ON BOYS Podcast

Dr. Cara Natterson’s book, Decoding Boys: New Science Behind the Subtle Art of Raising Sons, came out in February 2020 & made a big splash. Kirkus Reviews calls it, "A common-sensical, gently humorous exploration of male puberty’s many trials" and a New York Times article declared, "...for rational, evidence-based advice on how to talk to your son about every internal and external...

Dr. Adam Cox helped Janet crack the boy code, way back when she was a first grade teacher who didn't know what to do with a class full of boys. His book, Cracking the Boy Code: How to Understand and Talk with Boys, is a seminal text that contains valuable insights for parents and teachers of boys. More than 25 years ago, Dr. Cox, a psychologist, recognized that boys in his community were looki...

How do you help boys become resilient?  It's easy enough to say that resiliency is important, and we know that the ability to bounce back in spite of obstacles is essential for success and happiness in life. But how exactly does one build resilience? Contrary to popular belief, you can't teach a child resilience, says Dr. Sandy Gluckman, a psychologist. Rather, you create a climate that al...

Most of us know what consent means. But knowing what it MEANS doesn’t necessarily guarantee that we - or our BOYS - will actually be prepared in the moment…. Acroyoga, or partnered yoga, helped Sarah Casper understand boundaries & consent. "In this practice, instead of using an apparatus like trapeze or aerial silks, we're using our bodies. So there has to be a lot of conversation abou...

How much do you know about boys & anxiety? According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, approximately 7% of American children between ages 3-17 have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. Likely, the actual prevalence of anxiety is significantly higher, because many kids -- especially boys -- are undiagnosed. What looks like anger, opposition or teenage angst may actually be an anx...

Esports -- competitive videogaming -- is quickly becoming a very big deal. In 2017, 106.2 million people watched the League of Legend esports championship.  In 2020, 99.9 million watched the Super Bowl on TV, according to Reuters. Today's parents, teachers and grandparents often find themselves annoyed at the hours boys spend in front of screens, gaming. They find it absolutely absurd that boy...

What words come to mind when you hear the phrase "teenage boys"? Messy? Stinky? Frustrating? Lazy? Moody? Dangerous? Teen boys can be all of those things. (So can teen girls!) But there's also a lot more beneath the surface, and if we're to effectively parent and educate our teen boys, we have to go deep. We need to remind ourselves -- and each other -- that teenage boys are comple...

How’s school going?  That’s a fraught question even when there’s NOT a pandemic going on. Now, it seems almost crazy to ask, given that most of us are dealing w less-than-ideal educational situations.  But that doesn’t mean you have to settle for miserable. If virtual school or online learning isn't working for you, homeschool may be a good option. (And it doesn't have to be as overwhelmin...

Family meetings can you help adapt your parenting to fit the changing needs of your family.  Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels One of the most challenging (and demoralizing) aspects of parenting is realizing that you must constantly revise your parenting strategies. The tips, techniques and discipline strategies that worked so well when your little boy was 2 don't work at all when he&#3...

How are you managing screen time during the pandemic?  According to at least one survey, kids' time online has more than doubled since the pandemic began, and many kids now spend more than 6 hours per day online, in front of screens. And no wonder -- screens are now our portal to school, work, socialization and extended family. Which means that now is great time to examine our response to scre...

Parenting teen boys is not easy. They're bigger than us. Stronger than us. They speak in a language we don't necessarily understand -- if they choose to speak at all. Their focus is turning outward, just as we parents realize how little time we have left to teach them all the things they need to know before they leave home. Miriam asks: How do you find balance between keeping the bond stro...

One of our most important jobs as parents is preparing our boys for the world of work. The work world, though, has changed dramatically over the last few decades. "There's been a shift from the competitive dog-eat-dog/rat race to a flatter, faster and fairness-focused world of work," says Ed Frauenheim, co-author of Reinventing Masculinity: The Liberating Power of Compassion and Connec...

How do you teach boys money management? 34% of American teenagers don't have bank accounts and rely predominantly on cash, according to a 2019 Junior Achievement USA survey. In fact, 1 in 5 teens have never been into a physical bank and nearly a third of teens surveyed don’t have a bank account.  Like many parents, Benny Nachman initially started paying his boys' allowance in cash. But --...

