Not Your Mother‘s Book Club

Corn-Toes, Bunions, and Hooves, oh my!  APRIL FOOLS! Mikayla’s pregnant and riding a unicorn. No, we will not be taking questions at this time. Instead, we will be reading you a short story from Chuck Tingles’ erotic collection, Buttception. Yup…you read that right. “A butt within a butt within a butt” (Tingles). He means serious business…no funny stuff…only anal. 

Faeries, Curses, and Spell Check, oh my! It’s St. Patty’s Day Smutz! Make sure to grab your clovers cause you’ll need some extra luck this week when we read Getting Lucky with the Leprechaun by Jessie Sherwood. This book is sure to have you…sorry babes…this one is sooo bad. We can’t even come up with anything witty to say so…good luck. May the Irish be with you. 

Mirrors, Cracks, and Thumbs, oh my!  What do billionaires and vampires have in common? Book deals. Your smuts are back at it this week with Bared to You by Sylvia Day. Will these rich people live to rich another day or will their mediocre issues consume us all? We love a rhetorical question. 

Ridges, Knobs, and Tails, oh my!  This week’s episode is ribbed for your pleasure. Join us as we read Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon. Will this alien have you screaming in pain or screaming in pleasure? Either way, we’re shooting for the stars and landing among the evolved peni…penises? Science.

Texans, Fashionistas, and Plumbers, oh my!  We’re back Smutz! Fresh off the dick. Ready to please and traumatize our favorite smutz for another season! Our first episode back we are bringing back the one and only Yvonne Lindsay with her book, Marriage by Contract. Are you ready to sign on the dotted line cause our settlement will only include a Texan gentleman.  

Premiers, Patreon, and Merch, oh my! Support your favourite mistresses and get so many perks in return! You can become a DP at patreon.com/notyourmothersbookclub

Donkeys, psychics, and sergeants, oh my! Ho, ho, ho, hoes! Happy Holidays to all our smutz. Hope you were all naughty this year. For this extra special holiday episode, we read Yule Be Mine by Lori Foster. The reindeer are in hiding and the donkeys are out to play.

Impaled, ballooned, and reflected, oh my! We're back, Smutz, and spookier than ever! Did you really think we'd abandon you on the sexiest holiday of the year? Welcome to your worst nightmare. For this very special Halloween episode, we will be reading Touch of Evil by C.T. Adams and Cathy Clamp. Is she sexy or is she spooky? Listen if you dare. Do you have the guts?

Cars, Christ, and cum, oh my! Don't be sad smutz, for this too shall pass. This isn't goodbye, it's see you later. It's not you, it's us. We gotta go our own way. But before we end our season, we will leave you with one more orgasm served on a silver platter by Jasmine Haynes' Past Midnight. Let's drive off into the sunset together, cock in fist. See you next Valentine's Day. Rub one out for us. W...

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read a listener submission! We have titled it "Sunday Morning Cunnilingus." Enjoy, smutz!

Fluids, juices, and geysers, oh my! It's another episode of episodic episodes and some episodes. Thus marks the conclusion of all things corona virus. Bid thee farewell and blessed be. For all funeral information please email bustyfrenchbeauty69@gmail.com . The email will bounce. In the name of the Billy, the Billy, and the Billy Mungus. Amen.

Finland, France, and flying, oh my! Guess who's back back back again? Did you really think we'd end the season without consulting the Ferret Queen herself? M.J. Edwards is back baby with her third and hopefully final book in the infamous series, Kissing the Corona Virus 3: The Mutant Strain. Have your vomit bags at the ready 'cause this book will have you soaring miles high. Please direct all comp...

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "Warm N' Wet" by tweakmymeter. You can find more of their stuff at reddit.com/user/tweakmymeter

Crying, sobbing, and bawling, oh my! This episode will have you tearing up, smutz! Grab your box of Kleenex because Anne Rice will have you expelling liquids from all of your orifices with her famous novel, The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. She's a tear-jerker... emphasis on the jerker. CONTENT WARNING: Episode contains scenes of spanking, degradation, and sub/dom sex play.

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "Pleasuring Erin on the Beach by Joseph Benson. You can find more of their stuff at josephbensonstories.medium.com

Backs, thighs, and breasts, oh my! It's August, bitches, and the man of the month is half-naked and hammering your nail with audacity. Round of applause for Cait London for coming up with this hunky hunk of a book titled (you guessed it) Man of the Month: Fusion. He's here to fix your house and won't let anything, especially his daughter, get in the way of his sex life. You ready? Trigger Warning:...

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "House by the Creek" by Lush Luscious. You can find more of their stuff here .

Growling, panting, and nuzzling, oh my! The dog days are over this week because doggonit, we found it. Master of Wolves by Angela Knight is sure to get you howling at the moon. If you're good... you'll get a treat.

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "Enemies in the Woods" by claircupperotica. Find more of their stuff at wattpad.com/user/claircupperotica

TED Talks, elevator music, and the mafia, oh my! Please welcome to the stage, Spicy Italian Criminals! Hands up if you've ever had a sexy elevator fantasy. Well, get ready, because this week we are cracking into Trouble in High Heels by Christina Dodd. Knives at the ready, smutz, 'cause we are slicing panties and taking names.

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "Of Horniness and Highlighters: A Workplace Masturbation Story" by Kiki Wellington. You can find more of their stuff at medium.com/@KikiWellington

Under-face, virgin sacrifice, and Ruby, oh my! Hope you missed dragon smut, 'cause we found a dragon in the basement this week and maybe some sex? We still aren't sure. This week's book, George and the Virgin by Lisa Cach, will have you getting your virgin sacrifices in a row and summoning Nacho Libre to save humanity. Hike up your silver tights, y'all, 'cause this week will have you tapping out f...

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read Her Name Was Lacy, Did Her Panties Match? by Katebriggswrites. Find more of their stuff at katebriggswrites.medium.com

Fingers, mouths, and wanuses, oh my! Due to popular demand, we finally caved and will be reading The Duke and I by Julia Quinn, aka Bridgerton. We love to please our Smutz and wanted to know what all the hype was about. Will we be disappointed or shimmying our chemise? Click play to find out.

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "First Time Making My Girl Lose Control and Squirt Everywhere" by BikerDaddy666. You can find more of their stuff at www.reddit.com/user/BikerDaddy666