Movie Mastery

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/04/movie-mastery-spice-world.mp3 It’s time to dive into the spicy world of girl power and see if somehow a movie based on and starring a band can in any way be good. Almost certainly not but we are obligated to watch it none the less. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/04/movie-mastery-the-item.mp3 Any time you find a movie that is written, directed by, and starring the same person you know it is either going to be a true masterpiece or a pile of self-indulgent garbage. Given the fact that you’ve probably never heard of this and the plot revolves around a dick-worm puppet; I’ll let you decide which. Learn more about...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/03/movie-mastery-captain-marvel.mp3 It’s time to go back to the mid 90’s which means it’s right in our wheelhouse. Is this the feminist icon we’ve all been waiting for or have the SJWs ruined everything by allowing movies to have speaking roles for women in them? I feel dirty even having typed that. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/03/movie-mastery-hard-ticket-to-hawaii.mp3 Some sort of agents of some sort of agency run around Hawaii shooting weird thugs and taking their tops off.  Come for Jef’s ebullient love of good old fashioned boob movies, stay for the rocket launcher. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/02/movie-mastery-what-men-want.mp3 Barely winning out in the poll for the month, this sequel(?) to an almost 20 year old movie raises a lot of questions. Questions like “Who cares?” and “Why are we watching this?” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/02/movie-mastery-jupiter-ascending.mp3 With a movie that was universally panned when it came out; will this turn out to be a sleeper of a hit? Or were the critics right and the whole thing is a ridiculous pile of nonsense? Maybe both? Find out on today’s Movie Mastery. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/01/movie-mastery-spiderman-into-the-spiderverse.mp3 You asked for it (like a month ago), you got it! We cover the animated sensation of the year. Nay! The decade! Does this new Spider-Man live up to the hype or are we so dead inside that joy can no longer penetrate our thick and scaly hides? Find out! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone....

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/01/movie-mastery-truth-or-dare.mp3 This week’s review is a little different as we go off from the normal format and Jon picks the movie. It’s a film so insidious that it has haunted his very existence for the past several months and it’s time he inflicted it on other people. Enjoy this double length episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit meg...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/Movie-Mastery-Babes-in-Toyland-1986.mp3 A Christmas movie from Jon’s past comes back to haunt Jef. This fever dream of a movie with no budget and a big name cast will meander around for about a half hour’s worth of content. Just like we do! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/11/movie-mastery-fantastic-beasts-tcog.mp3 Return once more to the Wizarding World where we follow out hero Newt Scamander as he barely manages to be part of the plot that is happening around him. Everyone from the first movie is back with barely any screentime because Johnny Depp is here and he’s got an accent. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/11/movie-mastery-down-periscope.mp3 Did Jef and Jon enjoy this movies subtle themes? Or did they find the entire thing to be sub par? One things for sure, watch this movie with sub-titles on. SUB JOKES! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/11/movie-mastery-black-mountain-side.mp3 Back with one last stab at some horror before the last of October’s spookiness gives way to too much food and presents. This one has both of us in agreement on the quality of the film. Does this mean Jef finally liked a horror movie? No. It does not. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoice...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/10/movie-mastery-venom.mp3 While not fully a horror film, I’m still counting this as an entry for the years Horrortoberfest. There’s a weird monster that possesses someone and it eats people so, you know, it’s close enough for me. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/10/movie-mastery-the-unborn.mp3 Taking a quick detour from the 80s horror week so that Jef can, once again, miss out on good movies and watch some crap that can’t even be saved by brief appearances from both Idris Elba and Gary Oldman. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/09/movie-mastery-the-predator.mp3 Once again, an alien species of hunters comes to Earth but this time it’s not trophies that they’re after. Can our ragtag crew of soldiers with PTSD, a biologist, and a kid with super autism stop this threat? Yes, obviously. Is it any good? Ehhhh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/09/movie-mastery-moontrap-target-earth.mp3 The movie cover shows giant fighting robots and the back promises a story of time travel and a dire rush to save the Earth. The movie delivers repeating exposition in a warehouse with no time travel and the only robots look like 6 foot tall foam Bionicles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/08/movie-mastery-slender-man.mp3 A terrifying internet meme comes to life and turns out to basically be if The Ring was about incredibly annoying teenagers. Also, instead of being a creepy background figure, Slender Man has turned into basically a mean tree spirit that will straight-up choke a bitch. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.f...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/08/movie-mastery-crash-and-burn.mp3 In the distant future of 2030, Earth is ravaged by the depletion of the ozone layer and one corporation holds power over everyone. Also, there are giant, sad-looking robots that are totally sweet. Now, forget all that because none of it matters and everything is bad actors talking in a factory. Learn more about your...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/07/movie-mastery-mamma-mia-2.mp3 It’s time to revisit the magical island paradise where rich white people sing and dance their cares away while the local Greeks toil in the background. In this prequel/sequel mash-up we discover exactly what the circumstances were when a young Donna boned down with 3 dudes in a couple weeks. Finally, the questions we a...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/07/movie-mastery-doa-dead-or-alive.mp3 It’s a movie based on a video game that is pretty much only known for the fact that the boobs would jiggle. You can probably guess what the movie’s cinematography tends to focus on. Also, you might have thought this came out in the 90s to cash in on the Mortal Kombat movie but it was 2006 and I’m frankly stunned....

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/movie-mastery-hereditary.mp3 We went a little overboard talking about the latest critical darling of the horror world. Did we talk for almost an hour and forty minutes because we loved it or hated it? Only one way to find out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/movie-mastery-solo.mp3 After the Deadpool 2 review, everyone was asking if we would also review Solo. We here at System Mastery podcasts are nothing if not open to listening to the desires of our fans. So, here it is in all of it’s nonsensical glory. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/movie-mastery-deadpool.mp3 Once again, Jon is joined by Quinn and Josette from the Swallows of the South podcast to provide our thoughts on Deadpool 2. Though mostly it’s our thoughts on weird mouth sounds and talking like a baby. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/movie-mastery-the-core.mp3 It’s another week of special guest hosts but this time you get twice the guests for half the cost! Jo and Quinn join in watching a disaster movie with probably the shakiest science I’ve seen in one of these. Also, we get into some Egyptian mythology for…some reason. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adc...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/movie-mastery-avengers-infinity-war.mp3 You didn’t vote for it but we went to see it anyway. It’s anarchy here over at Movie Mastery studios. Jef is gone and has been replaced by fan favorite, Claire. It’s all topsy-turvy and the whole world is blowing up. In the movie, too. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices