Not If I Reboot You First!

This week we're gonna TEST OUR MIGHT with help from Jake Mason, because it's time for Mortal Kombat! 2! We're taking the things we liked from the 2021 movie (which is most of it, including the silly stuff) and actually going to the tournament this time around - with a few newcomers, and also - Friendship?! Also discussed are very specific accents, furry awakenings, and the Vypra Memorial Award for...

Here we go again - again! Tanner's listened to every ABBA song and is using their skills to turn them alchemy-like into a third Mamma Mia movie - this time with 100% more trans themes! (It helps that a lot of the songs have applicable subtext). Along the way they'll talk with Lindsay about censoring Amelie, an imagine spot inside a flashback, and BUSINESS! Our friendship promo this week is @nikoli...

It's a short one this week because, as we found out between now and recording, Lindsay got COVID. But she powered through to save Club Dumas from a terrible adaptation with terrible people and bring back the important part: a weird mean lady convincing herself that you can summon the devil with a lost Musketeer book. She's wrong, except when she's right, and also a hot fallen angel might be here....

This week we have special guest Kit Walker here to tell us all about Star Trek - Tanner and Lindsay didn't know much before, but now we know all about Kirk and Spock being extremely married in the original Star Trek IV. But this is the reboot Star Trek - we're gonna Kelvin these whales! Listen to us discuss inventing time travel in college, putting spicy rocks in water, and Karl Urban letting the...

This week's episode is just a cheap copy - with guns! Guest Isiah is here to tell us all about Shadow the Hedgehog and his ten distinct non-canonical origins, and then he's gonna makes them all canonical as well as improve this game and the ones surrounding it. The trick, you see, is to lean into the edge just enough to make things interesting. Along the way we'll listen to 2004 pop music, determi...

This week Tanner is rebooting Shadow Raiders! Or War Planets. It's going from a children's cgi space opera to an adult live-action space opera, not to mention getting two more seasons to actually finish the plot of the show. We're gonna make sure everyone can be live action except the moe bug girl, and maybe make Femur's horniness more palatable. Also discussed are Fire x Ice shipping, a really bi...

We continue our superhero trend this week by looking at some children of the atom. Lindsay is taking Claremont's X-Men and turning them into the soap opera they deserve to be, because comics are wild and X-Men are the most. She's also making sure there's room enough to talk about all the famous X-Men plots and Dark Phoenix, but mainly as a way to bring her fav character in. She and Tanner will als...

If you save the podcast, you save the world! This week Tanner is taking the 2006 sci-fi drama Heroes and giving it room the breath the way it didn't before. Some characters are gone, some are combined, and if they're black they're definitely getting a better deal than before (and unfortunately that's not a high bar to clear). Also discussed are Regina Mills disease, web exclusive content, and the...

This week, all by herself, Lindsay stands alone (with Tanner) as she reboots Quest for Camelot. 'Tis a silly movie, but the source material seems a little bit better, and could probably make for a more interesting movie - though we're gonna keep the blind love interest and a snarky bird. Probably not Bladebeak though. Also assembled are weird woman in the woods, a nasty steampunk gryphon, and all...

This week Tanner is making some adjustments to Jingle Jangle, a movie from last year that they almost liked - but it could use a tune-up with the themes and a boost with the christmas-ness, and maybe some more repeated musical queues. Lindsay and them will also discuss the beyblade ripcord on your flying machine, putting a kaiju in, and real numbers. Our friendship promo this week is @ReachThePodc...

Enter the mysterious Canadian Edutainment-horizon of Black Hole High - er, or Strange Days at Blake Holesy High? Either way, we're taking this kid's teen show and giving it the CW treatment. The arcs are tightened, the weirdness is ramped up, the cast is gayer, and we're still solving a love triangle via clones. Lindsay and Tanner will teach each other about skyfish, good vs. bad conspiracies, and...

This week, Tanner had a bit of an existential crisis trying to figure out how to reboot Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, a film built entirely on the romcom landscape and celebrity disconnect of 2004. It's hard to replicate nowadays, but shifting around some mediums and making the characters less terrible could help. Him and Lindsay will also discuss your one miserable friend, the real life version o...

This week we ask: what is a biopic if not well-funded RPF? Linday is gonna tell Tanner all about Joe Beyrle, an Amerikinski Komrade who went through a lot of stuff during WWII before ending up fighting alongside the Red Army. It's war, so it's hell, but there's also a lot of bureaucratic comedy to be found here. Our friendship promo this week is @Tinsel_Tunes! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew,...

