Not Actually Film Critics

Zea and Gibbs are out this week! Izzy and Mox go bonkers and records a 2 hour rant on everything they've been doing recently.  Mox goes deep into exploring all the current issues with the anime industry.  A Quiet Place 2 Othercide It Takes Two Rick and Morty Season 5 The Tomorrow War Rurouni Kenshin live action movies The Conjuring 3 Vivy: Fluorite Eye's Song Wonder Egg Priority I give up... there...

Izzy makes his triumphant return as an educator of Mexican food. Zea inevitably initiates some kink talk and we get to the sexiest myth out there, Bigfoot.  Gibbs finally picks a film people want to watch with Stephen King's Misery (1990), a horror masterpiece and our highest-rated movie as reviewed by the gang. Support us on Patreon !

It's the episode where Izzy is gone, so you know that means: 1) Dinosaur talk. 2) Crosswalk talk. 3) Video game immersion. 4) Our sponsors   Movie Review Timestamp: 33:00 Support us on Patreon !

Have you heard about the curious case of Benjamin Belly Button? Gather round the podcast as the gang reminisces on his age-defying exploits. Izzy knows the secret to baby powder, and it's not pretty. Also not pretty: Gibbs having Timmy removed at the "baby factory". Zea tries to understand the mythos of Santa and cryptocurrency, while Izzy tries to understand why he dreams of being a sleeping Abe...

Just some behind the scenes on how we get our SyncTracks started. We hope you all appreciate the time and effort we spend on making these for you! Also, police brutality is not funny guys. Support us on Patreon !

Watch out, it's another boomer rant as we reflect on the Internet was ruined by boomers. Gibbs has an idea to take advantage of the touring Summer Olympics... or maybe he doesn't. In true empathetic fashion, we mourn the loss of children in British Columbia, Canada, allowing Zea to reflect on her previous vampire origins. This somehow leads perfectly into our last "space" film, the 2004 made for T...

It's never a bad time for toilet talk! Gibbs has found a secret bathroom at work, and he's excited to share with everyone, or not. The gang recounts their nice bathroom experiences and decides it's time for someone to make a map of the best bathrooms. Zea learns about squatty potties and is floored. Then we jump into the recent Korean science fiction thriller  Space Sweepers  (available on Netflix...

The gang is back from a vaccination break spacier than ever. We explore the Trader Joe's mask experiment that Zea and Gibbs are running and ponder if vaccination badges need to be a thing. Gibbs has a Pokemon trade of deep regret that he needs to get off of his chest, while Izzy needs to unload about his superiority complex for his Sam's Club shopping. We wonder if everyone else has also gained pa...

What's the deal with... all the rampage Mario makes and the mess left behind? And with Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order (which Zea reviews)? And with the lack of good video games in the Star Trek universe? And with Gibbs' apparent slurping? And with Zea thinking Asians eat loudly? And with Zea not finishing.................. her sentences? So many deals to get through this week. Mox then kicks off his...

It's a ball-tingling episode as we get straight to discussing cock-and-ball torture and remembering the day we learned about testicular torsion. If that isn't sexy enough for you, Zea shares her first encounter with a bikini barista, and we wonder how other jobs can be  sexified . Then it's on to the last of the Nicolas Cage films, 2019's  Color Out of Space, where Daddy Cage meets Lovecraftian co...

Surprise, it's another saus fest as Zea sits out what is frankly an exceptionally testosterone-riddled episode. We discuss the misnumbering of musketeers, if unfattening can look good over time, and we're keeping track of all the famous people who are dropping elbees. Then, we watch LIVE with an attached  SyncTrack  for the 1989 film  Vampire's Kiss . It's settled that Cage is best as Cage in this...

Since Gibbs wouldn't stop talking after the episode we got into an interesting discussion about the Zelda series. Support us on Patreon !

You like anime ya nerds? Do ya? I bet you do. Well, we talk about quirks and Narotu, as well as the hottest new game, Amongus. Oh yeah, and memba jukeboxes? And the 80s? They were great. We then talk about the 2017 film  Mom and Dad , and Cage is a crazy mudafuga. Def recommend.   Support us on Patreon !

