Night Classy

Kat has the privilege of telling the life story of horse-papaw Samuel Garland. Samuel was a member of the US 10th Cavalry Regiment and an early settler of Nicodemus- he really was goin' around startin' towns. Next, Hayley teaches us about Tupperware and the woman behind its success, (and the reason we get to enjoy leftovers) Brownie Wise. We thank Brownie Wise for her sassy use of ellipses and ext...

Today on TLC's A Rabbit Story Hayley teaches a lesson on Mary Toft. Mary astonished eighteenth century medical doctors by giving birth to rabbits- or at least chunks of dismembered rabbits. A woman's body really is a mystery. Then, Kat tells the peculiar story of Dr. OC Smith. Dr. Smith, a respected medical examiner known for conducting autopsies on homicide victims, became the victim of a grisly...

Drinking The Koolaid is a podcast dedicated to the mysterious and hosts Cassidy and Amanda join Night Classy this week to teach two very mysterious lessons! Cassidy covers the strange mass death of birds within a one-mile radius of a small Arkansas town... aliens? Next, Amanda presents the Kentucky meat shower incident where mysterious meat fell from the sky... babies? Subscribe to Drinking The Ko...

Kat covers Samantha Sally, an American woman who joined ISIS. Whether she joined by her own free will or was forced to by her husband is unclear, but what's not unclear is Kat's affinity for horses AND ringworm. Next, there's some Houdini in this house, there's some Houdini in this house because Hayley (former MHS prom queen c. 2015) teaches a lesson on the history of magicians!  Support the brand...

Hayley covers inventions that were created fully by accident. But what won't be an accident is our new living room decorated with bubble wrap and luminol. Next, Kat tells us about some products that people are (arguably) way too obsessed with. Why are Birkin bags so expensive? Why must people cling to farmhouse chic? And why have sex on your children's toys when Applebee's bathrooms exist??! Suppo...

Hayley teaches a lesson on spontaneous human combustion, AKA what happens every time we eat Chipotle. Next, Kat takes us on a learny journey to China where we learn about the life of one of the most successful pirate lords in history: Ching Shih.  Night Classy stands against Asian American Pacific Islander hate always, and especially in the wake of the recent shooting in Atlanta which targeted pri...

Kat teaches a lesson on L'Inconnue de la Seine, an unidentified drowned girl who ended up setting beauty standards for a century. Next, Hayley teaches a lesson on past lives and we examine our own past lives as a colonial woman and her horse. Finally, don't forget: niceness protects predators, but niceness also helps small businesses! This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off you...

Happy freaking birthday to us! Night Classy turned one year old, so we popped prosecco, drank the entire bottle before starting, and covered two incredible listener topics. Kat teaches a lesson on The Bermuda Triangle, complete with 80s song breaks, juicy coochie, and angry screaming about Chris Columbus. Next, Hayley covers black, trans, LGBTQ+ activist Marsha 'Pay it no mind' Johnson. Who among...

Hayley tells the story of America's most famous criminal couple: Bonnie and Clyde. Next, Kat teaches a lesson on vestigiality- the structures, behaviors, and organs that evolution has rendered useless. Meanwhile, Hayley reminisces about the tail she may have had, and exposes her own vestigial structure: her crooked buttcrack.  This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order,...

Kat tells the story of the hungriest man who ever lived: Tarrare. Tarrare was known to eat anything he could find including raw organs, live cats, and garbage, until he literally ended up with a food baby.. Next, Hayley teaches a lesson on the disappearance of John and Linda Sohus. The moral of this story is never, EVER trust a man named Chip. Not even Chip Gaines.  This episode is sponsored by Ra...

Hayley blows our minds with the fact that there are lizard people, and they live in Denver, CO. That's right! We are talking about Denver Airport conspiracy theories. What's scarier: the world ending or being crushed to death by a veiny blue horse? Next, Kat takes on some conspiracy theories of her own around the 90s' favorite toy: Furby! Until they make a Furby that can hold our hair and put us t...

Hayley goes grim this week and tells us about Masha and Dasha Krivoshlyapova; a pair of conjoined twins who were ruthlessly experimented on by Soviet Russia. Then, Kat lightens the mood by taking us to a 17th century French prison, where an anonymous prisoner was made to wear a mask, concealing his identity over his decades long sentence. Who was the man in the iron mask? Or dare we say- the mutt...

Hayley teaches us all about our first and favorite childhood video game: The Sims! Then we get in our biggest fight ever over Hayley making Kat's sim blonde and evil. Next, Kat tells us about the ancient Roman holiday (?) Lupercalia and how it ~may~ have inspired Valentine's Day. We also learned that people back in the day fuuuuuu*ked, they just didn't say it like that. This episode is sponsored b...

