No Crying In Baseball

Patti and the Pottymouth review the good, the bad, and the ugly of Player’s Weekend nickname choices. Extra credit to Pat Venditte, Paul Fry, and Joey Gallo for puns and playfulness. The Reds are troubling, however, as Scooter Gennett doesn’t choose “Scooter” and Joey Votto goes all Canadian war poetry on us.  Juan Soto suffers premature ejection . Baseball math provides grandpas everywhere with c...

Patti & the Pottymouth are forced to follow their own stupid fantasy boyfriend baseball league rules and bid farewell to Rhys Hoskins, Jonathan Schoop, and Ian Kinsler due to the Trade Deadline Boyfriend Shuffle. Pottymouth cheers on the Mamie “Peanut” Johnson Little League team as they move on to the regional championships with support from BF Adam Jones. Patti watches the “brawl that wasn’t”...

Former MLB players vote for boyfriends on all 30 teams.  They call them Heart and Hustle Awards, but they totally use NCIB’s BF criteria.  We make a good showing with Pookie, Goldy, Salvy, Scooter, Spanky, and Alfalfa all making the cut. That’s Mookie Betts, Paul Goldschmidt, Salvador Perez and Scooter Gennett, for the uninitiated. Kiké Hernandez checks pitching off the bucket list, stands on the...

With Patti on the road, Pottymouth brings in some special guests to help out. Ecuadoran journalist Santiago Estrella talks about growing up playing baseball in New York City and being a huge Yankees fan before moving back to Ecuador — a country that has no baseball — at the age of ten. His newspaper allowed him to come back to the States to cover All-Star Week and he shares his stories of intervie...

It’s All-Star Week and Patti and the Pottymouth have made new friends all over town – in the Metro, in bars, at the ballpark, during volunteer gigs, plus that guy walking down the street carrying a base from the Futures game . We got outside at Play Ball Park , where we made sure little girls and grown women took their turns at bat and in the pitching cages and didn’t hang back behind the boys and...

Pottymouth decamps to NYC (WTF?) yet Patti manages to have her Greatest. Baseball. Weekend. Ever. There were dingers and anthems and jumbotron appearances galore. Pottymouth makes an All-Star case for Yadier Molina, who now even Torey Lovullo agrees is NOT a mofo. Mark Reynolds and Juan Soto are not the heroes the Nationals had in mind, but they are the heroes they needed. Patti has a brush with g...

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome special guest Alfredo Alvarez, of Con Las Bases Llenas, for a Red Sox / Yankees Series smackdown, er, discussion. Alfredo’s story of becoming a Yankees fan as a child in Cuba almost convinces Patti to join the Evil Empire, but her aggressively ugly Orioles shirt (and her aggressively Red Soxy Pottymouth) keep her grounded. We celebrate Joey Votto’s strike zone in h...

Yadier Molina has legs, but does he have knees? The wiener report includes Hunter Strickland, the Phillie Phanatic and that guy on the Metro with the Machado jersey. The non-waiver trade deadline may cost Patti some boyfriends, but she makes sure you know what it means. Pottymouth has choice words about Roberto Osuna. All this plus participation medals, fake moustaches and a pitcher named Disco. B...

Pottymouth laments the glory that is her Mariners (formerly Rays) boyfriend, Denard Span because his best work is against her Red Sox. What’s a girl to do? We jump on the Mariners bandwagon that suddenly looks playoff-bound. Tip of the cap to Trea Turner for his 100th stolen base and Patti tells a back with a bang from the DL story, about Rhys Hoskins of the Phillies. Someone, please get Pottymout...

The race is on for the first player to a 20-20 season.  Will it be Mike Trout? Mookie Betts? Tim Anderson? Andrew Benintendi? Patti welcomes Jays BF Aledmys Diaz back from the DL, and DBacks BF Paul Goldschmidt back from his slump. Pottymouth brings the adorable with little brothers of Alex Bregman and Carlos Correa drafted by the StrosBros. Surprisingly, the best play uniting Baseball and Beer th...

Mookie Betts is back on the DL but never fear, Andrew Benintendi is here! The Detroit Tigers’ season, however, may depend on fowl balls as they pin their hopes on a Rally Goose . This week’s boyfriend updates include Francisco Lindor, Scooter Gennett, and Max Scherzer, but finding replacement boyfriends is really, really hard. We have a little early Father's’ Day celebration for Dereck Rodriguez (...

Patti and the Pottymouth discuss the healing powers of pee and successfully predict the epic-ness of the Trevor Bauer / Gerrit Cole duel. Ohtani, Trout, yada yada but have you seen this guy Scooter Gennett? Rookies hit it out of so many parks in debuts this week (Is it too early to order our Soto jerseys?) There’s some talk therapy to help Pottymouth through her extreme boyfriend flux (Oh, Hanley....

