Nuzzle House

We learn: Catherine gets delusional, and Nelly might have a crush My dishwasher is leaking Isabella is barely introduced and we already hear she’s going to die Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/wuthering-heights-emily-bronte/17467979?ean=9781912714070 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contribu...

We learn: I got the WRONG CLOCK from Germany Guys, Heathcliff is BACK Does Heathcliff actually have a revenge plan? Or is he just talking a lot about it? Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/wuthering-heights-emily-bronte/17467979?ean=9781912714070 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/ja...

We learn: I finally conquor saying “Thrushcross Grange” Catherine is an affluent nanny-slapping, baby-shaking jerk I picked ‘phallus #5’ in Baldurs Gate Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/wuthering-heights-emily-bronte/17467979?ean=9781912714070 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar...

We learn: Want to read a book from the point of view of a man writing what he can remember someone else telling him in his journal? I have a European cold Their might have been a ghost? Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/wuthering-heights-emily-bronte/17467979?ean=9781912714070 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip j...

We learn: You can make an airtight, spaceship-like capsule with just blankets Little boys still think about girls, even in the apocalypse I’m going to write a book called ‘The Power of Sitting’ Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/a-pail-of-air-fritz-leiber/11967340?ean=9781515405641 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their t...

We learn: Can Christmas be racist? Of course it can. You want to spend your Christmas listening to the longest short story in the world? You want to open presents with your family while you listen to me desperately trying not to say racist words? Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/beasley-s-christmas-party-booth-tarkington/20625204?ean=9781835524398 Listen anywhere: https://...

We learn: Another story where children are treated like adorable pets. There’s an open market for babies in the woods? I wasted my new Christmas decorating on a horrible story Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/christmas-eve-at-swamp-s-end-norman-duncan/6974744?ean=9781979327909 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip...

We learn: Grandma baby-porn from the turn of the last century was horrible I’m GOING to GERMANY to drink beer from a glass boot and embarrass myself I’ve never read a commercial before until this story. I’m decorating for Christmas Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/69532 Visit: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://...

We learn: oh my god- after over two months, I finally finished the goddamn book. I think that Granny B is the biggest ‘7th virgin’ in this story. I’m GOING to GERMANY. We’re done here. Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Legend-Seventh-Virgin-Victoria-Holt/dp/0385006098/ref=sr_1_1?crid=39QY8HRHDDDMQ&keywords=The+Legend+of+the+Seventh+Virgin&qid=1695607300&sp...

We learn: Kim is back! And it’s not looking good for Karensa This book is TOO LONG and I’m TRYING to get to Germany There are some dead bodies in the mine Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Legend-Seventh-Virgin-Victoria-Holt/dp/0385006098/ref=sr_1_1?crid=39QY8HRHDDDMQ&keywords=The+Legend+of+the+Seventh+Virgin&qid=1695607300&sprefix=the+legend+of+the+sevent...

We learn: I can’t read a holiday story without worrying about pedophiles I’m learning horrible German phrases so I can get people in Germany to leave me alone the “Do it Yourself Home school” Website loves to push stories written by people who were home schooled Go on, read it for yourself: https://diyhomeschooler.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/b030f-8f374-e4369-7e7db-captain_christys_thanksgiving...

Gestating the Curious Mind: Reads 'The Legend of Wolf-mommy' We wrote the book about a man with a werewolf for a penis. Enjoy. Listen Anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

We learn: Karensa’s idiot kid accidently murders the drunk For some reason there are flies in my basement, which is normally a sign that my house has a demon in it. Karensa’s son dissapears- but then, it’s fine. So it’s a non-event. Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Legend-Seventh-Virgin-Victoria-Holt/dp/0385006098/ref=sr_1_1?crid=39QY8HRHDDDMQ&keywords=The+Legend+of+the+...

We come up with the idea that a man's phallus is actually the werewolf We learn: We bust out the Franzia for our comeback Turns out? 'whole body werewolves' are losers We're still podcastings 'first married couple' Listen Anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

We learn: Karensa gets married to Johnny for almost no reason- but to piss his family off? She has a baby boy, and is all smug that she can now rule the abbas with an iron fist Tension is finally created when she realizes that if anything happens to Judeth, Justin and Mellyora could get married and have a kid - which will make Karensa useless. Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Le...

We learn: The whole “it was all a dream” concept has been around forever I didn’t come up with ANY spooky sound effects How can you drill holes in a boat while you’re swimming for your life? Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-empty-house-and-other-ghost-stories-algernon-blackwood/355875?ean=9781790219377 Visit: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contri...

We learn: Apparently the Abbas is so amazing you’ll marry anyone to get into it. If you want to get into the abbas, you will consider marrying a rapist I have a flight at 4 in the morning and I’m still putting this episode out. Someday SOMEONE will appreciate the work I do. Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Legend-Seventh-Virgin-Victoria-Holt/dp/0385006098/ref=sr_1_1?crid=39QY8HR...

We learn: I have to keep making the longest episodes in the world to get through this book before Christmas The mice in my basement are eating the peanut butter without getting caught in the traps Poor people feed off the misery of the rich Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Legend-Seventh-Virgin-Victoria-Holt/dp/0385006098/ref=sr_1_1?crid=39QY8HRHDDDMQ&keywords=The+Legend...

We learn: If someone’s sibling dies and you have the same name- you’re IN We’re 100 pages in and the story is kinda getting started The Twins won against stupid Texas! Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Legend-Seventh-Virgin-Victoria-Holt/dp/0385006098/ref=sr_1_1?crid=39QY8HRHDDDMQ&keywords=The+Legend+of+the+Seventh+Virgin&qid=1695607300&sprefix=the+legend+...

We learn: Rich people used to lay down traps for the poor The mice in my house have begun negotiations Make the rich kids work for YOU Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Legend-Seventh-Virgin-Victoria-Holt/dp/0385006098/ref=sr_1_1?crid=39QY8HRHDDDMQ&keywords=The+Legend+of+the+Seventh+Virgin&qid=1695607300&sprefix=the+legend+of+the+seventh+virgin%2Caps%2C97&...

We learn: Rich kids are the worst It’s fall, and the mice are back I don’t trust this “Granny Bee” Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Legend-Seventh-Virgin-Victoria-Holt/dp/0385006098/ref=sr_1_1?crid=39QY8HRHDDDMQ&keywords=The+Legend+of+the+Seventh+Virgin&qid=1695607300&sprefix=the+legend+of+the+seventh+virgin%2Caps%2C97&sr=8-1 Visit: https://linktr...

We learn: This is like reading an episode of Friends I learned the phrase “throwing soft-boiled eggs at an electric fan” For some reason there is a bunch of egg references in this book Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/carry-on-jeeves-warbler-classics-annotated-edition-g-k-chesterton/19970747?ean=9781959891406 Visit: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by con...

We learn: I don’t know how this book works anymore Were the weasels tall, or weasel sized? My basement has gnats now. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-wind-in-the-willows-the-original-1908-edition/18894925?ean=9781645941606 Visit: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

We learn: Popularity in this world is based on how many bird-friends you have The author wouldn’t stop writing about the sea This toad is seriously 6 feet tall- he rode a HORSE, and drove a HUMAN CAR Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-wind-in-the-willows-the-original-1908-edition/18894925?ean=9781645941606 Visit: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by cont...

We learn: Animals have their own gods Toad is still an idiot Apparently toad is at least 5 feet tall and can wear a human woman's clothes? Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-wind-in-the-willows-the-original-1908-edition/18894925?ean=9781645941606 Visit: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzz...