Night Classy

Hide your wine, hide your cheese! Hayley teaches a lesson on the Great Fire of London and the subsequent atrocity of child chimney sweeps. Though the real lesson here is that rich people will always do anything to avoid paying taxes. Next, Kat brings up an old favorite: The Winchester Mystery House! Sarah Winchester may have been a little guy, but she liked a BIG house.  This episode is sponsored...

Kat gives Hayley and Alec homemade "gifts" before launching into a lesson on Victorian era hair wreaths and mourning rituals. Victorians were not just a little-sticious, they were A LOT-sticious. Next, Hayley covers the liger of note-taking: bullet journals, and the man who created them, Bullety McJournaly, no- Buletini Journalani.. Or was it really just Ryder Carroll? Our Website Produced by Para...

Hayley teaches about the "Day Disco Died;" the Chicago White Sox' promotional Disco Demolition Night. Cris cross! Everybody burn your records! Next, Kat makes dreams come true for every preteen girl back in 2009 with a crush on a boy with a bowl cut, by announcing that vampires are real! Though unfortunately not the ones described by literary genius: Stephanie Meyer.  Our Website Produced by Paras...

Kat heats things up like a hot pocket this week and covers the mysterious phenomenon that terrorized American diplomats in Cuba. Possible explanations include loud bugs, sonic weapons, Daddy Putin, and microwaves! Then, Hayley teaches a lesson on creative writing and dramatic monologues- no wait- sleep demons! Or as wet blankets call them, sleep paralysis. Fun fact about sleep demons- their penise...

This week we talk Star Wars- ever heard of it? Hayley takes us to a galaxy far far away in 2001, and covers the religion of Jediism. Next, Kat receives a package from daddy.. It's a bottle of vodka! And teaches a lesson on vodka, or as we like to call it- "second water." We are unsure if vodka was invented in Russia or Portland, the history is a little murky- just as a vodka night should be. This...

Kat is a witch bitch for sure and teaches a lesson on the Magic Resistance- the coalition of witches dedicated to taking down Donald Trump with a curse! Though one could argue Trump has already been cursed with a body (and face) that looks like Mr. Krabs without his shell. To perform this curse you will need something that encapsulates the essence of Trump, like an orange candle- though we recomme...

Happy October! This week, Kat and Hayley embraced the spirit of Halloween… in a Spirit Halloween and bought matching dirndls to celebrate an Oktoberfest-themed episode. Kat was a list bitch this episode and teaches all things interesting about Oktoberfest. All of our love to Auntie Anne's but Bavarian pretzels are much better. Then, Hayley interprets the Oktoberfest theme as loosely as possible by...

Kat presents the curse of King Tut's tomb and his controversh daddy! There definitely was a curse unless you're a wet blanket who hates fun. Next, Hayley starts the party back in Egypt once again and teaches the history of Birthdays. You know work went into this research because she read the damn Bible AND researchgate.net. Lastly, Tommy defends his sexuality. Enjoy! This episode is sponsored by B...

In this episode, Hayley exposes Satan for what he really is- a plagiarizer! Then, dives deep into the McMartin Preschool trials and all the satanic-panic-serial-killer realness that precluded it. Did serial killers love the 70s or did the 70s just love serial killers?! Next, Kat spills rainbow-colored tea all over queen of the 90s, Lisa Frank, and the love triangle between Lisa, Proud Girl Rhonda,...

Is mercury in retrograde or did the school year just start??! This week, Hayley talks astrology, which may or may not be real science- according to Neil Degrassi. Wasn't Drake on that show? Next, Kat tackles the medical mystery of Aquagenic Urticaria that not even a shower, crying, or all the Diet Coke in the world can fix. There is one way to make it worse though- which is by plucking out all you...

Bring your crystals bitches, we're goin' witchin'! Kat and Hayley went back to work this week and they are STRESSED. So, Kat shares some tips on how to relieve stress- but not those basic bitch stress relief strategies that you may be used to. Next, Hayley teaches the history behind some common school things like apples, female teacher goddesses on the frontier, and the pledge of allegiance. Why d...

Kat tells the story of the NXIVM sex-cult and Mole from Atlantas' doppelganger: Keith Raniere. Either one man's mole is another man's Brad Pitt, or Rainiere was a seriously manipulative sociopath (hint: it's the latter). Next, Hayley comes in like a lightning bolt and teaches about Nicola Tesla and his petty ass beef with Thomas Edison over AC vs DC power. Edison just needed to stop trying to make...

