Not That Damn Show

This is not a normal episode. After a heartbreaking loss in the NTDS community, we’re going live to talk, listen, and try to make sense of something awful together. If you’re struggling or thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988. It’s free, confidential, and available 24/7 in the U.S.

We brought in the spouses for this episode and within five minutes we were trying to launch a diabetic pee whiskey brand called “The Sweetness” From there, things somehow got worse. We talked about the Folsom Rodeo skydiver who almost got turned into a patriotic tent stake, Mikey’s deep hatred of birthday sombreros, and whether a UPS driver throwing a box at a charging dog is self-defense or proof...

The whole gang is back, which means the episode immediately goes off the rails and never even pretends to recover. It starts with Patreon math, starving African podcasters, Fourth of July jello shots, and the uncomfortable realization that OnlyFans has better analytics than most businesses. Then Random Facts shows up and ruins everybody’s day with pearlfish living in sea cucumber butts, tapeworms...

We took a week off, came back with three hosts, and immediately started doing math on how this show costs about 75 cents an episode, which somehow turned into us being the cheapest whores in podcasting. Mikey went to San Francisco for his birthday, saw lowrider gangsters blasting Miley Cyrus like the founding fathers intended, and somehow came home angry about some lying table-stealing breakfast g...

Ian ditched us for work, so Arnie States showed up, which immediately made the show feel like somebody handed the mic to a man banned from several Costcos. Stroke explained his Florida oyster pearl hustle like he’s running a seaside jewelry cartel, which somehow turned into “a pearl necklace from Stroke,” because this show has the maturity of a middle school locker room with Wi-Fi. Jess the song g...

Stroke was out this episode, so we did the responsible thing and replaced him with Rick, our actual lawyer. Smart move, honestly, because this episode probably needs legal supervision. We started with a titties hat, then a dick hat, somehow invented “digital AIDS,” revisited the workplace phrase nobody should ever say out loud, and then took a hard turn into couples splitting bills 50/50. Joint ac...

Everybody’s barely here, everybody’s allegedly mad at everybody, Stroke is late, Ian has to leave, and somehow that still counts as a functioning podcast… because standards are dead. We’ve FINALLY got the June shirt of the month (Everything is Fake and Gay) Mikey is throwing a party at the Boardwalk Fourth of July weekend, Jenn starts wondering if she’s in menopause. an trying to start his new apa...

This episode started with a simple relationship question and somehow ended with cousin confessions and discussions about butthole licking. The big debate: if someone ghosts you after three months, are they responsible when you completely lose your mind afterward? The jury was divided. We also discovered that Florida's most misspelled word is apparently "school," held a spelling bee for grown adult...

This episode started with Jenn disappearing before showtime and somehow got worse from there. Stroke introduced a song called Don't Put Bananas In My Butt , which immediately destroyed whatever credibility we had left. Then we stumbled onto a Florida music festival charging $34 for a turkey leg and spent the next twenty minutes trying to figure out whether that counts as theft. We also uncovered A...

Where’s Stroke? We don’t know so naturally we got into an unnecessarily long discussion about AI gender swaps, lesbian filters, whale sperm perfume, and whether a grown man deserves five million dollars because a cruise ship deck was hot in Florida. We listen to voicemails, read your comments and check Craigslist where we find twinks and pregnant pillow princesses. There’s also a guy using AI to f...

After taking a week off, the gang comes back like four exhausted mall cops trying to process a world where people are emotionally cheating with AI girlfriends. In this episode of Not That Damn Show a lawyer got caught doing deeply illegal things with the family dog, and somebody in Florida almost burned down an apartment over missing apple slices. Ian launches into a full boomer meltdown over pape...

We’re off this week, so we dug through the NTDS vault and pulled out one of the most catastrophically stupid games we’ve ever played. Jen brought in inmate dating profiles and forced us to blindly pick our ideal prison soulmate without seeing pictures first. Which somehow turned into four grown adults profiling criminals based on hobbies, grammar, HVAC certifications, and whether somebody watches...

Since we’re off this week, we figured it was the perfect time to revisit one of the dumbest things this show has ever done: reading viral BookTok smut novels out loud like emotionally damaged audiobook actors. What started as “this should be funny” immediately turned into phrases like “wet slabs,” “intimate muscles,” and multiple conversations nobody wanted to have about fingers in asses. Also, so...

