Movie Mastery

A 70's horror film that was mostly forgotten because even with a premise that seems like it should be wildly memorable, the entire thing is about as interesting as someone describing paint drying. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A literal afterthought of a movie that manages to survive mostly on being so weird that you can almost ignore how bad and boring it is. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's another Full Moon Features picture which means low budget kills and the absolute bare minimum of thrills. Unless you find extremely slow back-and-forth reaction shots between actors and puppets thrilling, in which case you might want to pace yourself on this one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Not every cartoon movie funded by a country can be as absolutely bonkers as Sir Billi or Millionaire Dogs. Sometimes you just get a mid Shrek/Disney pastiche. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As requested, we are doing the follow up to the Madame Web watch with a look back at the first sign that maybe Sony just doesn't know what the hell it's doing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can this movie truly be as bad as they say? Do we have another Morbius? Can we convince them to release this again in a couple months? One of these questions answered and more in the triumphant return of In Theaters Now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A trip to the seedy sky of the crime world where the most hardened criminals can gamble on the most degenerate games like *checks notes* Texas Hold-em. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chow Yun-fat teaches Seann William Scott that wuxia style martial arts is all about believing in yourself or whatever but it's fine since the movie is really about punching Nazis. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In a hard turn from the original movie that was about the acceptance of loss and moving on from grief, this movie is about how dynastic corporate wealth is a good thing, actually. And it's a Christmas movie! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A SyFy Original TV movie where an asteroid freezes everything around it and also it's Christmas time. I don't know, I let Jef pick this one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A movie about a man willing to commit several major felonies and some light murder just so his family doesn't have to move from their home to an apartment. Dude loves him some suburbs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You'll come to see Ray Wise be a manic sex pest and then stay because you already turned it on and it would be effort to put on something else. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A movie about how rich, old money white men can do whatever they want and if anyone tries to stop them, they're the bad guy. Also magic or something. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I guess the idea that being a vampire might not be great was novel in Canada in the 90's because this movie really focuses exclusively on that like it was going to blow your mind. It then does absolutely nothing else with its runtime. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A knock-off Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis drag poor Bela Lugosi on screen to be as unlikeable as possible at him. Eventually, there is a gorilla. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nic Cage in a movie that seemed to be tailor made to have Nic Cage in it while simultaneously unsure of what to do with him. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A stoner horror movie that doesn't attempt to even remotely be scary but also doesn't lean into the stoner comedy aspect either. Just a big pile of nothing that wastes everybody's time. Just like us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A cash grab mockbuster of Suicide Squad about fairy tale villains fighting against the forces of Death. A sentence that makes this absolute boring turd sound way more interesting than it is. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The UK tries to get in on the Corman trend of using Vincent Price in Edgar Allan Poe movies but messes it up so badly that it is almost impressive. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trying to cash in on the Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers but having none of the charm and fun that made those work. With special guest James D'Amato! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We just keep randomly getting animated movies for some reason. Blessedly, this one is not a low budget European turd but a fairly decent high budget one that got no promotion and nobody heard of. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A German animated film about the dangers of wealth and the corruption of morality. Just kidding. Some dogs get a mansion and then do a Home Alone on some truly grotesque bad guys. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The final film from beloved actor Sean Connery and the first feature length animated film from Scotland. It is also so bafflingly terrible that Jon kind of lost his mind while trying to review it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The cult classic fantasy/action/sci-fi film that that had some awesome ideas and also some poor execution. At least we get a young Liam Neeson that just looks happy to be there. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We take a look at a Jackie Chan movie that revolves around two professional thieves that become unlikely parents when they steal a baby. Hijinks but definitely not enjoyment ensues. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices