Mum As You Are

When getting up earlier, staying up later, or working when kids nap isn't an option... I'm currently home with my kids for school holidays, but I've still got work to get done (I've got a book coming out afterall!). In this episode I share a little about how I've gotten things done while the kids are around. It's not perfect. It doesn't always pan out, and yes, to be honest sometimes it feels like...

5 tools to cope with overstimulation. Brene Brown says we cannot selectively numb, and yet we still try it out multiple times a day. Even an amoeba in a petri dish will move away to avoid a toxin. We all avoid feeling pain. When we pick up our phones for a quick check or a quick scroll, it’s often to avoid pain. To distract from the overstimulation of mothering. Pre orders for my new book, Social...

Staying in your body and feeling grounded when you're stressed is hard! My gift to you over this holiday season is some tools to stay grounded and keep your nervous system supported. This particular episode makes more sense with the visuals, so head to my YouTube channel  if you want to see me demonstrate the tools Pre orders for my new book, Social Media Detox for Mums is open! Booktopia (21...

Is it true that when you heal the trauma you stop some of your trauma reactions?  Not necessarily! Sometimes, in addition to managing stress and dealing with out traumas, we need pattern interrupters. AKA tools to help undo some automatic behaviours. Maybe you come from a family of yellers and it's become an ingrained, automatic behaviour? As much as you want to stop, it keeps creeping in? If...

A tool to use when you're having one of those days (or many of those days!) where you just feel like you're failing at motherhood. Feeling capable and confident is a practise!  Pre orders for my new book, Social Media Detox for Mums is open! Booktopia (21% off) Angus & Robertson  (20% off) Amazon Australia Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD Book Depository for UK/EUROPE Get a copy of...

Instagram can be a positive experience, no doubt. However, it's also a breeding ground for toxic positivity and a cultural phenomenon that's maybe best described as cruel optimism.  Today I'll explain where we blur the boundaries between Positive Psychology (a really useful, evidence based and amazing mental health movement) and toxic positivity.  In other words, what happens when people...

My girls have their birthdays 2 days apart so this is the time of the year I think back to their births 5 and 7 years ago. Even though I’m done with babies, I absolutely still use some of the techniques I learned and taught in Hypnobirthing. I used one of them just the other day. I thought it might be interesting to reflect on what tools I still use.  If you don’t know, I used to teach Hypnob...

This week I reflect on busyness and its relationship with parental (or any other kind) burnout I'll discuss: Why people look at me funny whenever I'm asked if work is "busy" and I say "No!" My history with associating being busy with being safe - family patterns, coping with school bullying, work patterns and coping as a new mum with birth trauma How my body has shown me that I'm no longer built f...

In this episode I'll spend some time reflecting on an observation I've really noticed in the last 12 months - that more and more women are talking about being diagnosed with ADHD. I'll cover: How we can reflect on - what is parental burnout and/or anxiety, depression and trauma from the pandemic, versus what is ADHD? Is it possible the pandemic has highlighted underlying, undiagnosed ADHD for adul...

This week I reflect on how social media impact the maintenance stage of mental health I wonder how many mums go to therapy or coaching for one hour a week. In that one hour, they work on strategies to feel better. But then, within an hour they are on Instagram scrolling for 20-plus hours before their next session. Do you see what I’m saying about how social media addiction might just be cancelling...

This week I explain something that's the bread and butter of most  types of therapies - when should you actually feel and process your feelings and when should you use a tool (like distraction) to just manage in the moment? I'll cover: What is 'urge surfing'?  When does distraction NOT work very well?  Validating the experience of having a child who is upset and just isn't calming d...

Today I share an acronym that's used in addiction recovery and why I think it's a helpful prompt to put as a visual on the lock screen of your phone. I'll cover: Noticing what your body is telling you about internal stress cues It's human to want to distract or get rid of pain Reflecting on your own experience of connection versus communication and are you actually topped up by using your phone? W...

This week I reflect back on how much early motherhood takes out of us, and how it can be so hard to figure out when to keep going and when to rest How the first 5 years of parenting often coincides with the first 5 years of a new business for many mums. Working on your business versus working on your Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs isn't something we're taught at school How it can feel like the world...

In this episode, I talk about shame, should-ing all over yourself and the stuff that stops us from being the Mum we want to be I talk briefly about: How shame doesn't change behaviour An acronym to reflect on how shame feels What happens when you open your mouth and your mother/grandmother comes out How we can cope with the shame that gets triggered from our kids and our parenting reactions C...

I've been noticing myself and other people using the word "still" quite frequently. As in "still" tired, "still" overwhelmed. As if we somehow have an internalized belief that we shouldn't be feeling this way.  Rather than judging ourselves, I wonder what would happen if we stopped adding the word "still" before our emotional experiences?  My birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu If...

I'm often asked how on earth I managed to write and publish my first book when I still had a baby and a 2 year old. Today, I'll take you through my messy mother's writer's routine and how I wrote More Than a Healthy Baby: Finding Strength and Growth After Birth Trauma.  This was a book that just had to come out of me! and no, I didn't get up at 5AM or sacrifice any precious sleep to get...

If you struggle to practice self-compassion, know you're not alone!  In this episode I talk about: Why telling Mums "don't worry about the mess!" can be invalidating  How buying my kids stuff from Kmart to get a dopamine hit through lockdowns was OK. How it's also OK to move that stuff along now, along with all the gifts family wanted to give them after not seeing them for a while. ...

10 things to help slow down life. Some of these things are mental health specific tips, others are things I'd write in a letter to 'past Me'. Lessons, things I wish I did differently. As always, these are not rules or things one must live by! It will be different for everyone. These are just things that helped me. 

Today I'll teach you a great tool for remembering 5 easy mental health tools. Things you can count on when you're overwhelmed or stressed. I've used this in therapy for years, and when I used to teach hypnobirthing this was probably the most popular and useful tool I taught birth partners! 

Should we be just 'be positive?' Or is there space to normalise and talk about secret, shameful, hidden behaviours? Many of us have been indoctrinated into an idea that engaging with shadow is not something 'nice girls' are supposed to do. There are also massive fears for Mums who have negative thoughts about what it means if you're drawn towards reading horrific news or watching violent crime sho...

A super quick, easy technique to reset your nervous system. Directed eye movements to calm the vagus nerve. Note, you can be lying down or seated for this, but not driving! 

Black mothers in the Bronx are still 12 times more likely to die in childbirth than white women For more information about the film, visit: https://www.aftershockdocumentary.com My interview with Bruce McIntyre Save a Rose foundation My book:  More Than a Healthy Baby: Finding strength and growth after birth trauma

So you've tried using your phone less and you're left antsy, fidgety and generally not feeling as calm as you tell yourself you should? You're not alone! While the idea of using your phone less is a good one, it's still a huge change and there's not enough conversation around what happens to your brain when you make a huge change like this.  Why you can't stop checking and looking for rewards...

Beating yourself up for not drinking 2 liters of water a day, doing yoga every morning, journaling for 30 minutes, making green smoothies with $40 lettuces, intermittent fasting, knowing if you should be doing HITT or lifting weights, never sitting down unless you’re meditating…? It’s all a bit exhausting Rhythms and routines are good if they help you, but notice if they feel restrictive or someth...

So many of us are spending our days switching between distraction and rest. Where is the middle? Without a 'middle state' (positive goals and finding a flow state) we will just drift back to distraction again and again and again. We seek escape from distraction by crashing. We cope with a day of overload by collapsing in front of the tv or scrolling because our brains are fried from over stimulati...