Kat teaches the legend of Bloody Mary Bloody Mary Bloody Mary! She is real, but a bitch can only be in one place at a time. Then, BUCKLE YOUR SEAT BELTS (get it?) while Hayley tells us about Henry Ford's dry, vegetarian utopia: Fordlandia, and its dark underbelly of square dancing.  This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order, visit ralphieandalice.com  and enter our pro...

This episode starts out sweet, then gets a little salty! Kat teaches a lesson on candy; ancient candy, Halloween candy, sex store candy.. All the candy! Then, Hayley tells us about Torajan funerals and how dying really isn't so bad. You get a tan, lose some weight, get a cool leather jacket, and are pulled up to heaven by a team of beautiful buffalo. Or rats if you're ballin' on a budget.  This ep...

Hayley teaches a lesson on the world's longest documented penis. JUST KIDDING. She teaches a lesson on the world's first meme! Or is it me-me? Next, Kat wants you to know that not all MAGA freaks are Evangelical Christians who worship sky daddy. There is a sizable population of white supremacist pagans who are terrorists on the streets and polytheistic in the sheets.  This episode is sponsored by...

Kat teaches a lesson on the "Bling Ring," a group of rich teenagers who repeatedly robbed the homes of celebrities including Paris Hilton, Orlando Bloom, and fashion icon Lindsay Lohan. We aren't saying we want to steal from Hilary Duff, but we are saying we want to take selfies in her bathroom. Then, Hayley tells us all about frenemies Elvis Presley and Jerry Lee Lewis. Did Jerry Lee show up at G...

Hayley tells the original story behind Disney's The Little Mermaid, and we spot the differences and the symbolism. Does the surface of the ocean mean sex? Is the red garden her pubes? Probably. Then, Kat presents the wild origin story of Rainforest Cafe. Rainforest Cafe is not a 'just the tip' kind of operation. It's the whole shaft.  This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off you...

Kat describes the incredible lives of Krista and Tatiana Hogan, a set of craniopagus twins with the ability to read each other's thoughts and move each other's limbs. Meanwhile, Kat displays her inability to properly pronounce "conjoined." Then, sorry to everyone who owns a pair of sequin mouse ears, Hayley teaches us that Disney actually sucks.  This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For...

Welcome to our sort-of-Christmas-themed episode! Christmas Eve is mentioned and so is snow! Hayley tells the story of Agatha Christie and how she was 100% that bitch who Gone Girl-ed herself. Then, Kat teaches a lesson on mountain daddies AKA yetis.   This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order, visit ralphieandalice.com  and enter our promo code NIGHTCLASSY.  Our Websit...

Hayley presents the broad history of thongs, starting with Otzi The Iceman's loincloth and ending with Monica Lewinsky's whale tale. Gone are the dark days of panty lines- no offense to panty lines. Next, Kat teaches a lesson on the human sense of smell. It turns out we can smell emotions, danger, and whether or not we're in a Target.   This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off y...

Hayley teaches a lesson that combines our two favorite talking points: ghosts and The Bachelorette! Last week, Queen Tayshia and a man who shall not be named went on a ghost hunting date at the La Quinta (it's a pun!) Resort, and naturally we needed all the background deets behind this "creepy detail." Then, Kat exposes Patrice Wilson, the man behind Rebecca Black's hit song Friday, as the disgust...

Kat is a hoe hoe hoe for the holidays and teaches the legends behind all of your favorite Christmas creatures. You SHOULD fear. Belsnickel is here. Next, Hayley tells the story of singer Claudine Longet. Claudine loved to ski and also loved murdering. We aren't sure which is worse.  This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order, visit ralphieandalice.com  and enter our pro...

Listen up hotties, this week Hayley teaches a lesson on Megan Thee Stallion's rise to fame. Meg is a rapper, absolutely NOT a "rappist," much like her friend "Missy Thee Elliott." One hour later, grab your bucket and your mop so Kat can tell you about Stephen Hillenburg and his best-known creation: SpongeBob SquarePants. This episode is brought to you by an entire fifth of vodka- so buckle up.  Th...

Kat is a list bitch once again and teaches a lesson on the more interesting White House pets. Sunny and Bo are cute and all, but they're no Emily Spinach the snake. Then, Hayley begins her lesson by defining "infanticide" and "neonatalcide," and makes everyone sad by describing the custom of abandoning babies in "baby boxes." We added in a trigger warning, because- duh.  This episode is sponsored...