Tanner did not like Far From Home! Tanner thought it had some good elements but ultimately went completely against everything Homecoming stood for! So now they're gonna turn it inside out, get rid of all the St. Tony stuff, and steer it closer to the text while retaining the elements we've already established. Maybe even set up a new third movie? Lindsay and them will also discuss Rugby injuries (...

This week our guest Theo has roped us into a heist, in order to reprogram the Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic remaster into a full-on remake. The morality of it is a mess, so he's gonna walk us through all the things that will help make your party member's reactions to you more realistic (and also let you date the catgirl). Also discussed is the Ayn Rand of the Jedi, wedging a man to death,...

Bleh bleh bleh! It's Twilight time! Lindsay's decided that Steph actually made an interesting setting...and then completely disregarded it in favour of bad love triangles. So we're gonna change things up! Now Alice is the manic pixie dream girl and Bella's a jock, the Volturi are a real threat, and werewolves are significantly less racist. Also discussed are going to Denmark, a vampire cowboy, and...

Deeeaaad Rising! It's not a realistic game series, but it is a fun one - at least the first two are. Tanner wants to take the series back to it's roots while also moving it forward, which means it's time for a cruise! Them and Lindsay are heading out to sea to combine the horrors of zombies, boats, and capitalism. Also discussed are nasty dolphins, a great deal at Home Hardware, and asexual pirate...

What happens when you mix together a slasher film, a proto-goth girl, and a regency romance? This week's topic, where Lindsay has created a new horror flick from Jane Austen's novel Northanger Abbey! It works really well since there are a bunch of marriageable young people stuck in a house with nothing to do but plot and swoon. Of course neither she nor Tanner actually watch much horror, so they k...

It's Christine! The nastiest car metaphor for a toxic relationship, or drugs, or a haunted vagina. Tanner wants to turn one of their favourite Stephen King novels into a miniseries, and to do it they're gonna make it modern, make it make sense, and make it gay! Linday's along for the ride too to discuss shitty greasers, getting cucked by a car, and marrying a nice man who drives a civid. Our frien...

REDWAAAALLLL is the topic of this week's episode! Lindsay really wanted to get a new animated series...and then she found out she was! No really, the "Over the Garden Wall" guy is doing one. So in that case...puppets, I guess? Tanner loves puppets. Also discussed are Chwistianity, marzipan, and sword-wielding mouse gateway books. Our friendship promo this week is @DeathByDyingPod! Our cover art is...

One more unto the Q&A we go! Tune in to listen to your favourite podcast hosts discuss buying music lessons, doing surgery on the MCU, and 750 AO3 tags! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake, who's contact info is available upon request. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com . If you would like to send us a friend...

In PART TWO OF THE ANNIVERSARY DOUBLE-FEATURE, Lindsay and Tanner celebrate 3 years of podcasting with the annual Once Upon a Time redo! We're in Camelot looking for the four treasures of Ireland, except for when we're in Wonderland. Or Halloweentown. Or Scotland. Wherever we go we're gonna find hot redheads, grey morality, and being more gay. Our friendship promo this week is @FaithFullPods! Our...

In PART ONE OF THE ANNIVERSARY DOUBLE-FEATURE, Tanner and Lindsay celebrate 150 episodes by redoing the ENTIRE DC Extended Universe. We're starting with The Flash...or maybe Superman? The important thing is that some origin stories are already known, so let's jump to the good stuff and actually plan out story arcs. We also discuss alternate media history, how to get on breadtube, and cheetahs. Our...

It's time to steal from the rich and give to ourselves this week, as Tanner reboots the People's Choice of Knights of Prosperity, a short-lived show about robbin Mick Jagger. Except this time we're robbing a gamer (not a real one) or maybe the ghost from Beetleborgs. Tanner and Lindsay will also discuss pawning your gamer chair, being able to make things up, and the War for Late Night. Our friends...

Remember the Magic Treehouse books? How they were cute fun edutainment? Wrong! They saw the Titanic sink! They saw Pompeii erupt! They were at THE BLITZ! And Lindsay doesn't want to lighten up her reboot of them - history, as great as it is, can get dark, so we're just aging them up a little so they can handle it. At least they get a dog boyfriend and cool selkie out of it. Tanner and her will als...