Office Goblin Podcast

In which the Goblins invite y’all into the existential crisis of death. Listen as they wax poetic about the soul, crying while watching Pixar movies, the joys of composting your bod, the increasingly sterile nature of death, their dislike of embalming, and some dark humor that will have you die laughing. Intro/Outro: North Oakland Extasy by Squadda B Explicit Langauge

In which the Goblins take an even deeper dive into Midwestern life and reflect on the lure of tornados, being slicker than a boiled onion and fine as frog hairs, going golfing using hail, marking yer territory with some milk crates, nasty and gross summers, to divide or not to divide the Midwest, and the ongoing appreciation of Missouri (not really). Be mindful of the barking spider, demons. Intro...

In which the Goblins bust out the “ope” and “sneak right past ya” into the magic and mystique of the Midwest. Filled with a plethora of midwestern slang and colloquialisms, a positive attitude, corn, the questionable midwestern status of Ohio, the possibly neutral and adaptable midwestern accent, and how to stay blessed. The Midwest - you’re fine, but it’s not just Chicago. Intro/Outro: North Oakl...

In which the Goblins wipe the dust off their memories and review their favorite antique store and flea market finds. Featuring a crash course of what is the difference, whether dolls or mirrors are creepier, gettin’ holy with the holy water containers, having beautiful little glass heads, and getting yourself a nice secretary desk. Intro/Outro: North Oakland Extasy Explicit Language

In which the Goblins discuss animals that should have been cryptids. With recommendations to avoid rides in submarines because of the bigfin squid, the avocado body and vampire teeth of the deer mouse, honoring the moss piglets who will outlive all of humanity (seriously), S finding everything in nature delightful, and the ever-popular platypus. Prepare to be amazed and avoid Google images. Intro/...

In which the Goblins encourage you to hold onto your nuggles as they discuss their honorable mention cryptids. From going squatchin’, discussing graceful mermaids and their heavy metal sisters, getting in touch with one’s Irish roots, confirming that Scotland does have all the badass creatures of lore (y’all wish your country’s official animal was a unicorn), gifting a werewolf some pantaloons, Fl...

In which the Goblins have the ultimate countdown of their top 5 favorite cryptids. Featuring the grace and mystique of vampires, something screaming in the woods, appreciating a certain cryptid’s buns of steel, having all the love and sympathy for the ever-relatable squonk, and motherf*cking dragons. Intro/Outro: North Oakland Extasy by Squadda B Explicit Language

In which the Goblins invite y’all to get anxious about anxiety, with some honest conversation. Including tips on how to tame your inner tension, recognizing the anxiety and striking while it’s hot (with some ice cubes actually), normalizing the general state of things, and how to remain flexible with something as wily as anxiety. Intro/Outro: North Oakland Extasy by Squadda B Explicit Langauge

In which the Goblins crack open a leather-bound book of fine fanfiction writing. From breaking down the laws and physics of the omegaverse, the mental gymnastics of inserting your name while reading, the math of time spent reading by the number of words, what the Goblins look for when perusing fanfiction, and how it is always a pulsating rod bigger than your arm. As Garrett Watts once said, “Don’t...

In which the Goblins encourage you to stay hydrated while enjoying a nice chat about anime. With discussions on the madness and sadness that is season 6 of My Hero Academia, another deep dive into the psychological onion that is the Todoroki family, mixing up all the anime people, Shotooooooo, #the one that gets hard, demon Michael Jackson, having all the time for the soft characters, and the Gobl...

In which the Goblins discuss the pros and cons of birth control, how to be a poop donor (bet you didn’t know about that one), tampon use mythology, some tales of sex-ed, petitioning to use #lil pee pee as a clinical term, and how this episode is not at all about house music. Intro/Outro: North Oakland Extasy by Squadda B Explicit Language

In which the Goblins discuss the time Mario Lopez was kidnapped by a ghost who haunted a bed and breakfast that also catfished someone who was killed by an icicle. From singing some holiday tunes, progressive children’s shows, waging war using gift wrap, leaving the tree n lights on year-round, the curse of the perfect holidays, the mystique of Fran Drescher, and lots and lots of (accidental) arso...

