No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'

You are getting very sleepy... just kidding - you gotta listen to this podcast. Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK GETS HYPNOTIZED! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Slip a link to this podcast into your work e-mail's signature and see if anyone notices.

A nice round number. Andre and Jake put the show inFocus to discuss MR. MONK'S 100TH CASE! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are a psychic, 1) you're a liar, and 2) tell every client you see today that you see them listening to this podcast in their future.

Love is in the air. Or at least in this episode. Andre and Jake get their Zemenian passports stamped to talk MR. MONK FALLS IN LOVE! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Hack into one of those electronic signs they set up on the side of highways and change "SLOW. CONSTRUCTION AHEAD." to "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN STRICTLY MONKIN."

You have to listen to this one through a periscope (that makes no sense): we're talking MR. MONK IS UNDERWATER! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Since we can go back to indoor restaurants, IN ADDITION to handsomely tipping your waitstaff, write a recommendation to this pod on the bottom of the receipt.

Andre and Jake hop in the ring to talk MR. MONK TAKES A PUNCH! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Go on Facebook and group message twenty people with the same first and last name as you. Recommend this pod to them.

It looks like our number has come up. Andre and Jake are back to talk MR. MONK GETS LOTTO FEVER! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you happen to die sometime soon (as in, before this podcast ends), and a medium contacts you, instead of telling your loved ones that you are all right, tell them to listen to this podcast.

You are very smart for listening to this episode. Andre and Jake are here to talk MR. MONK AND THE GENIUS! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Build a time machine, go back to Ancient Egypt, and get a scribe to write a recommendation to this podcast in hieroglyphics.

It's the beginning of season 7, so Andy B and Jake C put a down payment in on a forever home to talk MR. MONK BUYS A HOUSE! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are a demon/ghost currently terrorizing an innocent family, next time you write them a message in blood, make it "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN."

Your friends Andre and Jake finish out season six strong with MR. MONK IS ON THE RUN - PART 2! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Commit a heinous crime, get convicted, and when it's your turn to speak at your sentencing hearing, instead of repenting, recommend this podcast to the judge, attorneys, and any onlookers.

Your friends Andre and Jake are back from a brief hiatus to discuss part one of the season six finale: MR. MONK IS ON THE RUN! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Next time you go to a baseball game, instead of wishing someone a happy birthday on the Jumbo-Tron, ask them to put up a recommendation to this podcast.

A picture says a thousand words. And a podcast says at least two-thousand. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK PAINTS HIS MASTERPIECE. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Engrave the words "Listen to No Funkin, Strictly Monkin" onto a small piece of metal of some kind. Swallow that piece of metal. Go to the hospital and when they do an X-ray,...

I got bad news if your name is Julie Teeger - you have to listen to this podcast! Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE THREE JULIES! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie In the spirit of this episode, find someone on Facebook with your exact name and recommend this podcast to them.

We'd like to make a deposit: this podcast into your ears. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK GOES TO THE BANK! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are a producer on that new Game of Thrones prequel thing, get a Dothraki character to recommend this podcast in the Dothraki language.

In lieu of Kool-Aid, drink this podcast up! We're talking MR. MONK JOINS A CULT! Follow the show: @thejakechristie Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Get someone in the $25 range on Cameo to record a recommendation to this podcast. The less-related to Monk, the better.

It would have been a silent night if not for the chopper singing out. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE MAN WHO SHOT SANTA! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie I'll make this one simple. Mother's Day is coming up. Give your mother the gift of this podcast (unless she is offended by *repeated* mentions of cuckolding).

Pound another cup of coffee, because you're not hitting the hay any time soon. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK IS UP ALL NIGHT! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you do the bottom ticker on CNN, please slide in a recommendation for this podcast in between stories of Trump cronies admitting to crimes.

Monk may have gotten the wrong man, but you've got the right podcast. Listen to Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE WRONG MAN! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are a PhD student working on your dissertation, include this podcast in your acknowledgements. The worst thing that can happen is the people reading it listen to an episode.

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's... a podcast! Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE DAREDEVIL! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you work at a CVS, add a recommendation to our podcast onto your receipts. They're so long, corporate won't notice.

X marks the spot and the spot is this podcast. Andre and Jake are back to talk MR. MONK AND THE BURIED TREASURE! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are a video game developer, please make the cheat code that gives you infinite lives be "STRICTLY MONKIN."

When a man loves a TV show very much, he asks his online friend to do a podcast where they watch all of it. This is that podcast. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE BIRDS AND THE BEES. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Find a low-tier NASCAR team in need of sponsorship money and pay to get our logo onto their car.

Breaking up is hard enough without a murder involved! Jake and Andre talk MR. MONK AND THE BAD GIRLFRIEND! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If and only if you are Charles Xavier, go into Cerebro and beam a recommendation of this podcast to every mutant on earth.

It's neither of our birthdays, but we got our birthday suits on (not really) to talk MR. MONK AND THE NAKED MAN! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Obviously they can't listen to podcasts in prison, but if you have a prison inmate pen pal, recommend this podcast to them to listen to when they get out.

Word. Word. Word. Here's the 4-1-1 (that means "information"), Andre and Jake drop the mic to talk MR. MONK AND THE RAPPER! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie I know you're told to call your congressperson a lot these days, and while I don't think you should call them JUST to recommend this podcast, if you're calling them to, say, speak out a...

We'll sign autographs, but no photos! Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK MEETS HIS BIGGEST FAN! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are a professional psychic, (1) stop lying to people, and (2) tell them that the tarot card they pull means that they have to listen to this podcast.

You've gotta listen to this podcast, stat! Andre and Jake's vitals are stable so they talk MR. MONK GOES TO THE HOSPITAL. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you happen to know a gorilla that does sign language, recommend this podcast to him or her (in sign language).