We were touched to see the compassionate reactions from local sports teams after the tragic shooting at Sante Fe High in Texas. Sports help us come together as a community and heal. Robinson Cano gets an 80-game suspension for use of a PED masking agent. He says it was accidental but was it, really? Astros pitching tops the charts for ERAs but Cory Kluber and Max Scherzer have much to celebrate, t...

Special Mother's Day shout-out to all the baseball and softball mothers out there! Thanks for all you do! This week, updates on Trevor Bauer, Wilson Ramos, Francisco Lindor, Sean Rodriguez, and Scooter Gennett. The Mets make a little league error and the humidor at Chase Field dampens even the Diamondback's Paul Goldschmidt. Did you know that April is the first month in MLB history to record More...

MLB outlaws the use of "any foreign substance" by pitchers but Patti reports on Trevor Bauer's call to allow pine tar and other substances. Listen to find out why! The Seattle Mariners leave Patti & Pottymouth scratching their heads over their announcement that Ichiro Suzuki is not retiring, but won't be playing. Could it all be part of a long-term plan? NCIB is all over the internets! Connect...

What happens when Pottymouth's father learns she curses for the very first time? Disappointment and confusion, perhaps, but maybe moms can curse vicariously. Player highlights: Wilson Ramos homers again, Tommy Pham hits himself in the head with a bat and a "contraption", and Bryce Harper can't get a pitch.   All that and questions about a shorter MLB season in this week's episode! Get details abou...

This week we review the Twins-Indians series in Puerto Rico, where hometown stars José Berríos, Francisco Lindor, and Eddie Rosario all shone on the island still recovering from Hurricane Maria, along with a power outage that nearly shut down the series. Patti introduces a new stat! SPRINT SPEED. You'll have to listen to find out what that means and who has more boyfriends in the top ten. Bryan Pr...

Jackie Robinson Day celebration! Wait, is that...Wahoo? With the #42? Seriously, wft? Pottymouth has a word or two for Torey Lovullo after he said some unkind things about her Cardinals boyfriend Yadier Molina. Not okay, Torey! MLB at the UFC! Play-by-play for the Rockies-Padres and Red Sox-Yankees brawls and the "three stages of the brawl". Big shout out to MLB for their Trailblazer Series, bring...

Chuck Nazty signs for 6 more years at $108-$116 million (the oldest player to get over $100 mil at 32). Could it be the Altuve effect? And what are the implications for possibly next year’s free agents like Machado and Harper, both 25? Turns out the Buster Posey rule against blocking home plate only applies to catchers. Who knew? Maybe Mychal Givens, and all Didi Gregorius got was an out and a blo...

The Season has begun and we are so freakin' excited! Pottymouth takes an early lead in the Boyfriend Fantasy League but there's a long way to go yet, so stay tuned. Opening Day highlights include great performances by Denard Span, Anthony Rizzo, Justin Verlander, Yadi Molina, Scooter Gennett, Max Scherzer, and George Springer. Get details about everything in this week's show and our Baseball Boyfr...

In our last episode before the season, Patti and Pottymouth spend some time with Max “Mako” Oliveras. Oliveras has a 50-year history in baseball as a player, coach, and manager. He has worked with teams in Puerto Rico, Mexico, and MLB. He shares stories of the early days of Alex Cora, Dave Martinez, and Daniel Murphy. Also this week: Patti & Pottymouth name their 1st String Boyfriend League pl...

Youth and age in Major League Baseball: 24-yr-old Paul DeJong gets a record deal with the St. Louis Cardinals, but 29-yr-old Mike Moustakas heads back to the Royals for less than half the qualifying offer he turned down last November. Why can't players 30 and over get multi-year deals? Could there be a feud brewing in Los Angeles? Seems the Dodgers are a little bitter over Ohtani's decision to joi...

Shohei Ohtani warms up with the Angels but the Dodgers get the hot tub flu, all in this week's episode! Patti brings more science to the field in her ongoing study of everything that makes baseballs fly and learns that last year's balls were, indeed, different. Could that explain the record number of home runs? Listen to find out! Boyfriends this week (the last week of boyfriends!) are Yonder Alon...

We're watching baseball again! Yay for Spring Training! Patti & Pottymouth get a little teary-eyed talking about MLB teams' reactions to the horror at Stoneman Douglas High School but bounce back to wonder what's to become of Jake Arrieta, how humidors could change home runs, and the new pace-of-play rules. Boyfriends this week are adorable Jose Altuve and Sir George Chelston Springer III of t...

Spring Training for the 2018 Major League Baseball Season has begun, and so has Season 2 of No Crying In Baseball ! This week: The Chicago Cubs are singing "I got Yu babe" after signing pitcher Yu Darvish and the San Diego Padres pick up first baseman Eric Hosmer. No time for anything else because Patti & Pottymouth are too busy talking about their Boston Red Sox and Arizona Diamondbacks boyfr...