Mum As You Are

How a line I heard in a comedy sketch has me thinking about negativity bias, doom scrolling and why we click on those sad dog videos that YouTube recommends.  I query how long it takes our brains to 'come down' from the anger, frustration and stress hormones that are getting fired up every time we pick up our phones looking for distraction. You can reach me: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com Books: More...

12 months ago, on International Women's Day I decided to quit social media. Or, at least I decided to stop using it until Mother's Day 8 weeks later and see what happened. As I've spoken about before on my blog, the impact on my mood, attention and general sense of well being was huge.  https://doctorerin.com.au/i-quit-social-media-as-a-psychologist-an-author-and-a-mum-heres-what-i-learned/&n...

I've had a massive week where my sense of safety and feeling in control has been challenged more than a few times! Here's a strategy I find helps ground me back into feeling better.

As we begin season 2, I wanted to talk a little about seasons of motherhood and what it's like going into the end of summer phase. A stage where you know you don't want more children, the cot and pram have been packed away or sold and yet you're not quite at peri menopause or menopause. Your kids might be out of nappies and no longer napping, but not exactly sleeping through the night and still li...

If you follow my work, you'll know I'm a fan of Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies. Knowing that I have a Rebel tendency has helped me understand parts of my personality and why I show up the way I do in a way that other personality tests haven't explained.  She's released the Happier App - it provides personalized strategies to help you become happier, healthier, more productive, and more crea...

An exercise in checking in with your body, mood and what you actually need before you pick up your phone to start scrolling. When I started doing this for myself, I discovered some interesting things about myself! Note that all my work about social media use and mental health comes from a place of kindness, self-compassion and encouraging you to make your own choices. No one likes being patronised...

When anxiety, anger, overwhelm and all the unpleasant feelings start to spiral it's often because we've slipped into THINKING our feelings instead of naming, describing and allowing the feelings. I'll teach you an exercise that helps the spiral to feel back in control. 

My daughters turned 4 and 6 this week, so it's also 4 and 6 years since my traumatic births. I took a few minutes to reflect on how things have been in that time - the growth I've seen, the 3 courses, a book and a podcast I created on birth trauma. What it's like to be in a place where I'm now feeling as complete as I can with (a) my own personal work and (b) the birth trauma content I've put out...

Episode 22 explores the question “is Mum brain real?”. I have a quick chat about some of the research I reviewed when writing my book, Motherhood, Mental Health & Social Media and share one of my own gloriously embarrassing moments of "What happened to my brain...? I swear my PhD isn't just printed off the internet :D"

This week I chat about something I think they got wrong on the show Maid . It's an amazing, moving, show however, I think they missed an opportunity to validate and normalise one particular aspect of parenting.  Motherhood is massively overstimulating. We need to normalize it, validate it and be compassionate in our communications that EVERY single parent on the planet struggles with this.&nb...

On the rush to get out post lock-downs and do all the things. To be busy filling a calendar, organizing play dates and stressing about Christmas before we've had a chance to take a breather. I talk you through the concept of the 'psychological bends' and a reminder to go gently and slowly with yourself :)

I think every single woman I know is functioning on this fear that she isn’t doing enough right now.  If you’ve never heard of the cartoon is called ‘You Should’ve Asked’ by French artist, Emma, pause and go have a look now. https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/ Emma (who, rightfully is so prolific they don’t need a surname) visually captures the concept of mental load....

A few synchronicities that have come up for me this week around the idea of embracing the in between. That phase of parenting where you're coming out of one season, but not quite ready for the next one. Knowing you need to rest, but feeling restless. Nervous to even look at a 2022 calendar and make plans, but feeling frustrated or stuck about not feeling inspired or creative yet.  I shar...

Creating comfortable family traditions and reducing stress with gift giving It’s that time of year again. A month until ‘Bowe week’ – the crazy week in my family where we ended up with our wedding anniversary, plus the two kids’ birthdays all falling within the same 7 days. No, I didn’t plan it that way! My oldest daughter’s birthday is a month before Christmas, and the SECOND it’s over she will w...

Nervous or excited about going back into the world? This week’s episode is a five minute chat about the difference between nervous and excited and how we can help kids (and ourselves) lean into working with our psychophysiology.  How validating the physical sensations or nerves and explaining that EVERYONE feels like this can be so powerful for kids. How over-reassuring that "you're ok" just...

Want to build connection  and cut through the small talk phase quickly? Share self-compassion for your flaws. I share 5 of my 'fatal' flaws that have been the biggest sources of growth.  I share a type of ancestral trauma that comes up for me - one that's common for people in helping/healing/caring roles. I share the distancing technique I use when this uneasy feeling comes up.  In...

I have a dislike of baby showers. So much so that I refused to have my own. In my girls’ baby books there is literally a blank section where I’ve written ‘sorry, it’s not Mummy’s thing’. It’s not that I dislike celebrating pregnancy and babies, it’s that I’m that awkward introvert who hates party games and doesn’t take board games seriously. The last baby shower I went to was maybe 8 years ago now...

First up, no, this is not a pregnancy story.  Instead, I’m going to share with you my terrifying experience with a doll in the Eighties. A story my Mum brings up any chance she can get. It was 1988 and I was five years old. There’s an ad for a sweet, crawling doll who cries when she falls down with a theme song set to ‘Pop Goes the Weasel’. It sounds like a horror movie already. Nevertheless,...

This week on the podcast I share my thoughts about why meditation is supposed to suck. The Calm app recently hit over a hundred million downloads yet I’m concerned people expect meditation to be this lovely, calming experience.  I want to normalise and validate how bloody difficult, annoying, triggering and even boring meditation can be. I sign up for those Oprah and Depak 21 day challenges o...

Forgive me for being a bit behind the 8 ball, but I’ve only just realized that Bennifer aka Ben Affleck and Jlo are together again. It took me down memory lane back to when they got together the first time. I told my husband they were back together and I was actually impressed that he knew who either of those people were. Jokes aside, I’ve been with my husband for 22 years nearly and I thought som...

Overall, most people have been intrigued and inspired by my decision to quit. I’ve gained a smaller, but more engaged community that feels both enriching and manageable. I feel there is a definite pull from a community of women who are looking for that reassurance that they too can scale right back or even quit and still be OK. I’ve shared plenty of upsides before. My head is clearer and my sensit...

When you think you don’t know what you’re doing (with your business, with your kids or anything else) I want you to remember “Who Jackie?” If you’re not familiar this phrase, allow me to indoctrinate you into one of my favourite pop culture references. What goes on behind the scenes of writers’ rooms for songs, movies and TV fascinates me. During the run of the 1990s sitcom, Roseanne , Roseanne Ba...

Here’s 6 things getting me through: 1. The sun The sun on my face. Though in an effort to up my vitamin D, I’ve developed new, winter lockdown freckles. Yes, you can indeed get freckles even if the UV index is 2.5! Time to finally buy that sun lamp I think. 2. Finding delight and whimsy This weekend I moved some of my potted bulbs so they could get some more sun. In the process of moving a pot, so...

A quick moment of acknowledgement for all we have to grieve. In this brief meditation I'll take you through some statements about what we've lost in this period of parenting in a pandemic. Some will be relatable, others not so much. You can add your own. The goal is not to force gratitude, look for silver linings or compare ourselves to others who have it worse. Just to acknowledge. I'll then take...

Do you have stress “tells” – little quirks that show when you’re overwhelmed, anxious and stressed? In poker, a “tell” is a change in behaviour that reveals a person’s inner state, and gamblers look for clues about who is holding or good or bad hand depending on their nonverbal behaviours. There’s also evidence that this is how you win ‘rock, paper, scissors’. Something I learned recently that del...