do with boys? Well, our boys are living in a time when it&...

The phrase "adult children" is an oxymoron: the words adult and children clearly describe very different things, and it's impossible to be an adult and a child at the same time. Except it's not. Most of us are adult children; Jen is 47 and a bona fide adult, but she's also still the child of Al & Pat Wondra. She's also the parent of at least one adult child, a 22 year o...

Photo by Nik Anderson via Flickr COVID-19 (the disease caused by the novel coronavirus) has changed everything. Our daily lives now look nothing like we imagined at the beginning of the year. We're hunkered down in our homes, and wondering how to get toilet paper and flour -- basics we once took for granted. Some of us are working from home and trying to figure out how the $*#( to juggle full-...

Wouldn't it be great if boys came with a magic decoder ring to help you decode their mysteries and moods?  Dr. Cara Natterson's book, Decoding Boys: New Science Behind the Subtle Art of Raising Sons, is the next best thing. If you have boys, you'll want to add this one to your bookshelf (or check it out from your library) right now -- and you'll definitely want to read it before yo...

Managing emotions -- our boys, & our own -- is challenging in the best of times. This, most definitely is not the best of times. We're cooped up in our houses with kids who miss their friends and activities. With boys who no longer have soccer or baseball practice to help them burn off some energy. In the midst of a global pandemic that's upended all of our routines. While we ourselves...

Kara Kinney Cartwright has a message for teenage boys & young men: just don't be an asshole. The mom of two grown sons, Kara began writing Just Don't Be an Asshole: A Surprisingly Necessary Guide to Being a Good Guy as her sons were preparing to head out into the world. The project was inspired, in part, by her anxiety (have I taught them everything they need to know?) and, in part, by...

Photo by Valerie Everett via Flickr Raising boys brings up all kinds of questions. No matter how long you've been parenting, educating or working with boys, you're bound to stumble into a situation that you don't quite know how to handle -- on a weekly basis. At least. In this listener Q & A, we tackle some evergreen questions. Jen also tells you about a time she lied to her parent...

How are you coping with coronavirus?  Our lives have undergone some pretty massive disruptions over the past few weeks, and it looks like more changes may be on the horizon. We'll all learning new ways of connecting and communicating -- and we're all a bit scared and overwhelmed. That's why we recorded & released this special bonus episode. It's packed full of practical advice...

Two years. More than 100 episodes covering important topics such as boys & sex, masculinity, ADHD, mental health, honesty & so much more. But on our SECOND anniversary, we're most grateful for the relationships we've created. We're no longer simply co-hosts or colleagues; we're friends. We enjoy talking to one another as much as (we hope) you enjoy listening to us. We'r...

Do you know what the term "2e" means? Photo by Jesper Sehested Pluslexia via Flickr 2e is short for "twice exceptional," a term used to refer to people who are both highly gifted and learning disabled. As you might imagine, meeting the social, emotional and educational needs of a 2e child is quite a challenge. Ramsey Hootman is an author and mom of two, including a 10 year old boy...

Baby boys' testosterone levels are nearly the same as teenage boys'. But for the first few weeks after conception, well, there's no discernible difference between a male embryo and a female embryo. The testosterone surge that occurs in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters of pregnancy is responsible for the cascade of developmental changes that what differentiates a boy baby from a girl baby, an...

Talking about boys and sex can be uncomfortable. But if want our boys (and girls and non-binary children) to have healthy, safe, fulfilling sexual relationships, it's essential. And there's the hitch, right? A lot of us don't even want to think about our children having sexual relationships -- and when we do talk to our kids about sex, it's typically because we don't want them...

Approximately 3-10% of children have ADHD (attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder). Many of them -- the majority, in fact -- are boys. Today's guest, Ryan Wexelblatt (aka ADHD Dude) describes ADHD as "an executive function developmental delay." What that means: In all humans, the brain's prefrontal cortex (or "frontal lobe") acts as the operating system for the brain. It...

Is honesty the best policy?  Not necessarily, says Judi Ketteler, author of Would I Lie to You? The Amazing Power of Being Honest in a World That Lies. If Judi's name (and voice) sound familiar to you, it's because she's been on the podcast before: in Oct. 2018, she talked to us about parenting risk-taking boys. (Her son, Maxx, is into Gtramp, an extreme trampoline sport.) We all want...

Suicide rates among black boys ages 13-19 rose 60% from 2001 to 2017. And for children ages 5-12, black males are committing suicide at higher rates than any other racial or ethnic group. Significant numbers of black boys are ending their lives before puberty. This is not OK. "There is a lot of discussion going on about suicide, mental health, emotional wellness and stigma, much of it centered...

Photo by Kevin Dooley via Flickr How do you help boys deal with change and anxiety? And how can parents deal with boys' incessant energy?  Those are just a few of the questions we tackle in our first listener Q & A of 2020! Jacquie asked: How do you help boys adjust to change and uncomfortable situations (new school, daycare, meeting new kids...)? Eden and Katie also wanted advice on helpi...