This episode of Not That Damn Show somehow starts with dead bodies getting goosebumps and ends with a grown man explaining why he refuses to eat “BBL ass” like he’s delivering a TED Talk from a gas station parking lot. The gang falls down rabbit holes involving church fights, giraffes tasting piss, Pornhub page 448, HOA snitches losing their minds over Govee lights, and a law student secretly film...

This week starts with Mikey accidentally turning NOT TDS into Pornhub Lite after trying to monetize the website and immediately getting greeted by a giant vagina and a “girl 3 miles away wants to fuck” popup. Stroke’s getting his master’s degree while simultaneously questioning whether touring Thomas Jefferson’s slave mansion makes him racist by association. Jenn gets “higher than giraffe pussy” o...

Look, if you came here for a healthy, emotionally mature show, you absolutely clicked the wrong thing. We start with breaking “news” about Jeffrey Epstein’s suicide note like Mikey is CNN, then immediately derail into roasting Ian’s $20 couch mic until he straight-up disappears from the show like a pissed-off lesbian Bigfoot. From there it somehow turns into dragonflies jetting water out of their...

The show finally has ads, which means some poor brand may now be sponsoring a conversation about balloon fetishes, dolphin crimes, and whether being “shark-fucking rich” is the financial danger zone. Mikey’s trying to sell everyone on the uncensored Patreon while also trying to get Stroke a new liver and maybe a sponsorship from those “we totally prevent hangovers, we swear” pregame shots. Jenn ge...

Stroke has a liver appointment coming up, so naturally the show turns into a practice psychological evaluation led by people who should not be allowed near medical paperwork. Somehow that becomes a ride through deer murders, polar bear liver poison, gerbil erection math, Bob Ross hair fraud, and whether $100 million is worth being hunted forever by a death snail. Then the Dammits bring problems in...

Jenn shows up half-poisoned by Popeyes and somehow that just turns into a full forensic breakdown of every fried chicken chain from KFC to shady gas station Dodges where dudes threaten to “shoot your ass” on the phone next to the heat lamp drumsticks. Stroke gives a real update on his liver situation, which somehow turns into merch ideas, Stroke Aid, fake proposals for free dessert, and whether he...

Ian’s gone, Jen’s digging chicken out of her teeth, and somehow that is still not the weirdest thing that happens here. Stroke opens up about serious liver issues, Mayo Clinic testing, and the kind of stress that makes everybody shut up for five whole seconds. Naturally the show copes with that information by writing a song about him getting a black man’s liver and becoming better at basketball. F...

This week the show gets told it’s popular enough to monetize but apparently too dangerous to trust with ad money, which honestly feels pretty on-brand. From there it somehow turns into random listeners asking the cast for cash like everybody’s secretly sitting on drug money. Then the comments roll in, Stroke finally addresses the panic about his future on the show, and Jen brings in news that incl...

We start off with the show shamelessly celebrating its top 3% status, which of course immediately turns into mocking radio hype, trying to decode whatever dumb TikTok slang “you the birthday” is, and somehow sliding straight into childhood trauma and stepdad roll call. Then Florida shows up like it always does, with a doctor yanking the wrong organ out of a guy, a drunk idiot throwing beer bottles...

Everyone’s back, Jenn’s slightly less white, Stroke’s slightly less emotionally stable, and we’re somehow “America’s most gun-friendly show”! We go from Garth Brooks being a “fucking murderer” to arguing whether you’d rather get teabagged on life support or hammered in the skull, which is exactly the kind of ethical debate this show is built for.  There’s an update on the school board creep tellin...

Welcome back to America’s Loudest Podcast, where we open the show literally waving guns around on camera and somehow that’s not even the most unhinged part of the hour.  We go from “I sleep next to a gun on the couch just in case” to debating poop knives like they’re a legitimate household tool.  Somewhere between declaring ourselves America’s fattest podcast, talking about poop particles on your...

2N Jenn bailed to Mexico and left the three of us to maintain this flaming circus, so obviously we opened with Florida mugshots of the ugliest prostitutes on planet Earth and a “pimp” who looks like he manages a Dollar General, not a stable.  Somewhere between calling one of them a hobbit and realizing the guy looks exactly like Mikey’s cousin Jeremy, we decided “I fuck hookers” should probably be...