In which the Goblins do a brain dump with a roadmap and explore what it is to be in one’s late 20s. From throwing some salt on a watermelon, food sensitivities and allergies to everything and nothing, being thirsty (and not in a fun way), slathering your neck stump with moisturizer, adequately stretching those limbs, being brunch bitches, and maintaining the hot mess of a sleep schedule. Beware, i...

In which the Goblins unearth tales of embarrassment and second-hand cringe, from childhood to adulthood. Dare to listen as the Goblins share stories that involve mostly bathrooms and/or people. From a lack of spatial awareness relative to people and things, lots of poo, the dangers of a Home Depot, and the fear of whether anyone was there to witness the cringe. If a cringe situation happens and no...

In which the Goblins discuss the trials and tribulations of going to the cinema. Includes dodging mystery fluids on seats, the gamble of good seat-mates, wanting more anime on the big screen, turning off the damn phone, the conundrum of the unfocused viewer, potential accommodations to enjoy watching fine pieces of cinematography, and the majesty/heathenism of hot chocolate movie theater popcorn....

In which the Goblins invite you to Stardew Valley to race with some beans. From a lack of coordination for driving or weaponry (excluding bows), to the stress of escaping Slenderman or some zombies, big-boobed vampire ladies, the magic of games within games, good geometry graphics, and the friendship-destroying powers of Mario Party. Intro/Outro: North Oakland Extasy by Squadda B Explicit Language

In which the Goblins take a trip down ye olde spooky memory lane and discuss their favorite costumes and Halloween memories. Featuring the fabulous and glamorous home-made costumes, the power and versatility of a onesie, unfortunately-structured Christmas tree costumes, peeled grapes and jello, being a delightful feral child, Borat, Tammy Faye Baker-inspired eyelashes, and having onion-like layers...

In which the Goblins continue their spooky book chat. Featuring many boo-tiful puns, coughing, Florida Man energy being served in Ohio, team fae v team bae, our recommendation to not join a cult, more coughing, ultra-warlocks, and avoiding dark tunnels and shacks, Goddamnit. Intro/Outro: North Oakland Extasy by Squadda B Explicit Language

In which the Goblins return goblinier than before, if that’s at all possible, and encourage y’all to join the gob. Including the social networking of demonologists, Baptist vs Baptist, book club anarchy, gettin’ the heebie jeebies, the mystique of the haunted house, #Siggy, and accidental possession. Featuring books and more books. Intro/Outro: North Oakland Extasy by Squadda B Explicit Langauge

In which the Goblins revisit endometriosis. From the fear of period cups, treasuring a good gyno, reproductive system-based fallacies, the mystique of two separate holes (if you know, you know), and laughing while crying through the hell that is endo. It ain’t just terrible period cramps. Intro/Outro: North Oakland Extasy by Squadda B Explicit Langauge

In which the Goblins invite you to the iconic House of Bucci, which in reality is the last two (shared) brain cells of D and S. From headless Barbies, the majesty of Breyer horses, the importance of having a Volkswagen Beetle to roll in style, D’s war on lawnmowers during the work week, and how these two goblins are sweaty and struggle to focus. Special guest James Patterson (only in spirit) P.S....

In which the Goblins are left with more questions than answers - what is the hair gel budget in an anime, does Kirishima harden that hairdo, what is up with that mysterious wind in windless places, what is the perfect ratio of hair to yiddy size, and how they too can achieve a luscious Goblin mane. Intro/Outro: North Oakland Extasy by Squadda B Explicit Language

In which the Goblins discuss fabulously hair-raising trends of years past and present, including the raw power and timelessness of mullets, doing yourself a favor and getting a clip-in bang, raven conspiracies, glitter spray abomination, team gel vs team mousse, and the holy trinity of M’s. Intro/Outro: North Oakland Extasy by Squadda B Explicit Langauge

In which the Goblins show resilience and still have skin on their faces. From being your own test subject, the glory that is sheet masks, getting your bath bomb on, and using 2% salicylic acid to wash the skin sins away . . . and hydrogen peroxide . . . and rubbing alcohol . . . and astringent . . . Your dermis is showing! Intro/Outro: North Oakland Extasy by Squadda B Explicit Language

In which the Goblins take ragin’ to another level. From conspiracists of the cult of Elon Musk, telling only the truths, being kind to your surroundings and its creatures, and how breathing while eating should be forbidden. Intro/Outro: North Oakland Extasy by Squadda B Explicit Language