Marcus competed on the 17th season of Survivor in Gabon, Africa, and made it to the final three on the new FOX show Labor of Love. So, we were excited to nerd-out over our shared love of reality tv and get all the tea (Jeff Probst said WHAT?!). Please enjoy this bonus episode, and for more like it, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nightclassy .  This episode is sponsored by Ethyl Ambrosia. ...

Hayley teaches about the Mandela Effect, and transports us to high school and a NASCAR race in an attempt to explain neuroscience and quantum physics. When it comes to explaining the Mandela Effect are you on the "fun" side or the "probably true" side? Next, Kat goes over the history of nursing and shares some not-so-effective old fashioned medical advice. Did you know leeches double as fake eyela...

What do a giant painting of a peacock and locks of human baby hair have in common? They were both purchased by us second-hand, and now reside in our home. Hayley starts out this week by giving a brief history lesson on her favorite hobby: thrift shopping! Then covers some surprising thrift shop finds and the mystery behind them. Next, Kat tells the life story of "million-amillion-amillionheiress"...

This week the girls celebrate Night Classy's 21st Birthday by drinking too much champagne and presenting alcohol-themed lessons! First, Kat tells the story of Michael Malloy: the man who wouldn't die, and reminds us that if a stranger wants to take out a "life insurancy" on you, RUN. Then, Hayley enlightens us with 21 alcohol facts plus some bonus wisdom like "don't trust your feelings always."  T...

Kat explains how through lucid dreaming you can fly, smooch a model, become a baby gorilla, or even come to terms with the concept of death. Then, Hayley transitions the conversation from deep sleep to the Deep State and covers QAnon and the psychology behind why people believe conspiracy theories. The intel on PizzaGate may not have been "100%" but Hayley's research definitely was.  This episode...

Kat explores the eerie UFO videos released by the Pentagon earlier this year, with a quick side rant about how SCHOOLS SHOULD NOT BE F*CKING OPENING RIGHT NOW because #science. Next, Hayley calls on us to #FreeBritney, dives into Britney Spears' career and the infamous yellow shirt video, while making minimal "colon rupture" jokes.  This episode is sponsored by Ethyl Ambrosia.  For 15% off your or...

Hayley drinks some dinkleberry wine and teaches on the subjectivity of time and how time as a concept changes across cultures. Next, Kat covers the Seattle underground, its construction, its ghosts, and how the city glowed up from a muddy, vermin-infested cesspool.  This episode is sponsored by Ethyl Ambrosia.  For 15% off your order from Ethyl Ambrosia, visit EthylAmbrosia.com and enter the promo...

Hayley tackles a true crime classic: the disappearance of Madeleine McCann, while mispronouncing the name of every town in Europe. Next, Kat gives a lesson on the Brothers Grimm and reminds us to never trust a sausage.  This episode is sponsored by Ethyl Ambrosia.  For 15% off your order from Ethyl Ambrosia, visit EthylAmbrosia.com and enter the promo code NIGHTCLASSY. Link to our survey Produced...

Welcome to Night Classy's sweet Episode 16! The Night Classy crew '"celebrates" in a big way by delivering some of their darkest lessons yet. First, Kat explains the growing hate group: The Proud Boys and encourages everyone to look up their founder (Gavin McInnes) on Porn Hub. Then, Hayley keeps the negativity going and covers Blanche Monnier and her 25 years of horror.  This episode is sponsored...

Hayley answers the pressing question: why do people have such a desire to keep the human race alive? And offers some alternatives to having biological children like adopting a creek or hiring a fake family for social events. Then, Kat covers The Hermetic Order of The Golden Dawn and explains her "Wicca phase." This episode is sponsored by Ethyl Ambrosia.  For 15% off your order from Ethyl Ambrosia...

Kat teaches the evolution and domestication of house cats, and somehow this involves looking at a painting of a cat with a penis in its mouth. Then, Hayley terrifies us all with instances of accidental releasing of pathogens occurring in gain of function research and bioengineering. This episode is sponsored by Ethyl Ambrosia.  For 15% off your order from Ethyl Ambrosia, visit ethylambrosia.com an...

In honor of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and countless other BIPOC who have been wrongly brutalized or murdered by police we are participating in #podcastblackout to bring attention to the Black Lives Matter movement.  Instead of an episode this week, we encourage our listeners to donate to one of the organizations linked below and continue to educate yourselves on systematic racism and police br...

Kat continues the wild (and unbelievable) ride that is BlueAdept's exploration of Mariana's web. Then, Hayley explains the TikTok sensation: Randonauting and describes her experience with it finding love, friendship, and kitty cats. This episode is sponsored by Ethyl Ambrosia and Dicks By Mail.  For 15% off your order from Ethyl Ambrosia, visit ethylambrosia.com and enter the promo code NIGHTCLASS...