The crew opens up the dictionary to understand bukkake and even add a new related word. Then they talk about bonobos, AKA the sickest fucks of primates, which leads Gibbs to discuss his latest idea of animal sex toys. Nicolas Cage "stars" in 2014's  Left Behind , though it's mostly a planwreck of a film. Unless you're Christian. Support us on Patreon !

The gang get straight to it with some hot dick talk, including what it's like to have a double dick and the amazing side effects of vaccination. It's a Millennial Power Hour as we lick our lips thinking back on floppie dicks and the early Internet days. We then review George Lucas' 1971 film  THX 1138 , which has us amazed at its wondrous futuristic effects... until we find out they were done in 2...

Mox turns in an astounding performance on only 5 hours of sleep as we review his 2020 pick, I Care A Lot . Before that, we discuss the pressing question of moan vs. groan: can you use them interchangeably? You decide as we do our best impressions. Izzy explains his misgivings about artificial food coloring. Peter Dinklage makes funny faces and Rosamund Pike is a stonecold "guardian". We... don't c...

Disclaimer: WE ARE NOT SPONSORED BY BOSS BABY 2 (...yet) This week we watch the Hungarian  White Fang- inspired film "White God" (2014) as we begin our theme of  rebel .  Zea can't make it this week because of the potentially traumatizing (implied) animal abuse in the film , so the guys mansplain their way through...  what Disney has done recently, including Mox's review of "Raya and the Last Drag...

The gang goes really dark and talks about... Getting high with your parents Euthanasia designer drugs Bath salts Capital punishment Then we get into the excellent P ossessor  (2020) and rave about Cronenberg Jr's mental horror film. For once, the gang all agrees on something as a solid movie!   Movie Review Timestamp: 20:12 Support us on Patreon !

This week, the gang talks animation with Mox delivering a serious take down of the Disney darling Frozen, while Zea tries unsuccessfully to defend it, and the gang speculates that Toy Story (and every other beloved movie franchise) is being milked dry till all our wonderful memberberries are turned to raisins. Zea gives a 10 word synopsis of our missing episode on the film The Edge . Continuing wi...

It's the Valentine's episode this week so the gang discusses our various plans or lack thereof, as well as the materialistic and somewhat sad and shallow nature of the holiday. Plus, did you know that eating a cheese platter off of your partner's sweaty thighs really enhances the cheese's flavor and aroma? Chinese new year is also happening, so we delve into each other's signs and whether any of t...

The gang discusses FOMO with the Robinhood/Gamestop saga, the guys compare the number of hours they have spent on Hades in a nerd show off session, and Zea paints again. Finishing up our theme on mutation, Gibbs picks the often bizarre and disturbing film Altered States, a movie that follows an eccentric "mad" scientist with no emotions and a fondness for intense psychedelic drugs as he embarks on...

Continuing with our Mutation theme, Izzy selects the indie Sci Fi Channel film Habitat, much to the combined delight and horror of his fellow podcast members. In the film, the ozone layer has been stripped from the Earth and instead of immediate incineration, humans continue living out their lives while an eccentric, asshole of a scientist/dad turns his house into a "save the planet" ecological Ed...

Gibbs finishes his review of WW84 and adds an impromptu PC game review for Paradise Killer. Izzy brags about his new Oculus Quest 2, and his time in virtual reality.  Continuing with our mutation theme, this week Zea bring us to the golden age of horror with her pick: "THEM!" where monstrous, irradiated mutant ants terrorize unsuspecting communities. These gargantuan ants pose an immediate threat...

This week, Mox kicks us off with a new theme on Mutation inspired by the potential for the freaky films found in the world of horror. This week we look at the low budget Lovecraftian film, From Beyond and get our pineal glands stimulated. A little bondage and some eyeball popping, brain sucking action and you've got yourself one hell of an interesting ride. Oh, and the interdimensional sea creatur...

The gang brainstorms the engineering of a fart closet and Zea gets uncomfortable talking about feet. This week Izzy wraps up our theme on Adolescence with Makoto Shinkai's "The Garden of Words". This film, while beautifully animated, takes some of us to places never before imagined, where an unemployed grown up can hang out with a truent high schooler with a thing for feet, *cough*, I mean shoes a...