Not That Damn Show

We made it to episode 83 and somehow you freaks are still here, which honestly raises more questions about your childhood than ours.  We start off realizing half this show is about dicks and meat curtains, and the other half is us yelling at you to stop crying about six bucks for uncensored video while you’re out there raw-dogging Starbucks like it’s oxygen.  Jenn’s planning an all‑inclusive Mexic...

Apparently if we miss one Thursday, some guy named Rob turns into the Patreon hall monitor and writes a breakup letter because “life” getting in the way is just an excuse… so naturally the show vaporizes him.  Ian decides single people at four‑tops should tip 30%, admits he doesn’t tip bartenders for just opening a beer, and the whole show spends 20 minutes explaining to him that he’s the problem,...

Look, some of you are out here worried about filters on Spotify while Ian is out here narrowly dodging becoming freezer meat in a Florida backyard, so perspective helps.  Video is paywalled, Audio is free Stroke’s dealing with three-hours-of-sleep misery that somehow led to broccoli fart science with Perplexity roasting everyone’s ass chemistry.  Ian drops the Florida horror story about the woman...

Look, some of you are out here worried about filters on Spotify while Ian is out here narrowly dodging becoming freezer meat in a Florida backyard, so perspective helps.  Video is paywalled, Audio is free Stroke’s dealing with three-hours-of-sleep misery that somehow led to broccoli fart science with Perplexity roasting everyone’s ass chemistry.  Ian drops the Florida horror story about the woman...

Welcome back to the only show that will teach you about a caterpillar that pretends to be bird shit and then pivot straight into why Texas has 581 Dairy Queens and still can’t flip a Blizzard right.  We roast Rob’s new disaster, question how many felonies are happening on his livestream, and then somehow end up workshopping slogans for a sperm-themed T-shirt … because apparently “get happy, swallo...

Welcome back to the only show where “Can you guys shut the fuck up?” is both a catchphrase and a customer service policy. Last week Jenn yelled at her dogs and some weirdo in New York reported the video like it was a war crime. Somehow that spirals into arguments about sharing deodorant, stealing food off someone’s plate, toothbrush boundaries, fart strategy, and whether watching a show without yo...

Every once in a while the news reminds you that the average adult human probably shouldn’t be trusted with car keys, children, or access to a Target self-checkout machine. This show is basically a full hour of that realization happening in real time.  We get into a criminal mastermind who stole trading cards by scanning taco seasoning packets, a toddler somehow drinking meth out of a sippy cup, an...

We started by leaving the pre-show nonsense in on purpose for the DPs, which means the episode opens like a live document of everybody being sick, annoyed, and already talking too much.  Then somehow we go from AI slop and robot comment wars to giving away Steak and a Blow Job Day prizes before bringing on Morgan (the dead body finder), who casually explains that her dog can find a single drop of...

The episode opens with the crew already fired up after discovering another podcast trying to ride their coattails. From there the conversation goes exactly where you’d expect: nowhere responsible.  Jenn's back after her daughter took gold at softball, which is not what we told you people, but here we are. What followed was two-plus hours of the kind of shit that only happens when nobody's in contr...

in this uncensored episode 2N’s gone for the day, nobody’s fired (probably), and we’re knee-deep in updates about the hooker giveaway poll, the censorship “experiment,” and why some of you freeloaders suddenly hate beeps. We break down the logic behind editing last week’s episode, talk through monetizing without turning into the morning zoo, debate White Chicks 2 like adults who never matured, and...

The Gang debates giving away a legal Nevada hooker as a prize. Not a joke. Not a bit. An actual poll gets created. They read one-star Bunny Ranch reviews from men mad they only got 15 minutes after negotiating the price down. They argue about whether you can legally shoot a guy jerking off outside your window. (Spoiler: you can’t.) A lawyer jumps in to break down: • Aiding and abetting • Defamatio...

A psychic bails. Stroke almost books a flight to Arizona for a $200,000 reward. We legally clarify that we are not responsible for anyone choking during the Steak & BJ giveaway. A tapeworm diet story makes everyone reconsider the dark web. China flexes humanoid kung-fu robots. A dad tracks his 15-year-old to a house party and gets accused of “violating privacy.” Harvard body parts are being sold f...

Welcome back to another mind-blowing episode of Not That Damn Show, where someone submits a confession asking for a Fleshlight molded from Ian’s anatomy, they explain how ugly guys somehow land beautiful wives, and Florida Man tries to avoid arrest by identifying himself as George Costanza.  Somewhere in the middle of all that, the show spirals into Craigslust gangbang ads, failed radio journalism...

