Monsters in the Morning

Carrying the weight of the world upon his larger than normal body, Maniac Mike must contemplate just how in the world he and TDC will make it to the moon. While lying with his soulmate the big man just can’t seem to turn off his giant head. Alone in the woods, body bloated, inflated with MSG, it’s within the television screen that the human balloon finds his only solace.

With bodies and minds full of highly salted and sauced meats and veggies, Mike and TDC begin their long journey towards the truth: the moon. Logistically getting there is a whole other thing. Were talking bout spaceships, space suits, space food, space for Mike’s big ass within the space ship, cameras for space, space for the cameras, space for any extra soy sauces or condiments for the space food...

When I need a bite but have no place in sight, I simply pick up the phone and make it a take out night. So many choices for me, a large body to ponder; but in the end I don’t fret, for there’s no need to wander. My appetite intense, my pangs quite the shock; my body craves carbs, General Tso and noodles via wok. Looking though the menu the options are endless, not ordering a few egg rolls would ju...

“Analogies are a lot like cookies, they taste good even when they crumble” - Known But Forgotten On holiday from the the rat race and rigamarole of sports podcasting excellence, Mike and Charley are at peace amongst fauna and flora. It’s within this silent melancholy that an epiphany is awakened within big Mike’s big ‘ol melon head. Finally the connections are fitting, the pieces are connecting, a...

“When duty calls you better not shit your pants…” - Unknown First Commander Chuck has just entered into the final stage of his mission to the moon. After months of hard pressed, sweaty, wet, and downright silly trainings, TDC is now ready to disembark the ship and relive himself on the moon. The mission; which has been meticulously planned and executed with the help of larger than most earth based...

Believe it or not the world was once just one giant floating piece of rock, just rumbling around in the ocean without a care. It was a wild time. Full of all kinds of strange plants, bugs, and weird looking fish things that had like no face or body… Imagine that! But hey, that was just how it was. It was a simpler time indeed. A time when we were one solid thing of soil-like stuff. Unbroken. Undon...

When opportunity comes a knock’n you can either answer the door and embrace the good fortune with open arms and grace. Or (as I like to do) pretend not to hear, lie back down on the couch in silence, and simply wait out said knocker until they eventually move on to another unsuspecting larf. It’s your choice after all. You hold all the cards, and it’s you and only you who can open that door and wa...

Most birthdays come but once a year. And that’s really too bad. For if it was up to us, we’d celebrate you every single day of the calendar year. So enjoy today. YOUR day. The day YOU were born. Today is yours and yours alone. Its YOUR DAY! Hooray! And for that we wish you the happiest of birthdays. May you dance.

When the world seems scary, gray, moist, bee infested, sticky, wild, waxy, muddy, misty, mad, muddy and sad; it’s a nice feeling to know there are constants that never fail to impress and comfort us mere peons. I speak not of thou state, nor faith based institution, or even the sun and moon collective. Instead when us broken down and beaten sacks of shit need an extra lift to get off our collectiv...

It’s a simple game with a fairly simple goal: become king. While there may be only 4 squares, allowing 4 players at a time, those gunning for an opportunity to battle within the squared-circle may sometimes wait amongst hundreds of equally eager hopefuls to get a chance to finally step up into the one square and play ball. Over the years different incarnations of what is most commonly known as “4-...

It’s a plague that’s sweeping the nation and more or less the entire world, one that effects 99.99% of all able bodied humans and even some highly advanced humanoid cyborgs and robots programed to feel pain. It’s our bodies and they ache. They really do. Our backs, our legs, our upper ass, our lower ass, our feet, our neck, our thighs… they hurt. Why you ask… Well, theres a variety of issues that...

I don’t know about you but I live my life inside a bracket. Every waking decision I make is first put into a large and complex bracket. Then once inside the bracket these choices are paired up against other possibilities, ideas, wishes, wants, random thoughts and the like. In order to move on, these queries must prove stellar against all odds, and out wit and out last their opponents to hopefully...

