No Homework

Charles walks us through the news about the hot new goofus screwing up their prestigious law job. Tom and his friend lose their no-show jobs at the website factory. Patrick discusses the fine art of getting ice into a glass without ruining all of your co-workers lives. Ron waits for the mail buoy. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant...

Ron is afraid of Bushwick Bill. None of us are afraid of the hockey mask guy from St. Lunatics. Charles runs a more successful retail operation than late-stage Kmart. If you are a professional package thief with a microphone and a copy of Audacity please contact us at nohomeworkwebsite@gmail.com . We just want to talk. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app...

Ron teaches us about the goings-on at this year's Jeanaroo. Patrick devises a relay race that hurts a lot of people. Charles emails at such an elite level that he suffers nerve damage. Come see us perform alongside Tom Harrison and Joe Anderson at a very special Genius Night on Saturday 11/21 at Beermiscuous, 7 PM, 2812 N. Lincoln Ave in Chicago. Sign up for updates on Genius Night's regular bimon...

Rax is right. Charles is right. Ron is right. All three are being lied about, and gangstalked, and treated very unfairly. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyer Ron: https://bsky.app/profile/lronmexico.bsky.social Rax: https://bsky.app/profile/raxkingisdead.bsky.social // https://www.raxkingisdead.com/   Liezl Estipona: https://...

Ron's career in cinema is cut tragically short. Patrick gets a job clicking on knives. Charles bombs a stand-up set in front of his future in-laws. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyer Ron: https://bsky.app/profile/lronmexico.bsky.social Liezl Estipona: https://www.heyitsliezl.com/   Patrick’s Bandcamp: http://veryimportant.la...

Ron fails to complete a spiritual pilgrimage. Charles teaches us the intricacies of North Carolina's homewrecker law as it pertains to Kyrsten Sinema and her boyfriend Donkey Kong. Patrick attends a legendary concert for five dollars. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyer Ron: https://bsky.app/profile/lronmexico.bsky.social Lie...

Ron creates a new sliding scale for civil rights. Charles fails to draw an audience for his comedy CLE so badly that it causes an international pandemic. Bay attends a lewd comedy wine tasting with her parents. Patrick witnesses Volunteer Playground Coach Deano Bonano. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyer Ron: https://bsky.app...

Charles interrogates Patrick regarding a potential harassment situation at his old job. Aaron is allowed to be serious for longer than we've ever allowed somebody to be serious. We try to calibrate the best amount of funny to be at work. The Back to School Beaver song has more profanity than you would expect. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/v...

Charles celebrates his 20th wedding anniversary. Andy has strongly held beliefs about what kind of Halloween costumes are acceptable. Patrick's neighbor has an expansive collection of yard inflatables for every conceivable holiday and special occasion. Charles https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyer Ron https://bsky.app/profile/lronmexico....

We are reborn yet again as a legal podcast, sort of, as Ron goes 0-1 in his professional capacity as a lawyer, sort of. Charles is undermined by a client. Patrick's courtroom record, such as it is, is spotless. The podcast's anti-Buc-ee's sentiment is totally vindicated. It's the manly time of year! Time for sports, guys! Previous legal talk with Andy from ALAB on Episode 8: https://nohomework.web...

Ron hates Buc-ee's but explains how its presence benefits the truck stop ecosystem. Charles loves beavers and explains how their presence benefits the actual ecosystem. Jeb kills every business he touches and is made redundant by tort reform. Jeb: https://bsky.app/profile/mobute.bsky.social Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyer...

Patrick forgets about the existence of the Arizona Diamondbacks. Ron engages a new kind of hostile drunk stealth mode so he can go out the door he wants to. Charles listens in horror as he is unwittingly booked to perform on the Gen X Takeover Cruise 2027 Presented by AARP. Disclaimer: Even though we laugh at our idiotic past decisions, please don't drive drunk. It is easier to call a car now than...

Charles witnesses the single greatest individual performance in work meeting history. Ron applies the "just lay down" principle in order to successfully evade the police. Patrick receives unwanted emails about his big stupid head. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyer Ron: https://bsky.app/profile/lronmexico.bsky.social Liezl E...

