On Attachment

"We've been together a year and I've just seen he's still using Tinder. Can trust be rebuilt?" Today's episode is a community Q&A, and I'm answering a hard question about rebuilding after discovering a breach of trust.  We'll talk through: Things to look for when deciding whether to stay & rebuild after infidelity The importance of the other person t...

In this episode, I'm sharing 5 tips for rebuilding after a long-term relationship ends. Let's face it: break-ups are painful at the best of times. But when the relationship was a long-term one, it can be even more challenging to navigate our "new" life without our ex in it. I'll be sharing tips to support you through the life cycle of your break-up - from the initial griev...

In this episode, I'm answering a question I receive all the time which is: "How do I tell my partner they are avoidant so that we can start doing the work?"  We cover:  The importance of being honest & self-aware about our intentions in introducing a partner to personal development work Navigating anxious attachment tendencies around the saviour complex, over-functioning and tak...

In this episode, we're talking all about apologies - and specifically, why they might feel so hard sometimes. Being able to apologise is so fundamental to healthy repair, but for many of us, can feel inexplicably challenging. After listening to today's episode, my hope is that you'll have greater clarity around why apologies can feel so hard, and how to address the underlying resist...

In this week's Q&A episode, I'm answering a community question about the (very common) tendency to lose oneself as an anxiously attached person in relationships. I'll talk through why this happens so often and easily, and what you can do to counter it.  Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up Free Training:...

We often speak about the many ways in which anxious and avoidantly attached people differ in their relationship styles. But in this episode, I'm flipping the script and highlighting some similarities between these so-called conflicting styles. We cover relationship fears, boundaries, vulnerability, conflict and more - and my hope is that you'll walk away with a greater capacity to approa...

In this episode, I'm answering the community question of "I used to be anxiously attached, but after discovering my husband's infidelity, I find myself being avoidant with potential new partners. How do I find the healthy middle ground?" We talk about changing attachment styles, fear, betrayal and how we can start to create more safety more ourselves after we've been hurt....

It's easy to feel overwhelmed and confused with the vast amounts of (often-conflicting) relationship advice going around - which is why in this week's episode, I'm calling out 5 pieces of unhelpful relationship advice, as well as some more constructive alternatives. I'll give my take on common advice like "never settle", "you have to love yourself first", an...

In our last episode of 2022, I'm sharing 5 pieces of life advice to help you enter 2023 with intention, inspiration and clarity around who you want to be and what you want to create in your life.  Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life &...

In this week's episode, I'm sharing a trend I notice in people with anxious attachment as they move through their healing journey. I'm sharing my observation of three key "stages" or mindsets that people typically fall into, and which mindset will set you up for the most success in meaningfully shifting your anxious attachment style.  Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Traini...

In this week's episode, we're talking all about anxious attachment & inconsistency. Inconsistency is a real point of sensitivity for anxiously attached folks, and we'll be talking through what that can look like, where it comes from, and some tools and reframes to support you in navigating the ebbs & flows of relationships from a more secure base.  Highlighted Links Free Bre...

This week is a Q&A-style episode, where I'm answering your questions all about anxious attachment! We'll cover what it actually means to "heal" anxious attachment, how to manage anxiety around texting someone, how to identify and express needs as an anxiously attached person, and how to deal with being on the receiving end of an avoidant partner's boundaries. Highlight...

In this week's episode, I'm sharing 5 tips to help you process feelings of regret, shame and self-blame about things that may have happened in your past relationships. Regret can be so crippling, but it can also present us with a powerful opportunity - to reflect, to learn, and to do better next time - and today's tips are going to help you make the most of your regret rather than l...

Today's episode is exploring the topic of what to do if you want to heal & grow... but your partner doesn't. This can be a really challenging experience, and is particularly common for those in an anxious-avoidant dynamic. Fortunately, this doesn't have to mark the beginning of the end of your relationship - and in this episode, I'm sharing some mindset shifts and tips so t...

In this episode, we're unpacking some of the common origin stories of each insecure attachment style. We'll look at what causes anxious attachment, dismissive-avoidant attachment and disorganised/fearful avoidant attachment, with a particular focus on early childhood and family systems. Key themes discussed include inconsistency, emotional neglect, and chaotic home environments, and how...

In this week's episode I'm answering your questions - with a particular focus on anxious-avoidant relationship dynamics. We're discussing why people with an avoidant attachment style might use evasiveness or dishonesty as a distancing strategy, how to communicate boundaries around space with an avoidant partner, how to navigate trust & privacy, how to approach the topic of exclu...

This week, I'm sharing 5 tips to improve your relationship communication skills.  Communication is one of those areas of relationships where most of us are running on a less-than-ideal autopilot. Fortunately, you can learn new communication skills quickly and easily, so that you start seeing immediate returns on investment in your relationship.  In this episode, we cover things like validatin...

This week, we're diving into 6 signs that you're becoming more secure in your relationships. Often our attention is focused on what's wrong in our relationships - on where we need to be working to improve. So it's a refreshing change to be able to share with you some of the signs that the work is paying off, and you're becoming more grounded, confident and healthy in the w...

This week, we're talking all about self-worth. Self-worth is something I get asked about a lot - so I know how much people struggle with feelings of unworthiness and low self-esteem. To that end, I'm offering you 5 ways to start building up your self-worth so that you can feel more confident and comfortable in who you are and what you have to offer.  Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Train...

When it comes to building healthy relationships, all roads lead back to boundaries. In this week's episode, I'm offering 5 signs that you might need better boundaries. The truth is, most people have poor boundaries - whether that looks like saying yes when you really mean no, taking responsibility for other people's problems or emotional states, burning yourself out or failing to fo...

In this week's episode, we're talking 5 reasons why you might be attracted to unavailable people. I'm constantly being asked the question of "Why do I attract unavailable people?" - but my response is always to ask instead "Why are you attracted to unavailable people?". We'll talk about negative core beliefs, family of origin dynamics, difficulty receiving s...

In this week's episode, I'm answering your questions around how attachment styles influence the way we relate to and experience sex.  We talk about whether casual sex is a bad idea for anxiously attached people, why sex in toxic relationships can feel so much more exciting than in secure relationships, and how to talk to an avoidant partner about sex and sexual desires. If you want to go...

In this episode, I'm sharing 5 dating tips for anxiously attached people. Many anxiously attached people have a tough time in the dating process - becoming attached too quickly, overthinking, second-guessing, and having an uncanny ability to look past red flags and become invested in someone's potential. This episode will offer you some tips and guidelines to counter these very common pa...

In this episode, I'm joined by my partner Joel to answer all of your questions about our relationship. We share everything from how we met to how we navigate conflict, our differing attachment styles and love languages, and what makes our relationship work. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd be so grateful if you could leave a 5-star rating and a review! It really does help so much. Resour...

In this episode, we're talking about whether it's a good idea to get back together with your ex - and under what circumstances. I offer you 5 questions for reflection before you make a decision, which will help you find clarity on whether it's really what you want or whether you are acting from fear, scarcity or unworthiness. Click here to sign up for Higher Love Highlighted Links F...