Join Tyler and Wayne, self proclaimed Big Papas and Co-Fathers of the Millennium, as they talk all things DAD! Listen in as the New Dads on the Block break down such hot topics including: Meal time 101, Bed Time Tips and Tricks, and Balancing it All. So heat up some nuggets, fill up a big bowl of ice cream, and pour a glass of Coke because the Dads are on the air and you deserve a break.

In a not so distant galaxy, in a not so distant universe, in a not do distant time, there floats a planet not so distant from ours. A planet of love, a planet of lust, a planet of war. The planet is Okonikus, and those who call it home, the Okoniki. live in relative peace. With the help of the Iys, the protectors of Okonikus, life is good. However, with the increasing assaults from their rivals th...

Well looks like you really dropped the ball on this one! Here I am all geared up and ready to provide one heck of a spectacular show and one half of the talent no call-no shows?! Needless to say I am sick with disappointment in your selfish and belligerent behavior. Hurt and disappointed to say the least. But beyond that, the fact that you not only let me down but EVERYONE at the station down! The...

What a magical and intense year 2022 has already been. A packed and cracked year already filled with awe and wonder, joy and poise, gladness and sadness, grumpy and gold, cold nights and chilly days, sunny skies and murky caves, donuts and dumpsters, big cats with big heats, the sad mixed with the mad, the lonely coveting the loved and so on and so forth… Tis the streets are truly streets a buzz w...

Looking for some good old fashion law and order? Justice served well done? Well look no further than Judge Stark! Bringing his quick pace, no nonsense personality coupled with his love/hate affection for the supernatural, Judge Stark brings out the truth in a time of so many unknowns…

Happy 2022 boys and girls! Can you believe it? Really… Two thousand and twenty two… Wow! What a number! What a digit! What a year?! Its only been a week and this year is always proving to be quite a memorable one. Maybe one of the classic years that we as a society look back on with fondness and warmth. So relish in its freshness, breathe in its lavender scent, and relax in its milky like texture...

Five years ago no one could of imaged that such a simple, fun, festive holiday special would become the seasonal staple it has grown to become. Its hard to believe that such bliss and spirit could be evoked through the stammer of carols and the rawness of one’s memory. Yet, here we are once again joined in union as we huddle ‘round the ol’ yule log and listen once again to the soft voice and gentl...

Mike and Charley are back this week with an all new Monsters in the Morning! Providing you with all the Bears news and blues your poor decrepit body can stomach. But stick around as they also share some of their favorite holiday traditions, tips towards making your next office Christmas party extra special, and sit in awe as the fat boys revel some hidden treasures found deep within their dirty gy...

Taking pen to paper has been and continues to be mankind’s supreme mode of communication. Even in this “digital age” filled with microwaves, robotic vacuums and dot matrix printers, the thrill of unleashing ink to parchment still gets our goose. Every year here at MITM, we like to open up our big ol’ brown mailbag and give ourselves a gander to some fan made penmanship upon stationary. Enjoy and B...

On this very special day we at Monsters in the Morning are so very proud and over joyed to present to you all: An Evening With Dennis Quaid . Join Dennis on a magical musical ride as he takes us down memory lane via his acoustic guitar and his crooner voice. Relax and engross yourself in song and story from one of America’s legendary leading men as he trades his acting hat for some dancing shoes....

With the leaves falling and the temperature dropping one can’t help but feel utterly bloated. Stuffed, round bellied and blue, ready to pop. Waddling through the continuous monotony of the work day, exhausted and breathless. Panting at the sheer sight of a fight of stairs or the longer than expected gangway. Sickened by your own reflection. Sticky with the sweet winter sweat as it beads down your...

The leaves fall from the trees above as I walk down this familiar path… Cobblestones slippery with the decaying organic parchment once so beautiful and red… I weep at the forgone memories of my past… Fallen and forgotten like the leaves… Trampled. Torn. Wet. Happy Halloween :) Love, Cotton Man

For years scholars have debated on the one true place where old friends can truly go to let loose, have fun, listen to sub-par music, be free, drink with reckless abandon, vomit on themselves and strangers, urinate in the streets, wear overpriced boots and hats, eat mass amounts of fried food, splatter shit in public washrooms, get mugged, get sick, get mad at each other, get shitty, get shit on,...