Charles beats the game of basketball. Patrick loses the game of basketball, and also the game of baseball. Ron introduces us to "The Farter." We discuss the various kinds of goofballs and perverts in charge of youth sports. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyer Ron: https://bsky.app/profile/lronmexico.bsky.social Liezl Estipona...

Rax witnesses Italian behavior in the wild. Ron remembers possibly seeing a human skeleton. Patrick is conflicted, but angry, about Justin Long. Charles exploits a religious loophole to use the phrase "sucks off the dog" on Shabbos. We solve the mystery of the elusive chupacabra. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyer Ron: https...

Ron roots for his favorite numbers. Patrick earns a free year of human life. Charles is hung out to dry by StubHub and made to look like a giggling psychopath by a professional podcast. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyer Ron: https://bsky.app/profile/lronmexico.bsky.social Liezl Estipona https://www.heyitsliezl.com/   Patric...

Charles questions the efficacy of major spinal surgery, which Kath insists is "real." Ron commits brazen time theft at the Walmart garden center. Joe Rogan steals Kath's smoking alley and gives it to the furtive perverts of Kill Tony. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyer Ron: https://bsky.app/profile/lronmexico.bsky.social Kat...

Charles witnesses a near-catastrophe. Patrick witnesses several slapstick cliches, and also a near-catastrophe. Luke witnesses a legitimate catastrophe. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyer Luke: https://bsky.app/profile/lukeoneil47.bsky.social Ape Sh*t - Issue #1: The Bizarre History of the Service Monkey by Carrie McLaren is...

Charles visits Action Park and lives to tell the tale. Medieval Times visits Patrick's junior high school and hurts a child. Ron learns a valuable lesson about visiting theme parks while you can, and brainstorms a new career as a carnie. The boys discuss The Man Show's past, its legacy...and its future? Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimp...

Jelly Roll's impending divorce nearly makes Ron drive into a pond. Lauren's desire for forklift certification destroys thousands of dollars worth of water softeners. Charles allegedly tapes over a priceless original recording of an extramarital affair. Lauren: https://bsky.app/profile/lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com Batting Around: https://www.patreon.com/cw/BattingAround Charles: https://bsky.app/p...

Charles steals valedictorian valor. Patrick is mocked by god for exhibiting too much character and fitness. Ron shows up fashionably late to the podcast, but does not attend graduation. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyer Ron: https://bsky.app/profile/lronmexico.bsky.social Liezl Estipona https://www.heyitsliezl.com/   Patric...

Charles accidentally calls college "high school." Patrick accidentally calls law school "college." Ron accidentally gets his library defunded. We discuss valuable antiquities, both foreign and domestic, and their role in our plan to secure safe passage to China. Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social Patrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyer Ron: https://bsky.app/profil...

With Ron away, Charles and Patrick are visited by Andy from ALAB, You're On Your Own and Mic Dicta and proceed to lay down the law. Topics include: tattletales, ancient judges, and people who are so stupid it defies common human logic. We also gawk at a cavalcade of poorly-behaved freaks and read from the Book of Grudges. Andy on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/wyattprivilege.bsky.social Charles...

Charles gets a negative teachers review due to being divorced. Ron gets tricked by a doctor and embraces MAHA. Patrick uses his pliable brain and the advice of a high school girlfriend to become ambidextrous. Liezl Estipona https://www.heyitsliezl.com/   Patrick’s Bandcamp http://veryimportant.lawyer Patrick’s tape on Big Sleep Records https://bigsleeprecords.bandcamp.com/album/tonal-rotors Please...

The boys discuss their complicity in fascism by posting on the wrong website. Ron teaches us about centipedes who hold grudges. Charles teaches us about monkeys who party. Charles' wife Carrie makes a special guest appearance to teach us even more monkey facts. Patrick discusses the best job he ever had. Drunk vervet monkey video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSm7BcQHWXk   Liezl Estipona https:/...