Ian is “dead.” Or kidnapped. Or at a pegging convention. So naturally we call the KKK to ask how they keep their sheets so white, call the Black Panthers because Stroke found out he’s 1% black, and then pivot into Steak & Blowjob Day marketing strategy.  Meanwhile, Michael Jordan is trending for touching a kid at the Daytona 500, scientists are tracking farts with Smart Underwear, Viagra might sav...

It’s 9PM somewhere. Mikey’s drinking. Jen’s computer sucks. Ian might be wanted for kidnapping someone’s grandma. Frozen iguanas are falling out of trees in Florida, Pornhub comments are more philosophical than therapy, and somehow we end up discussing whether the government should monitor your masturbation habits. Add in substitute teachers showing up drunk, Uber roofie stories, mugshot guessing...

A listener wrote a song about Stroke having sex 38 times in one day and sent it in. You listened to it. All of it. That should’ve been the whole episode — but somehow, it spiraled into a half-serious campaign to let Chick-fil-A run the country, a debate over Pornhub ass-eating stats, and a book called How to Start a Cult. Next thing you know, everyone’s pitching Kool-Aid merch and Stroke is leadin...

Jenn’s Only Hater crawled out of Spotify comments again… so we wrote him a theme song, roasted his existence, and then moved on like adults … by reading filthy romance novels to each other out loud. Butt stuff, “intimate muscles,” and finger placement breakdowns included.  Jenn returns from her emo sex cruise refreshed and railed, Stroke’s bones are cracking like popcorn, Ian’s heartburn gets blam...

Jenn disappears and the show immediately loses adult supervision. What starts as random facts mutates into a live Google spiral about animal anatomy that nobody consented to. Florida shows up doing Florida things, confessions cross lines they definitely saw coming, and Rick the lawyer is forced to answer questions no law school prepared him for. Somewhere in the middle, the internet hands the gang...

Jenn’s still gone and within minutes the show derails into emo sex cruises, hypothetical dildo merch, Craigslist freak mapping, and a brand-new life lesson that pulling your pants down is sometimes the fastest way to end a confrontation.  Add in bleach-laced spaghetti, karaoke bans over ten dollars, stolen landmark flags, Walmart reality glitches, Arnie States joins the show to calmly explains how...

Stroke exposes his balls (again), Ian lays out all the lies your parents fed you, and Mikey declares war on fake work marriages. Also, we investigate the science of dick elasticity, the revenge potential of a Wendy’s cup, and why everyone on the internet needs to be tased. Jenn’s out on a cruise, but the testosterone is flowing, along with violent sex confessions, sad vape dads, and another Florid...

Stroke’s married, Ian’s bitter, and Mikey’s rethinking friendship contracts. Jenn’s out getting one of her Ns removed (finally), so the boys spiral into poop-launching massage parlor arrests, Craigslust, and getting real about just how damn old they’ve become. Also: Copper thieves cripple Sacramento transit, nobody wants Ian at their wedding, and Reno is full of freaks. Welcome to America’s Loudes...

You ever find yourself inventing vagina breath strips and betting on poultry to shit on a number while judging prison inmates for murder and theft? No? Then you’re not living right. In this episode, we do all of that and way too much more. By the time the felon dating game hits, it’s already too late to back out. One woman’s in for burglary. Another for homicide. And we all still picked her. Welco...

This episode is like an emotional handjob that ends with someone shoving a shampoo bottle up their ass. We start with everybody feeling feelings — like real, ugly cry-type shit — and just when you think we might be growing as people, we immediately go full brain rot. Grave-robbing psychopaths? Check. Cops turning into frogs? Yep. Federal butthole report? Hell yes. Then it’s open season on hate com...

The confessions came in hot — one about Christmas car sex with an ex, one about getting “moist” from our lawyer's voice, and a truly tragic Bingo-related grievance. That set the tone. Then it spiraled into Yelp vengeance, a full Chicken Shit Bingo tangent, and one of the dumbest games we’ve ever played: AI Fart or Real Fart?. Things were said. Lives were changed. Farrell’s Ice Cream may never reco...

The show’s back and somehow dumber than ever.  Stroke got engaged, then immediately waxed his asshole. The Celebrity Death Pool is back with wild card picks and 10 times more disrespect. From California gun rulings and Bangkok coffin resurrections to shamans stating the obvious, prison drone surf-and-turf and STD-sounding dinosaurs — nothing in this episode lands clean, and that’s exactly how we l...