No Time to Not Win

Stothton discusses the new COVID variant Omicron with scientific consultant Jack Tetherton. Jack discusses his current and future studies regarding an effective cure. Jack first told us all about his ideas for battling COVID back on episode 17. Maybe had we all listened to him back then, we wouldn't be in this situation.

Stothton and his uncle Glenn recap their Thanksgiving together. I truly can not imagine what it would be like to be one of Glenn's children. John has changed all of his phone numbers and somehow he still receives at least 4 calls per day from his uncle Glenn.

Stothton discusses Thanksgiving with his uncle Glenn. Saying that Glenn is a family man would be the understatement of the century and about two minutes into this episode John quickly remembered why he stopped talking to Glenn so many years ago.

Stothton discusses Black Friday with Davy Chris. Davy has been waiting outside of a Best Buy for the last few days in preparation for the upcoming Black Friday sales. John noticed this and had to know what was going on with this guy. Turns out Davy has not missed a Black Friday sale in 15 years and doesn't plan to miss any in the future.

Bill Chafton takes the reigns on this one and he and Stothton run through some quick takes on a few topics that Bill wanted to discuss. This week's topics include the new Scream and Home Alone movies, the new Apple MacBook Pro, F1 Esports, and the whole mess that is Facebook.

Stothton discusses the SimpliSafe security system with Tim Watson. This episode is not sponsored or endorsed by SimpliSafe. Just to be clear, no one associated with this podcast condones sexual abuse or misconduct of any kind whatsoever. That being said, John didn't get to where he is today by doing things half-assed. If John is going to test a security system, you can bet your life that he i...

Stothton discusses candy and trick or treating with Logan Mars, a self-proclaimed trick or treating enthusiast. Considering that we're already well past Halloween, John didn't even want to do this episode. But, Logan would not stop messaging and calling John until he finally agreed to do this episode with him. Do you love trick or treating? Are you over the age of 10?  If you answered ye...

Stothton discusses couch options with premier couch importer Shazam Habas (or is it Shabaz Hasam? This guy is so sketchy he can't even keep his name straight). Not quite sure what it is about this guy, but I get the feeling he's importing a hell of a lot more than just couches.

Stothton discusses parenting, child labor, and youth outreach with Jack Walshman. Having a kid doesn't give you the right to be a sloppy idiot mess of a human being. It's simple, either keep up or don't have the kid. Also, in the wise words of Ron Swanson, "Child labor laws are ruining this country". Contact me at notimetonotwin@gmail.com to apply for the Stothton Youth Ou...

Stothton and Tetherton work out their mischief night plans. All I'll say is Bill Chafton is in for a wild night. Well, probably more like a wild week...

Richardt Flugit, a well known chocolate connoisseur, discusses chocolate with Jam Clementine. Let's be honest, Jam is just some idiot who is obsessed with milk duds and John only had him on the podcast to screw with Richardt.

Stothton discusses the results of a recent doctor's visit with his scientific advisor Jack Tetherton. In particular, they discuss the finding that his blood pressure is high. It just so happens that Jack and some colleagues have been researching hypertension and their findings may very well upend our current understanding of the condition. It's exciting times folks so listen up.

Stothton discusses bagels with Jebb Blintz and Franky Withers, two bagel aficionados he met at the bagel shop in his building. Apparently, Jebb likes his "bagels" from Krispy Kreme...

Stothton discusses waiting etiquette with Bill Chafton and Jack Walshman. If you want to know when it is and is not okay to wait for something then this is the episode for you. The basic jist is that it is almost never okay to wait for anything and if you are one of the slow plebs causing people to wait then you need to take a long walk out my 70th story window.

Stothton once again discusses paying for comfort versus doing everything yourself, but this time with guests Buck Jasper and Stanley Pile.

Stothton and Chafton discuss paying for services to make one's life more comfortable. It's simple, do what you want and pay for other people to handle the crap you don't care about. Having a DIY attitude towards everything is a sure-fire way to waste your life.

Stothton discusses retirement with Tim Watson, a rising star in John's company. But, apparently, Tim and John have pretty differing views on this topic and John is not too happy about it. Tim may have to drop down a few floors because he clearly isn't the guy John thought he was.

Stothton discusses the current state of the rap industry with Clarence, a producer whose been in the game for over 30 years. This guy has seen the evolution of the industry first-hand and together he and Stothton take a deep dive into why current rap is largely going to hell.

Stothton and Walshman fly through a couple of back-logged topics at a rapid-fire pace. This is a new segment we'll be doing now and then. This episode's topics include Hurrican Ida, iPhone 13, Apple CSAM software delay, and Australia's COVID lockdown app.

Stothton discusses flying commercial planes with airline pilot Jack Braver. In particular, they discuss how to deal with the seemingly rising trend of rude and disrespectful passengers. Apparently, Jack's solution is to ignore it and down a bottle or two of Xanax before every flight. Whatever works...I guess...

John attempts to discuss iPhone 13 predictions with Bill Chafton, but unfortunately Bill decided to be a giant pansy-ass whiner and throw the whole episode off the rails.

John discusses life goals with Oscar Ainsworth, a self-proclaimed philosopher and life coach. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade...or just go to the desert and drop acid.

Stothton discusses Labor Day with Nolan, the son of one of John's senior partners. Clearly, there is a substantial generation gap here, but regardless Nolan definitely deserves to get his ass kicked. I hope he doesn't represent the younger generation or we are truly fucked.

Stothton discusses flying etiquette with Jack Walshman and Bill Chafton. Jack tells a story that serves as a perfect example of how not to act when you're on an airplane. Granted, he deserved everything he got since he was flying coach, but the story still serves its purpose.

Stothton discusses the stupidity involved in buying a house with employee Greg Mitchells.  Greg has been trying to close on a house for months but is running into endless problems.  Life sure is a lot easier when you're rich like John and just throw money and workers at s**t until it's done.