No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'

What a wonderful coincidence! In this episode, Monk gets hooked up to the World Wide Web, and you're *accessing* this episode on the World Wide Web! We're talking MR. MONK AND THE REALLY. REALLY DEAD GUY! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you find yourself in a room with the actual Declaration of Independence, please, in the section where...

YEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWW! Andre and Jake get to giddyin' up and talk MR. MONK VISITS A FARM! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are getting divorced/separated and announce it via a Notes app screenshot on Instagram, find a way to plug this podcast in the note. I know it will probably be hard to do, but it would mean a lot.

Long time listener, first time caller: Andre and Jake talk about MR. MONK IS ON THE AIR! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are the Zodiac Killer, please make a cypher where the solution is "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN" and send it to the San Francisco Chronicle.

Podcaster is an outdated term. We prefer to be called "House Managers" these days. We're talkin' MR. MONK IS AT YOUR SERVICE! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie I'm gonna make this one simple: if you do embroidery, embroider a recommendation to this podcast on a pillow for your aunt.

You've got a friend in this podcast. Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK MAKES A FRIEND. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are the president of a prestigious university, change your school's motto to whatever "No Funkin, Strictly Monkin" is in Latin.

Don't send us away to a colony - we're merely talking about a leper. That's right, Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE LEPER. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are trying to launch the newest cryptocurrency, please call it StrictlyMonkin Coin.

Like father, unlike son. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK MEETS HIS DAD! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are a librarian, cover those racist Dr. Seuss drawings with Wite-Out and then write over them, "Listen to No Funkin, Strictly Monkin."

For those about to podcast, we salute you. Andre and Jake are back to talk MR. MONK GOES TO A ROCK CONCERT! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Pick a random Wikipedia page, and edit it to have a recommendation to this podcast. But make sure it doesn't stick out too much. Like, if you're editing the page for Niagara Falls, add a paragraph like...

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. You'll go through all of those feelings while listening to us talk MR. MONK GETS A NEW SHRINK! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you happen to still be in high school, next time you sign a school yearbook, instead of writing, "Have a Great Summer," write "Listen to No Funkin, Strictly...

Reunited and it feels so good! Except for, you know, the murder victim. We're talking MR. MONK AND THE CLASS REUNION. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you're Catholic, recommend this podcast to your priest during confession. I (Jake) was raised Catholic, but I haven't done confession in [checks watch] almost 15 years, so I can't remember...

The investigator may be private, but this episode is for public consumption. Okay, that didn't make sense, but you can tell by the title Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK, PRIVATE EYE. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you find yourself on whatever 2021's version of ChatRoulette is, make sure you recommend this podcast to everyone you t...

Love is blind, and so is Mr. Monk in this episode. We're talking MR. MONK CAN'T SEE A THING. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are somehow a priest listening to this podcast, recommend it during your next homily. I'm sure God will forgive you.

If you don't listen to this episode, it's a technical foul. Andre and Jake hit the showers to talk MR. MONK AND THE BIG GAME. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Next time you're at a party (post-COVID, obviously), do this podcast in charades. Yeah, yeah, no one is gonna get it, but then you have a fun podcast to recommend to them.

Something stinks, and it's not this episode! Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE GARBAGE STRIKE! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are a member of any radical organizations of any kind, please include a recommendation of this podcast in the literature you hand out at your meetings.

We start off season five with an absolute banger of an episode - MR. MONK AND THE ACTOR. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are in charge of putting audio onto the next Golden Record that they send on a hypothetical Voyager III, please put an episode of this podcast on there.

The end of season four is upon us, and Andre and Jake have the pleasure of talking MR. MONK GETS JURY DUTY. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are in a famous rock band, please put a subliminal message in one of your songs that says, "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN" when you play it backwards.

If it isn't Lt. Randall Disher himself! That's right, the guys are joined by one of the stars of Monk, Jason Gray-Stanford, to talk about his time on the show, his favorite moments, and what makes MR. MONK GOES TO THE DENTIST such a special Randy episode. Follow Jason: @JasGrayStanford Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If flash mobs ever bec...

Andre and Jake are cleared for takeoff (with secret escape pod in tow) to talk MR. MONK AND THE ASTRONAUT! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie When you get your COVID vaccine, recommend this show to the person vaccinating you.

Diamonds are forever, but this episode is about 53 minutes long. Listen to Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE BIG REWARD! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you're in high school, leave a note in your crush's locker but instead of telling him or her that they are your crush, the note says that they should listen to this podcast.

These things happen. And by "things," I mean Andre and Jake talking MR. MONK AND THE CAPTAIN'S MARRIAGE. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If by some miracle you happen to be proficient in skywriting, please write "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN" in the sky on a clear day at the beach.

Forget everything you know about Monk (he certainly has) as we talk MR. MONK BUMPS HIS HEAD. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Cut random letters out of a magazine and paste them together to write "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN" and send it to a circuit court judge.

If you hear a faint drip, don't worry - that's just our outfits. Andre and Jake do a little turn on the catwalk and talk MR. MONK GOES TO A FASHION SHOW. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Go on a conspiracy website and tell them you have evidence of widespread voter fraud and then just recommend this podcast.

It's the most wonderful time of the year! That's right - a week and a half after Christmas. Andre and Jake get back in the holiday spirit to talk MR. MONK AND THE SECRET SANTA. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you're an NFL player who is okay with getting fined by the league, write "Listen to No Funkin, Strictly Monkin'" on your cleats.

It's a blast-from-the-past as Andre and Jake take a look at MR. MONK AND LITTLE MONK! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are getting married in the year 2021 (post COVID vaccine, obviously), please incorporate a recommendation of this podcast into your wedding vows.

Mazel Tov! It's wedding time for Andre and Jake, which is exciting because they both claim to be great wedding guests. They're talkin' MR. MONK GOES TO A WEDDING! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you find yourself recreating the famous scene from the second-most-problematic-plotline of Love, Actually, please include a card that recommend...