Neurodivergent Narratives Podcast

This week I'm starting a three part series on blame and responsibility. Blame is disempowering and it's hard to take responsibility when we grow up learning that who we are is always the problem. This episode looks at why that is and how I think this society has us blaming each other and ourselves so that the real problems that hold us all back can go ignored. My thoughts: 1. School and...

This week I share on self-care, but not so much on what I think we should do to take care of ourselves but why it's so damn difficult to do things for ourselves even when we know it's good for us. Self-care feels like a buzz word and we're shamed for doing it or shamed if we can't. But I think it's so much more layered and the difficulties in putting our needs first are wa...

This episode builds on intersectionality (see episode 15 for an introduction) as a tool to better understand the social problems in today's society by looking at the role of power in the organisation of society.  For intersectional analysis, there are four domains of power and I talk about them today and give examples to better illustrate what I mean. 1. Structural domain 2. Disciplinary powe...

In the final part of my series on potential, I have a think about how perfectionism plays a role in this whole mess and what I'm trying to do about it. I really believe that perfectionism is something that we end up struggling with because of what we learn about potential growing up too and this episode looks at how that happens, why that continues to limit us and what I'm learning to do...

This episode is part 3 of my series on potential.  I consider my past self and future self, what all that has to do with potential and what I'm learning about what it means to take my potential back along the way. If you haven't checked out my last couple of episodes on potential do that first. They consider why potential has been such a difficult word for us and how we can start to rede...

This episode is part two of an impromptu series I started on potential. This is a word that I've grown up using but really disliking. It's something that a lot of us ADHDers have nightmares about no doubt. This episode starts to look at another way of thinking about "potential" and why we might have been misled to what it actually means and why. What I'm learning: 1. Poten...

As ADHDers, we grow up with potential being lorded over us and being told that we can't seem to meet it, and any time we come close to it, we just never quite manage to grasp it. It's become a word that I've really come to dislike, and this episode explains why... This is a short series I'm going to do where I'll explore what is potential and whether we've been taught...

There's so much we need to relearn and unlearn in this journey to living at our best with ADHD (and our other neurodivergent conditions) and a lot of the ways that we learned to talk to ourselves, is definitely one of the things. In this episode, I share some of my favourite phrases that we need really understand what they mean, how damaging they are so we can finally start to let them go. Wh...

This episode is the last half of the previous episode (although there is a touch bit of overlap), but it defines cognitive dissonance a little clearer.  It also goes into more of some of the ways I'm trying and learning in order to keep the should-ing language a lot less and manage the discomfort of cognitive dissonance. What I thought: A quick review of some thoughts around what I should be...

I read some where that saying should to yourself was like always being in cognitive dissonance and I really felt that it made so much sense. for us ADHDers we seem to always be in cognitive dissonance because we’re always stuck between what we feel we want to be/do and what we feel we should/shouldn’t do/be. It’s such an uncomfortable place to be too. This episode looks at what I’m learning about...

This episode is one of my most personal yet where I share more about growing up as a transracial adoptee and how I learned that hiding and becoming invisible and being what I thought everyone wanted me to be was my way for avoiding the unpredictability of other people's reactions to me being different. I look at what I'm trying to do in order to become more visible and step into my power...

I've talked a lot about learning about the impact of my ADHD on my life and understanding it more, but I couldn't continue this mini-series centring ADHD without considering how I'm learning to recognise and utilise my strengths in things I liked but also how I might harness them more often in areas that I'm struggling with. What I'm learning: Creativity Interpersonal Intu...

Here’s the second half from last week. This time I look at what it’s been like to try to maintain my ADHD management and some of the thoughts and tricks I’ve learned along the way. The first half of this episode might seem a bit dismal (I’m learning just like the rest of you),  but there are ideas and things to think about that can make all the difference too that I explore in the second half.  Wh...

This week is another patron’s request podcast episode and this one centers ADHD more than any others I’ve written before. I’m talking about how I’ve been learning to understand my ‘Brand of ADHD’ and the ways that it impacts my life when I’ve not been as aware about it. I think that understanding who we are is vital if we’re going to get a good idea of what we need in order to be at our best. At t...

This week is I took a bit of a break from the series I’m in the middle of and asked my Patrons what they might want to hear me speak on. Self validation is something that’s a bit tricky for ADHDers and we look to others to make sure that we’re doing all we should be doing and end up in the trap using their feedback as a way to validate ourselves. It gives other people a lot of power over us when w...

This characteristic of either/or thinking really permeates into how I’ve made decisions in the past and how I’ve thought of myself. It’s been difficult for me to think in terms of grey area in my life and decisions. I’m a person that believes I need to have the exact qualification, I need to look the exact acceptable way otherwise it’s wrong.  I grew up with things having to be a certain way, or I...

I’m back with part two of this episode and this is where I go into the impact that this belief might have on us ADHDers and what we might struggle with. This episode looks at what we can do to start dismantling these ideas in all of us.  Challenges for ADHD: Writing struggles  Speaking expectation Intuitive intuition Attention span for reading and writing  Black ppl getting more severe diagnosis f...

Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash I think I’ve always been aware that I wasn’t really considered ‘good enough’ in this society, even while growing up as a transracial adoptee, away from other Black people to tell me that. But I spent my whole life trying to prove I was anyway. I chased the dream that if I could just be the best at what I do, surely I would show how good I was and thus be treated with...

This episode explores the importance of the written word (in English) and its impact on society. The importance of writing/reading/speaking in English is a huge part of white supremacist culture history and its importance is seen in schools and work places too. Your intelligence is dependent on how well you read and write, as if there are no other ways to communicate and share information. For ADH...

Photo by Andrew Leu on Unsplash I know what I have to do. I want to do it (at least I think I do…), but I just can’t get myself to do it.  There tends to be a lot of shame and guilt behind procrastination for me and its intensity seems to vary depending on what it is that I’m avoiding. For example, when it’s other people’s deadlines, I’m almost guaranteed to do things at the last minute. It’s beca...

Photo by Jessica Felicio on Unsplash My unmanaged (and undiagnosed) ADHD added to the difficulty of emotionally regulating the shame and guilt I felt in hiding what being Black meant to me as a transracial adoptee. This impacted decisions I’ve made my whole life, including the person I thought I should be. I couldn’t cope with the dissonance of not understanding what it meant to me to be Black whi...

Looking at part two of this characteristic of white supremacist culture, only one right way,  I’ll be sharing more about how it impacts our management of ADHD and how it’s existence makes the very way our brains operate wrong. I’ll look into what I’ve learned about myself and what I’ve been trying to do to dismantle this belief in my head. I’ll end with some tips that you can do too.  If you misse...

This episode is continues my series which looks into the characteristics of white supremacist culture with the idea that there is only one right way. This is only one right way to be, to do things, to believe, to think, to live etc...The resistance, shaming and corrections we experiences with our families, schools and careers, when we impulsively give suggestions for help, sharing our ideas or eve...

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash Blame keeps me stuck.  It isn't a very empowering emotion. When I'm blaming others it leaves me waiting for others to fix my problem, rather than fixing it myself. If I blame myself, most of the time I end up doing nothing but ruminating on what I’ve done. Blame often leaves me powerless, unable to see any control that I have in a situation or in my life. An...

This week we start a series on the characteristics of white supremacy society and how it’s so harmful for our ADHD brains. We’ll be exploring this over the next little while because I think as we break down these expectations, we’ll start to see that not only was this world not made for us, it’s also damaging for us to try and find a way to make these work in our lives. Perfectionism is the first...