Parenting outside the lines frees us up to connect with our children in an authentic way. It allows us to skip over the "must do's" and simply, instead, do the next right thing in any given moment. And if the "right thing" ultimately takes us a direction we don't want to go, it gives us the opportunity to apologize and course correct. It encourages us to trust the wisdom de...

Are your boys close to their grandparents?  Not physically close -- physical distance is often more a matter of necessity or practicality than choice -- but emotionally close. Studies have found that close grandparent/grandchildren relationships protect against depression in both groups, and at least one study out of England found that kids who are close to their grandparents have fewer emotional...

This is a really confusing time to be a boy in the United States. That's one of (the many!) insights Ryan Wexelblatt -- aka ADHD Dude -- gained while working with 14 and 15 year old boys during his ADHD Dude Summer Camp this year. In a Facebook post, he wrote: These guys see their female classmates (if they fit the narrow standards of beauty) who post the most sexually provocative pictures on...

How do we help boys listen & learn?  Image by Andrew Steele via Flickr In month whatever of the pandemic, we're all grappling with a lot of tough questions, including what to do about school and injustice and inequality. We can't give you any easy answers regarding schooling during  the cornonavirus pandemic or the fight for equality and justice. There aren't any easy answers to th...

We all want to raise good men. But how? It's one thing to WANT To raise good men, and another to figure out what that means on a daily basis. Exactly HOW do we raise good men? Aaron Gouveia is the author of Raising Boys to be Good Men: A Parent's Guide to Bringing Up Happy Sons in a World Filled with Toxic Masculinity. He's also the founder of the Daddy Files and dad to 3 boys, current...

Sassy Harvey believes "my boy can." The mother of a young son who loves dance, Barbie and princesses. Sassy started a social movement after her then 4-year-old son quit dance because he'd been told that only girls and gay people dance. Now, My Boy Can is supporting boys and their parents as they challenge gender stereotypes that so often hold boys back. "I didn't want my son to...

Can a book club help boys enjoy reading?  Yes, says Erin O'Donnell, a mom of two boys and author of How to Start a Kids Book Club. She and a bunch of other moms started a mother/son book club when their sons were in 3rd grade, on the cusp of the transition from learning to read to reading to learn. Some of the boys were already avid readers. Others were not. "We were really hoping that pee...

Back to School 2020 will go down in the annals of history. Image via PixaBay The United States (and world) is still wrestling with the coronavirus pandemic. Schools are slated to "open" -- whether virtually or literally or some combination thereof -- in a few weeks. Some, in fact, have already opened. There's so much we don't yet know about this school year -- if in-person school w...

Parenting teenage boys is HARD.  Their brains aren't yet fully mature yet they're bigger and stronger than most parents. They have more energy than their parents -- and when they are bound and determined to do what they want to do (regardless of what you or anyone else says), the energy can seem more like a curse than a blessing. Joshua Wayne is a parenting coach, speaker and dad-to-a-son....

Almost 1/3 of boys are trying to gain weight or bulk up.  For years, body image concerns were thought to be a female issue. But superhero costumes for toddler boys  now come equipped with built-in muscles, and popular teen shows such as Outer Banks cast 20-something actors with chiseled faces and abs as 16-year-olds, creating unrealistic expectations for teenage boys (and girls). This is NOT a 16...

Supporting boys' interests is essential, especially in a world that so often tells them their interests are unwelcome. Wanna wrestle? Don't; you might hurt someone. Wanna dance? Don't; that's for girls. Restrained by stereotypes, gender expectations and parents and teachers who prefer boys who sit down and take direction without comment or complaint, too may boys give up their inte...

He couldn’t sleep. Mike’s face stung from the gash and the stitches and a pulsing ache radiated from the back of his skull. His knuckles were shredded, and his arm throbbed under the thick bandages. Whether he closed or opened his eyes -- even his EYES hurt -- the images were there. Like grainy documentary footage. Some of it in motion, some of it still... That’s the start of chapter 2 of Wilderne...